CHANTRESS Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Once you are 'over" your ex... and the break up......what are you going to do differently in your next relationship? What are your new boundaries?
foxh1234 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Once you are 'over" your ex... and the break up......what are you going to do differently in your next relationship? What are your new boundaries? As I have probably said in another thread, I'm not going to put her ahead of everything else in my life. She will be very important, but I cannot and will not put all my emotional eggs in one basket again. I lost myself when I was with her. I put my friends, family and everything else on hold just so I could spend all my time with her. She did the same thing and it cost us the relationship. We didn't have our own lives and interests, we spent every spare moment together and I don't think that is healthy for anyone. I also will not tolerate wishy washy behavior again from anyone in my life. My ex was always like that and would never commit to anything or make a decision. One day she was great the next miserable. I need someone who is more stable. My next GF must be mature and not a young woman who has no idea where she is going or what she wants from life. I want someone who will make decisions and not lean on me to do all the thinking. I want a partner and not someone who I have to baby and take care of like a child. I did that for most of my last relationship and you know where that got me. Is it too much to ask for a smart, beautiful, mature, interesting, fun woman to come into my life ? I just want to share this incredible ride called LIFE with someone who appreciates it as much as I do. I know she is out there and the search has now begun.
Author CHANTRESS Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 As I have probably said in another thread, I'm not going to put her ahead of everything else in my life. She will be very important, but I cannot and will not put all my emotional eggs in one basket again. I lost myself when I was with her. I put my friends, family and everything else on hold just so I could spend all my time with her. She did the same thing and it cost us the relationship. We didn't have our own lives and interests, we spent every spare moment together and I don't think that is healthy for anyone. I also will not tolerate wishy washy behavior again from anyone in my life. My ex was always like that and would never commit to anything or make a decision. One day she was great the next miserable. I need someone who is more stable. My next GF must be mature and not a young woman who has no idea where she is going or what she wants from life. I want someone who will make decisions and not lean on me to do all the thinking. I want a partner and not someone who I have to baby and take care of like a child. I did that for most of my last relationship and you know where that got me. Is it too much to ask for a smart, beautiful, mature, interesting, fun woman to come into my life ? I just want to share this incredible ride called LIFE with someone who appreciates it as much as I do. I know she is out there and the search has now begun. WOW..now THAT is a well thought out answer. And no..it's NOT too much to ask for all those things... I think your list is extremely reasonable. I think you'll do JUST FINE!!!
motive2002 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I have one major rule. Respect. I let my ex walk all over me. It's never gonna happen like that again. Disrespect me and I'll show you the door.
BackonTrack Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Communication, I will talk to my mate to see where her HEAD is at, I would want to know what she is thinking & what she wants from me. I would nip behavior which I don't like in the butt from the start instead of letting it fester into something uncontrollable. I would get involved in her family life if she has one and show my face a few times so people whom surround her can know I am a good person. I will actively try to strengthen our bond with simple activities such as board games. I will try & find her hobbies and interest and take a active role in them. Atleast twice / month, we will do something she wants to do as opposed to doing something I want to do. Listen to oneself and follow my inner thoughts.
kyta Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Im going to do nothing diffrent, im me im not going to change who i am for anyone.
coffeemaker Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 The moment she displays a lack of integrity and courtesy, i'll show her the door. I will not tolerate inconsistent behavior. Also, communication, if there's something I don't get (maybe i'm being dense), then I'll always, always seek clarification - can't let it slide in the next one.
justaman99 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Yeah to be a better communicator on my part as well.
Nikki Sahagin Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Next time around, I will try to keep a social life and allow him to keep his so that neither of us are isolated together in our own intensity. I will try to trust and not give into insecurities or paranoia. I will try not to purposefully sabotague or destroy a relationship to prove to myself that they just can't work. I will have more faith.
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