Annabelle222 Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 My boyfriend and I (both 26 at the time) moved in together last March, and my parents totally hated it. My dad threw a huge temper tantrum, which resulted in my boyfriend on the phone with him, declaring his commitment to me and intention we both have to get married (nervously, of course). Because of this, we decided (my boyfriend suggested) to set a wedding date, and a city (we picked the town my boyfriend is from, because it's pretty and March, i guess because it seemed like a nice amount of time away). But, we don't actually look at locations or make any cemented plans. I should say I don't much obsess or care about weddings. In fact, we picked my boyfriends town with the intention that his mom would do most of the wedding logistical stuff I dread. But then, I recently found out while I was away at a conference that a research cruise (I'm a scientist working on my doctorate) I am dying to go on and need for my thesis is scheduled sometime between Feb.- July of next year. Not good for wedding scheduling. So then I thought, hey, we can have a small wedding when our families come visit us for Thanksgiving. Not so much planning, small, intimate, I'm really starting to love the idea. I think about it a lot while I am away at a conference abroad for a few days, and when I get home, I pitch it to my boyfriend. He hates it. Hates it. He comes up with a host of reasons (all crappy in my opinion) of why we can't do it. I realize he probably doesn't like that I've switched stuff up on him. I wouldn't like it either. He also says I'm just trying to rush and get it over with. I don't feel like I am doing that. I really really want to marry him. And I don't want to wait until after I graduate and we are trying to both look for jobs and move to a new city to do it. So I try to compromise. I say, let's have it in January and he concedes. I find a place to have it in our neighborhood, we go and see it, and he doesn't object, but he's not completely convinced, or at least I feel like he isn't completely convinced. Ironically, I have totally fallen in love with where we are looking at having our wedding and I am getting excited about a wedding, something I never really thought would happen. (Not a big wedding, but a nice, small intimate wedding that I plan -- who knew?) But I feel also that I have really lost something with my boyfriend not being as excited about it as me, or maybe I haven't and I am just paranoid. And so when I got the contract about the wedding location this week I haven't signed it. Instead I look at it and feel sort of excited and sort of nervous about my boyfriend. I need him. And when I ask him about the wedding. He says yes, let's do it in a super serious but genuine voice, not a fun happy voice. Did I ruin it? Am I just being hyper paranoid about this? Help! Link to post Share on other sites
havoc Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 Sorry if I missed it, but your new plan for the wedding -- does it include moving up the wedding date? Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 What were his reasons for not liking the change in plans? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabelle222 Posted August 1, 2008 Author Share Posted August 1, 2008 So yeah, current plans are the wedding in January (instead of March) His reasons for not wanting the wedding over Thanksgiving was: To rushed His family doesn't like New York (where we live) and won't want to come here It's expensive to have the wedding here (as opposed to where he is from), people in his family can't afford it It would be hard for his grandparents to come because his grandmother is handicapped Only the grandmother argument really worked at all with me (he adores her). But since then we have made sure the wedding location could be handicapped accessible. Also he has said that his grandparents can probably stay with relatives in a nearby city -- he talked to his parents about this. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Those all sound like legit concerns...however it sounds like after he had time to think about it he is on-board. Don't worry too much about it he is probably excited too. Just make sure you do your best to make it easy on his family with them having to travel. It is probably wedding jidders that has you over-thinking his reaction to the change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Annabelle222 Posted August 6, 2008 Author Share Posted August 6, 2008 You guys were right. I just signed the contract tonight, and we were giggling in bed about where to register. Link to post Share on other sites
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