Lucky555 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 lets say the guy you were seeing had his ex still chasing him...what would you do as the girl? What should the guy do and if he still wants to be friends with her?
Lizzie60 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 lets say the guy you were seeing had his ex still chasing him...what would you do as the girl? What should the guy do and if he still wants to be friends with her? Drop him.. they will eventually have sex again...
Author Lucky555 Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 even after they have been broke up for 2.5 yrs or so?
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 He's keeping her there as his backup plan. Congrats you're dating a jerk.
KinAZ Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 The fact that she is still chasing him is the deal breaker, and I might have to agree with the other posters. Exes can still be friends, but if I'm in a relationship, and I have an ex hot on my trail, it WILL make me uncomfortable and I WILL distance myself a bit. If the case is that he has actually expressed discomfort, then the situation is a little different. All he has to do is man up, tell her they can still be friends but she needs to chill out, and he will still need to distance himself simply because saying "chill out" isn't going to make romantic or sexual interest vanish into thin air.
Author Lucky555 Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 thanks for the replies. I am not dating this guy. Its something that i had to get clear for the future. This was my past guy so to speak..i have to see him again in a couple weeks for a friend function. If there are any passes to me i am going to have to be really strong and say no..no matter what.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 You'd break up with the guy if he starts jumping in the sack with her.
Author Lucky555 Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 well i think he feels compelled to make sure shes ok because they were only with each other. he has never been with another girl they lost their virginity to each other so...i think this is why but still its messed up. they were going to get married too. Its been 2.5 yrs since their break up. I am not with him and i don't plan on it due to this stuff going on. I didn't know the full extent until i had begun dating him and then things were weird with how he was acting this was why. I am preparing myself mentally to deal with the meeting in a couple weeks. it took me awhile and some investigation to actually know what the hell was going on and yeah thats that.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 well i think he feels compelled to make sure shes ok because they were only with each other. he has never been with another girl they lost their virginity to each other so...i think this is why but still its messed up. they were going to get married too. Its been 2.5 yrs since their break up. I am not with him and i don't plan on it due to this stuff going on. I didn't know the full extent until i had begun dating him and then things were weird with how he was acting this was why. I am preparing myself mentally to deal with the meeting in a couple weeks. it took me awhile and some investigation to actually know what the hell was going on and yeah thats that. All the more reason not to get involved. They sound like high school sweethearts, and got engaged. Even if they're broken up they're still attached. Both of them are psychologically scarred by each other. If you hear about them 20 years from now, I bet they'll be married.
Carmen87 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 I have been here. My current SO's ex gf (from over 4 years ago) started contacting him saying they needed to be friends, and it wasn't right they never spoke. I would have been ok with it, but I had this feeling she had ulterior motives. Sure enough, she started showing up at parties thrown by his friends and such and made a move on him. He now agrees it is best not to be friends with her. If he knows she wants him back, then he is keeping her around for backup.
Author Lucky555 Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Both of them are psychologically scarred by each other. Yes, they are. He is ready to move on and I know this. He doesn't want her back and i know this too. However, she is playing with his head in ways that are not healthy. Such as saying how depressed she is and sad ect. To the point where it is like "is she going to physically hurt herself?" and then blame him? Shes playing the manipulative, psychotic game with him. Shes messing with his head and its like he has to "save himself from the devil" lol Right now i think me not giving into even trying to be his friend even after we were seeing each other shows that he has to do something about this situation and he has to deal with it now. Even if he and i didn't work out, there is always the next girl who will not tolerate this. The only thing he needs to do is cut contact with her and if something happens to her not to feel guilty because she is an adult and can take care of herself. I think he has to realize this on his own though. I am currently not speaking to him either so im fine but i really what to get a good perspective of how i will approach our meeting rationally and try never to see him again! I am happy where i am and i don't want to go through this stuff again. The fact is i am glad i recovered from leaving the so called relationship we had and i am glad i am ready to love again. It took me some time to heal but i feel better than when i went through it. It sucked that i was so blind for so long and i didn't put my foot down. I have learned I deserve nothing but the best and the up most respect. I appreciate me enough to say that the next guy will have to treat me like gold or he will lose me. i have no problem being single and finding the right guy who will!
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