mikedrum13 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 hello... need some advice i was in a relationship for 8 years. she was a teenager when we started and the first time we had sex we were both virgins we broke up like 4 times during de las 4 years until it all ended. one month later she started another relation. 4 months after that she started looking for me. we got together and she told me our relation went bad because of her. we didnt had sex the last year of the relation and it was a very big issue during most of it. the thing is she promised to change and be the woman i deserved and that all of the problems we had in bed were her fault. she also claims i'm the man of her life and she doesn't see her future without me. i'm trying to belive her and she is trying to prove me she is willing to change. the only problem is she had sex with the other guy after a month of seeing him and i'm having trouble with getting over that due to our history. i mean, how could she sleep with another man after all the problems we had? i don't understand why she did that... i thought i knew her but it appears i didn't. she was always so concern about being with the right guy and not jumping into it. also, she won't answer any of this. she won't tell me why she did it and what led her to do that. why did she slept with a man she didn't fully knew so fast knowing she hadn't been able to do it with me for so long? please help! how do i get over all this feelings of treason and i don't think i can be intimate with her. at least for now.
CaliGuy Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 She needed to sow her wild oats. To see what else was out there and to have the satisfaction of knowing she is choosing the right guy. She was young when she met you, so you must understand that she needed to see a little of the world to be sure. Give her a break. Honestly. She's choosing YOU not someone else. There isn't any treason there. You were both broken up. You seem to put so much of the emphasis of your relationship on sex when that is NOT the sole part of a relationship that determines success. Do you have fun together? Are you friends? Do you share common interest? Do you really care about her as a person or how much sex she is giving you? Think with the brain in your head, not the one between your legs. Successful relationships are much more than sex...
TrustInYourself Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Ask her how much money she has in her wallet. Then take it. TAKE IT. TAKES IT MY PRECIOUS!
WiseOne1 Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 This makes me think that I never had real love. Because once a girl has sex with another guy during, or after a breakup, im finished with her. Maybe I dont believe in sloppys seconds' if you want to call it that, or maybe sex with someone else just turns me off about that person. But then again you have somepeople that will take there ex back for sexual cheating or after sleeping with the whole town. I Dunno. Anyways!!! If your gonna be with her you have to forgive her, if not theres no reason to step back into the relationship. Heck if it makes you feel better go sleep with a women or such, but you must forgive her. Your not hurt, its more that the male ego is damaged. Ya Know?
NickP Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I'm with caliguy on this one dude! I mean it was clear that the both of u were broken up, so as awful as this may sound, she might have been just trying to fufill her physical desires at that point. If she cheated on you, it'd be a totally different situation I think. Try taking things slow? A step at a time, and if you ever think you can't get over it, then I guess your happiness should be of utmost importance to urself.
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