Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 We all cope differently. Some use anger, some tears, some humour...as long as it is vented here and nobody gets hurt in real life, there is not much to say against it. I also don't think that it disqualifies everything JB and Baller had in the past, but I can see the need to vent her emotions. It's very unlikely that she will send anything, because there is no need to dignify this action if it was done to get back at her, and no need to be cordial (with a real present) because he didn't inform her himself. So why not fantasize a bit in here, feel better and move on more quickly? I understand your position, but as long as JB isn't throwing dildos at them at the ceremony, there is not much harm in letting it out on here. Thank you, NM! I can't believe we even need to respond to Stockalone. His comments are ridiculously absurd. Perhaps he's never had a relationship and then a break-up and a slap in the face that would warrant the fleeting revenge fantasies. I think (most) of the rest of yes sadly know the emotional gamut that is run during something like this. I still think your gift ideas are fabulous. Even the back-up options.
Nevermind Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 JB: Thanks. I happen to know that Stockalone knows a lot about heart-ache. He also agreed that if the Baller does it to get back at you, then he really is an idiot. I guess he just wanted to offer another angle. You just view coping with this differently, and that's okay. Both valid opinions.
Ariadne Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Yeah, That's pretty weird JB. Do you think she loves him? Because if she does, crazy and all, this could be a good thing for him. Because you didn't care much for him.. at least that. And this way he'll get over you more easily. I know is tough to hear about that news, but this is more of an ego thing than a love thing.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Yeah, That's pretty weird JB. Do you think she loves him? Because if she does, crazy and all, this could be a good thing for him. Because you didn't care much for him.. at least that. And this way he'll get over you more easily. I know is tough to hear about that news, but this is more of an ego thing than a love thing. I think she's always been hoping for him (obviously - I mean, who accepts a marriage proposal OVER THE PHONE from someone you haven't seen in years?), but I don't believe he loves her, no. I hold little belief this "marriage" comes to fruition.
Stockalone Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Thank you, NM! I can't believe we even need to respond to Stockalone. His comments are ridiculously absurd. Perhaps he's never had a relationship and then a break-up and a slap in the face that would warrant the fleeting revenge fantasies. I think (most) of the rest of yes sadly know the emotional gamut that is run during something like this. I still think your gift ideas are fabulous. Even the back-up options. If you only wanted replies from people who agree with you and give you a pat on the back, you should have said so. If you felt personally attacked by my post, I apologize. That was not my intention.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 If you only wanted replies from people who agree with you and give you a pat on the back, you should have said so. If you felt personally attacked by my post, I apologize. That was not my intention. Again, your comments are absurd. You seem to take things WAY too seriously, Stock. Even when it's not your own life - lol. I never felt attacked, and your response wasn't offensive, except for your lack of humor about us bantering about giving the happy couple a vibrator. IT WAS A JOKE. Lighten up. You'll feel better if you do...
Tomcat33 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 WHAAAT???? I just saw this now. That's INSANE!?!? OMG JB!! How does a man get engaged with a woman he is not even dating/seeing!?!? WTF? Can you please explain this, I am floored!!
Tomcat33 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 I think she's always been hoping for him (obviously - I mean, who accepts a marriage proposal OVER THE PHONE from someone you haven't seen in years?), but I don't believe he loves her, no. I hold little belief this "marriage" comes to fruition. C'MON!!! He proposed over the phone and they have not seen each other for years!?!? Ok this in insane, your baller dude has completely lost the plot!
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 You broke up with him, so it's not really any of your business is it? This was your last choice of guy... I think you need to review what type of guys you're seeing and why because if I had an ex that did this my siren for what the hell have I been doing would be going nenawnenaw. Seems maturity isn't top of your agenda....
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 C'MON!!! He proposed over the phone and they have not seen each other for years!?!? Ok this in insane, your baller dude has completely lost the plot! LOL. Ya think? Yeah, that's why I'm not in tears over this, TC. Just pissed and sad that he did this at all. It's SO ridiculously petty and childish. I mean, if he wanted to hurt me, or smoke me out, there were plenty of actually effective means to do that. This is just insane, as you said. She has NEVER gotten over him, apparently. I mean, who accepts a marriage proposal from an ex you haven't even SEEN, right? I don't even take many phone calls from ex's, let alone a marriage proposal. Yeesh. That's why I like NM's engagement present ideas of a gold pan for her, and a onesie for him. CLASSIC. I just wonder how long he will keep up the charade when he realizes I'm not reacting to it. Hope he's got a good pre-nup!
Ruby Slippers Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Wow, what a baby! This only makes it more apparent that you made the right decision.
Keridan Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Sometimes you get the most interesting reactions on LS ... wow. Hope yer still holding up well, JB!
Tomcat33 Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 LOL. Ya think? Yeah, that's why I'm not in tears over this, TC. Just pissed and sad that he did this at all. It's SO ridiculously petty and childish. I mean, if he wanted to hurt me, or smoke me out, there were plenty of actually effective means to do that. This is just insane, as you said. She has NEVER gotten over him, apparently. I mean, who accepts a marriage proposal from an ex you haven't even SEEN, right? I don't even take many phone calls from ex's, let alone a marriage proposal. Yeesh. That's why I like NM's engagement present ideas of a gold pan for her, and a onesie for him. CLASSIC. I just wonder how long he will keep up the charade when he realizes I'm not reacting to it. Hope he's got a good pre-nup! Honestly, I am completely floored. I mean if he was that affected by your rejection to end it with him when he went away, then why wouldn't he just wait until he calmed down a bit and just talked to you about it? I remember you telling us he was not very good at expressing himself emotionally which means he has tendencies to do things in secret. Something just doesn't sit right with this scenario. Furthermore, I think if he goes through with it and does marry her it could mean one of two things: he was still in love with her too or he uses avoidance of confrontation when problems arise and acts in secretive ways which could only mean that if you DID end up with him he would have stabbed you in the back in some way if you ever had problems in the relationship. And he will do the same to his ex if he ends up with her. HUGE eye opener here!!
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Wow, what a baby! This only makes it more apparent that you made the right decision. Doesn't it, though? Talk about confirming my actions. Pfft.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Honestly, I am completely floored. I mean if he was that affected by your rejection to end it with him when he went away, then why wouldn't he just wait until he calmed down a bit and just talked to you about it? I remember you telling us he was not very good at expressing himself emotionally which means he has tendencies to do things in secret. Something just doesn't sit right with this scenario. Furthermore, I think if he goes through with it and does marry her it could mean one of two things: he was still in love with her too or he uses avoidance of confrontation when problems arise and acts in secretive ways which could only mean that if you DID end up with him he would have stabbed you in the back in some way if you ever had problems in the relationship. And he will do the same to his ex if he ends up with her. HUGE eye opener here!! Well, his Mom called me a little while ago, TC. She was so floored by this as well, and wanted to know WHAT would possess him to do something so stupid (hey - I didn't raise him - what do I know? lol). Apparently he had been talking me up to the family as "the one", so she is equally pissed at him for behaving like a child, and also for having to involve her in his drama. His family thinks he's snapped. No one close to him is believing this is "true love". I don't either, frankly. Yes, he was never good at the emotional talks, but I had no idea this was brewing! I am fully expecting a retraction within two weeks. Keridan - Im just fine, thanks. Sad he did this, but still really stunned by the magnitude of the actions.
torranceshipman Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Maybe those two were in touch on and off for the entire time...did you have a gut feeling something was wrong aside from the prospect of an LDR? I am guessing maybe, as thats why you dumped him? Because a limited time LDR with loads of great communication is workable. That gut feeling couldve been warning you there was maybe another girl in the picture...maybe this one...its quite unusual that they hadnt seen eachother at all and he proposed - maybe he'd flown her up for a couple of weekends here and there...maybe their split was more mutual than he let on and he secretly had feelings for her all this time...? Sometimes two people can be like that...maybe he realised she was the one he wanted after all? Whichever way sounds like you dodged a bullet! Men suck sometimes...
D-Lish Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Maybe those two were in touch on and off for the entire time...did you have a gut feeling something was wrong aside from the prospect of an LDR? I am guessing maybe, as thats why you dumped him? Because a limited time LDR with loads of great communication is workable. That gut feeling couldve been warning you there was maybe another girl in the picture...maybe this one...its quite unusual that they hadnt seen eachother at all and he proposed - maybe he'd flown her up for a couple of weekends here and there...maybe their split was more mutual than he let on and he secretly had feelings for her all this time...? Sometimes two people can be like that...maybe he realised she was the one he wanted after all? Whichever way sounds like you dodged a bullet! Men suck sometimes... It seems unlikely this is the case- only because he took JB to meet his family, and that was a huge step for him. Also- the family is calling JB... so I just assume they would have known if he had have been in touch with his ex. I think the guy just cracked and had a knee jerk reaction to the pain of the break up. People do rash things in moments of crisis, and I suspect the break up was a crisis for him.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 Maybe those two were in touch on and off for the entire time...did you have a gut feeling something was wrong aside from the prospect of an LDR? I am guessing maybe, as thats why you dumped him? Because a limited time LDR with loads of great communication is workable. That gut feeling couldve been warning you there was maybe another girl in the picture...maybe this one...its quite unusual that they hadnt seen eachother at all and he proposed - maybe he'd flown her up for a couple of weekends here and there...maybe their split was more mutual than he let on and he secretly had feelings for her all this time...? Sometimes two people can be like that...maybe he realised she was the one he wanted after all? Whichever way sounds like you dodged a bullet! Men suck sometimes... Nope, no, and not at all. lol I didn't have any gut feeling about not wanting a LDR with him. I just didn't WANT one with anybody. And unless he was flying her up to meet for 15 minutes while he was taking a dump and I was cooking in the kitchen, there were no "weekends" where he was seeing anyone. This wasn't about him genuinely being involved with her and loving her. It is all about him trying to hurt me and punish me for the break-up. When he told me during one of our break-up fights that he would make sure I regretted this decision, I didn't give him enough credit. Crafty ploy, but still fell short of the mark.
Art_Critic Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 He did somehow know that she would say yes after 2 years.. I'll bet she had been sending him emails so he knew how she felt.. No woman in their right mind would just say yeas out of the blue like that. While they may not have been seeing one another it does seem to make sense that maybe they had been i contact in some form or another.. chat..email..phone..text.. something. I also don't mean that he was cheating on you.. just keeping in touch and she was probably making those advances the whole 2 years.. That would explain the regret statement.. maybe he had it planned that if you broke up he went on to plan B
Lishy Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Wow you are lucky JB, that guy has issues with his issues!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel sorry the the poor girl who has agreed to marry the twat!
Ariadne Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 I think she's always been hoping for him (obviously - I mean, who accepts a marriage proposal OVER THE PHONE from someone you haven't seen in years?), but I don't believe he loves her, no...I hold little belief this "marriage" comes to fruition. Well, he seems to be on his way. But I suppose they'd have to see each other again and get reacquainted to know for sure. I always believed that men are miserable when they marry a woman whom they love but who doesn't love them. But it works much better the other way around, because men are easy to please when treated with love.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 Wow you are lucky JB, that guy has issues with his issues!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel sorry the the poor girl who has agreed to marry the twat! LMAO. Lishy - you always have such a way of putting it right out there. I just love that. Yes, his issues have issues! I just can't wait to see how this resolves. I can't blame her, I mean, how many women out there wouldn't jump at the chance to marry a pro athlete earning a cool 2.8 million a year? Well, I know I wouldn't. And you wouldn't. And most of our fellow LS chicks wouldn't. But, I guess if you were desperate, and still held a candle for an ex, getting that dream call out of the blue would make life complete, no? I think he's an idiot for being so childish, but she's gotta have her own world of mishigoss going on.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 I always believed that men are miserable when they marry a woman whom they love but who doesn't love them. But it works much better the other way around, because men are easy to please when treated with love. Well, in the case of Baller, anyone who wants to cater to his adolescent whims and blow smoke up his fat ass, is probably seeming very attractive right now. I mean, much better than the sensible choreographer whom you loved and dumped you for moving out of state, right? Pfft.
Ariadne Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Well, in the case of Baller, anyone who wants to cater to his adolescent whims and blow smoke up his fat ass, is probably seeming very attractive right now. I mean, much better than the sensible choreographer whom you loved and dumped you for moving out of state, right? Pfft. Well, but if you said she wasn't very bright, she probably looks up to him even if he has adolescent whims or whatever. In your case, I can imagine it's tough to lose someone who cares and was there for you. That's always nice to have.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 He did somehow know that she would say yes after 2 years.. I'll bet she had been sending him emails so he knew how she felt.. No woman in their right mind would just say yeas out of the blue like that. While they may not have been seeing one another it does seem to make sense that maybe they had been i contact in some form or another.. chat..email..phone..text.. something. I also don't mean that he was cheating on you.. just keeping in touch and she was probably making those advances the whole 2 years.. That would explain the regret statement.. maybe he had it planned that if you broke up he went on to plan B She was kind of like the girl next door with the crush. He dated her years and years ago, she wanted a serious commitment EARLY, and he wanted no part of it. End of relationship. She's a young girl with no ambition, is rather quiet, yet pretty. Basically, she won't challenge him and will fawn all over him. I think the attraction right now is someone who doesn't pose a threat to his emotions. And I'm not sure he had anything planned when he made the threat. We had some heinous fights before he left, and he readily descended into some behavior I hadn't seen before. And I think if a woman is desperate enough, if her dream guy called and poured on the lines, she'd bite. But, I think he knew that...
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