Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Everyone needs someone. You sound like you still have a lot of feelings for this man. You should let him know you only live once. How long has he known this girl that he is marrying ? This sounds like a tragic situation to me. LOL. I guess this is all new to you, Max. He is someone I dated for the last 6 months. He left to play in the NFL, wanted us to continue, and I opted out of a LDR. We split less than a month ago, and last week before he left, he was still begging me to reconsider, etc. Apparently he called an ex-gf over the weekend who he hasn't seen in two years, and asked her to marry him. She said yes (read: gold digger). His family thinks he's doing it to spite me. It's not tragic - it's just STUPID.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Bitter baller bites? I hafta say, it sounds like some sort of candy you might find at the adult store. Of course, that might be fitting. Is baby boy baller trying to draw you out with this news? Could he have put his sister up to calling you with a trumped up story to see if you contact him? It just sounds so far fetched and honestly I find it a little hard to believe someone as cool as yerself was with a guy like this. Bear in mind, tho, I did not read previous threads about him. I barely keep up with new posts, going back would leave me in historical posts for months. Can you see them at the stadium, K? Like little donut holes or something. His sister wouldn't play into it. But yes, we all believe he has pulled this stunt in order to get me to react. Thing is, if he REALLY did call her and ask him to marry her, he's bought a world of issues with that move! I am pretty surprised he sunk that low as well. I guess because our break-up was so nasty, I didn't realize the depth he had sunk. I've done some stupid crap to get back at a guy, but this takes the cake.
Keridan Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Well, I do give him credit for one thing. It's more original than a nasty text message. I'm just boggled by this. I can't wrap my head around it. I'm trying to imagine the b-movie fantasy in his head of how you come running back. "Oh my wonderful darling, how could I have ever been so foolish!?!" -kissing commences ... you look up startled- "Oh dear me! Who is that girl with the knife...??" A girl that says yes to marriage after two years over the phone doesn't strike me as too stable anyway. He's either now headed for a very interesting marriage or one hell of an education in stalking. How you feeling, Jilly? Is this amusing to you or honestly upsetting? Maybe a bit of both?
pandagirl Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 God, is this guy an idiot? He has the emotional maturity of a peanut. He's also not helping the stereotype that all football players are stupid meatheads!
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 How you feeling, Jilly? Is this amusing to you or honestly upsetting? Maybe a bit of both? Totally a little of both. I felt my stomach drop out when she first told me, then when I really thought about it, I just felt SAD. SAD that this is what it came to. SAD that he was more upset about the break-up than I thought he was and felt the need to act so irrationally. SAD that on some level he thinks this will work to get me back... Like I wrote earlier, I just feel like a move like this is so EFF U to me, that it makes me feel like our entire relationship has been nullified. Yes, we had a far nastier break-up than I expected, but this was unnecessary. It just removes anything good that was left. His ex has ALWAYS had a thing for him (clearly). She's young, dumb, and I'm sure she thinks her dreams just came true. He told me he dumped her because she wanted to get married (when they were 24), and he wanted NO part of that, and said he could never see himself marrying her. Truly (so he claims) hadn't talked to her in years. Incredible. PG - yeah, I thought the SAME thing. Wait, you said PEANUT? Please don't talk about his penis like that. Even if it's true... (ouch!)
jerbear Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Should I send the happy couple a vibrator or something as an engagement gift? Or, is that bad form? No one really answered this question. I say send the couple the vibrator and throw in that new his & her Ky product too. I'm shocked and quite honestly what baller did was interesting. I would say, give it a few years and baller may contact you. I had a few ex's interests that tracked me down after years! They got married and had kids; not something I wanted. Just giving you an heads up. Baller's issues may still comeback years from now.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 No one really answered this question. I say send the couple the vibrator and throw in that new his & her Ky product too. I'm shocked and quite honestly what baller did was interesting. I would say, give it a few years and baller may contact you. I had a few ex's interests that tracked me down after years! They got married and had kids; not something I wanted. Just giving you an heads up. Baller's issues may still comeback years from now. Pfft. I give him a few months, JB! (er, the OTHER JB! lol). I think his tactic was pretty transparent, no? If he goes through with this sham of a wedding, I will truly, truly be shocked. And thanks for answering really the most important question on the post...
Keridan Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Hehe ... well, I gotta say I'm impressed with yer humor about it all, Jilly. It's a crap situation with a real butt-head. You've had a run of luck that would make any woman consider religous vows. Don't give up entirely, tho! There are still some good ones out there when yer ready. As for the peanut thing (no pun intended) .. At least you know that the new wife is headed for a life of disappointment in more ways than one
Nevermind Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Wow. Wow. You seem to have dodged a bullet. This shows that he is immature, manipulative, cold (to the girls feelings) and needy. I don't think this man could have ever made you happy. So... NEXT. You rock, Jilly. Your reaction to this is amazing!
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Hehe ... well, I gotta say I'm impressed with yer humor about it all, Jilly. It's a crap situation with a real butt-head. You've had a run of luck that would make any woman consider religous vows. Don't give up entirely, tho! There are still some good ones out there when yer ready. As for the peanut thing (no pun intended) .. At least you know that the new wife is headed for a life of disappointment in more ways than one Well, considering she is rather squeamish about sex, I am sure his peanut won't be an issue. lol. I guess it's because I really can't believe he would go through with it, K. I mean, he's not bright, granted, and apparently was far more hurt and desperate than I thought, but this is crazy. I mean, if he really wanted to piss me off, he should have waited 6 months before getting engaged. This holds almost no plausibility. And I have fully traversed into bitter, bitter land. So long as Duracell stays in business, Im good.
Keridan Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 With the comments you've made about the sexuality, I have to agree with JerBear. The vibrator may be the most important gift anyone in this gets
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Wow. Wow. You seem to have dodged a bullet. This shows that he is immature, manipulative, cold (to the girls feelings) and needy. I don't think this man could have ever made you happy. So... NEXT. You rock, Jilly. Your reaction to this is amazing! Aw, thanks NM! That's only because I'm not buying it. I'm tweaked that he would scheme such a thing, though! But let me tell ya - if I see wedding pics online in a few months, oh, you will see a MAJOR ass meltdown! And agreed on your assessment of his character. Also what makes me sad about it all...
Keridan Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 I seriously doubt it will happen either. It's a crazy, spastic reaction to realizing he was just being an idiot with you. As for bitter land, I don't blame you. Just wish you better luck is all
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 With the comments you've made about the sexuality, I have to agree with JerBear. The vibrator may be the most important gift anyone in this gets Yes, maybe I should send it to her, and write a note mentioning that as his most recent GF, I found the enclosed to be not only helpful, but a saving grace in many situations. Cheers. Bitter? I need a bitter baller bite about now...
Nevermind Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 I doubt there will be wedding pictures. And if there will be - let me tell you that the divorce papers are already being made by his lawyer. For the presents: I'd suggest a baby blanket for the needy Baller and a Gold pan for the lady.
Keridan Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Yes, maybe I should send it to her, and write a note mentioning that as his most recent GF, I found the enclosed to be not only helpful, but a saving grace in many situations. Cheers. Bitter? I need a bitter baller bite about now... Sounds like a bite is all you get with baller!
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 For the presents: I'd suggest a baby blanket for the needy Baller and a Gold pan for the lady. Oh, that's good. That's REALLY good. Dayum. You have some skills, NM. Seriously. Is it wrong that I am SERIOUSLY considering just this? Keridan - Im working my bitterness like no one's business...
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Sounds like a bite is all you get with baller! Tiny, tiny bite. Barely a mouthful. More like a dot, really.
Keridan Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Don't just consider it, do it! NM has a great suggestion there Might as well have a little fun with the whole thing. (Yes, italics indicate a pun in keri-land )
Nevermind Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 You're welcome. My next idea would have been a magnifying glass (her) and a onesie (him).
Stockalone Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 I just got a call from Ballers sister. She thought I should know before I read about it, that Baller got engaged over the weekend to the woman he dated years before me. She said he totally melted down when I didn't want our relationship to continue. She said his whole family is trying to talk him out of it, as they say he is purely knee-jerk reacting to our break-up. They are totally in shock (so she says), and they feel he is doing this to hurt me. Personally, I'm stunned. I am not so sure if the baller is merely doing this do get you back. Granted, if this is purely an attempt to either get you back or trying to hurt you, then yes, he is an idiot. I guess it depends on how you look at it, but I believe that the baller wanted your relationship to work and was willing to make sacrifices to do so. He took you home to meet his family, he wanted to make a LDR work, he wanted you to be his gf in an exclusive relationship. It's not like a professional athlete has no other options than a LDR. I can understand that you have no interest in a LDR (you have other options too), but you do/did have feelings for him too. Long distance problems are not new for him. He probably is dealing with a lot of those. He might not see his family and friends that often either, depending on where he is from and where he is playing. And while that is different than being in a LD relationship with a woman you love, I bet he doesn't think it is a huge problem. And then you tell him it won't work because of the distance. I am not surprised that he was crushed after you dumped him over a problem that he doesn't consider to be one. There is a chance that he wants to settle down (even while he still has his playing career) and that apparently is not something you would consider. Who knows how many years he has left in him that would have meant LD. His first option (you) is now no longer available and being crushed by the break-up, he simply turned to the woman he knows has no problem with his schedule. He dated her and left her because she wanted to get married and he wasn't. Maybe that was the only reason, and now that he is ready he thought why not give it a chance this time around. That scenario might be a bit far fetched if he really hasn't seen or talked to that woman in over two years. And his family seems to think that this is an attempt to get you back. Maybe it is, coming so soon after your break-up, but what did you expect? That he will just be miserable for the next decade? Do I think it is a smart move on his part? Certainly not, but still, you didn't want him. Why then the need to be mean and calling the other girl a gold digger and him an idiot? And why do you feel that this nullifies everything that was good between you? Could the baller have done anything besides retiring and living close to you that would have made you reconsider staying with him? Should I send the happy couple a vibrator or something as an engagement gift? Or, is that bad form? I would say that it is bad form and uncalled for. You dumped him, so you need to own that decision, unless you made a mistake and want him back.
Art_Critic Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Stockalone.. I think she was venting the fact that she was shocked.. She was just demonizing the ex and his GF.. nothing that most people on LS going thru a breakup haven't done.. She knows she owns the decision she made.. I don't think she thought in a million years though that she would have heard such odd news from his family. and the comments about the vibrator I'm sure she meant those entirely in jest.. Lighten up some dude.. Show some humor and laugh.. it was funny...
Stockalone Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Stockalone.. I think she was venting the fact that she was shocked.. She was just demonizing the ex and his GF.. nothing that most people on LS going thru a breakup haven't done.. I still don't see the need to do it, regardless of how many people do it. She knows she owns the decision she made.. I don't think she thought in a million years though that she would have heard such odd news from his family. and the comments about the vibrator I'm sure she meant those entirely in jest.. Lighten up some dude.. Show some humor and laugh.. it was funny... I don't think it was funny.
Nevermind Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 We all cope differently. Some use anger, some tears, some humour...as long as it is vented here and nobody gets hurt in real life, there is not much to say against it. I also don't think that it disqualifies everything JB and Baller had in the past, but I can see the need to vent her emotions. It's very unlikely that she will send anything, because there is no need to dignify this action if it was done to get back at her, and no need to be cordial (with a real present) because he didn't inform her himself. So why not fantasize a bit in here, feel better and move on more quickly? I understand your position, but as long as JB isn't throwing dildos at them at the ceremony, there is not much harm in letting it out on here.
Author Jilly Bean Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Stockalone.. I think she was venting the fact that she was shocked.. She was just demonizing the ex and his GF.. nothing that most people on LS going thru a breakup haven't done.. She knows she owns the decision she made.. I don't think she thought in a million years though that she would have heard such odd news from his family. and the comments about the vibrator I'm sure she meant those entirely in jest.. Lighten up some dude.. Show some humor and laugh.. it was funny... Thank you, Art! I sincerely appreciate the defense. And you are entirely correct in your assessments...
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