richardcruz Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 So about a month ago my exgf texts me "hey how are you. I was wondering if you still have the ice cooler that I left at your house. Maybe I can come pick it up tomorrow morning" Now keep in mind that we had a really bad breakup and she treated me like crap stuck on the bottom of her shoe when she left me. Obviously I was kind of suprised by this because 1) she texted me 2) who in their right mind would have the audacity to ask for a piece of crap ice chest (that can easily be replaced for 10 bucks) from the guy that she dumped so coldly. Her text kind of took me back and it completely ruined my night out with my friends. I ended up replying "I dont have it anymore" to which she replied "damn. oh well." The truth was that I really still did have it, but I couldn't bear to see her after this long only for her to come and pick up a lousy ice chest. Now lo and behold a month later I receive a text from her again that says "hey, do you still have my camera." I could not believe what my eyes where seeing. About half a year ago I was taking a class that required that I have a camera so she loaned me hers. I had been thinking about shipping it to her as it is worth about 200 dollars or so and its rightfully hers but I just never got around to it. Now don't get me wrong, I did feel like ebaying it but I guess for some reason, despite the fact that she was really messed up to me, I decided to give it back as it was the "right" thing to do. So anyways I reply "yes, I'll ship it to you." She responds "oh okay let me know when your gonna send it." So I go down to fed ex and send it to her. Deep down inside I so wanted to put a small flower or a letter in the box about how I still feel about her but I knew that it would be a big mistake so I just threw in the cam, sealed it, and sent it. I never did text her to let her know that I had sent it because I figured that she was going to get it in a day or two anyways so what was the point. I traced the package a couple days later and I find out that it has been received. No text from her...no "nothing." So here is what I've been wondering. My crazy brain wants to think that somehow she is trying to reach out to me through these actions. However my new mature, experienced, more seasoned, self says that I am analyzing everything way too much and that if she truly had something to say, she would just come out and say it instead of beating around the bush. Was I wrong in not telling her that I had sent it? I don't have anything left of hers in my possesion, so she really doesn't have another reason to contact me anymore. My new self just thinks that she doesn't realize how much she has hurt me and doesn't see a problem in contacting me for these really petty things. I have learned that my emotions are just exactly that; my emotions. And even though I still have this connection (which I wish I no longer did) deep inside of me for her, that doesn't mean that she feels the same way. I am just one half of it. Even if I feel these emotions for her, its just me feeling that and not necessarily her. So my question really is did I handle the situation right? Is my "new self" right in assuming that her text meant nothing more than what they literally said. I was thinking to myself that I should probably text her "Hope you got the cam I sent you. Take care." But nowadays my new self is alot stronger than the tiny voice in the back of my head so its not much of a struggle between the two and I utlimately didn't end up doing it. My old self says "maybe I should just text her that I miss the times when her and I were together".....Yet my new self says "Hey!! earth to moron. If you weren't able to convince her to stick around when you had tears coming out of your eyes and she was standing directly in front of you, what makes you think any kind of words would have any impact now. Is my new self right in handling the situation and not texting at all?
Prodigal Princess Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Is my new self right in handling the situation and not texting at all? YES! You did well sending only non-commital reply texts, and nothing with the camera. You should be proud of yourself! Hopefully you will never hear from this girl again, but if you do, I would not bother replying at all. She is not worthy. I also think the pain she caused you was worth a $200 camera but good on you for taking the high road and sending it back. Good luck to you, richard. You sound like you've got your head screwed on straight! (And believe me, the more you ignore those crazy old-self voices, the quicker they will go away. )
lovelorcet Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 You are over reacting about this whole thing. Be an adult and give her back whatever belongs to her and stop pining over this whole situation. There is no hidden message here she just wants her crap back.
Author richardcruz Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 You are over reacting about this whole thing. Be an adult and give her back whatever belongs to her and stop pining over this whole situation. I like to think that I was being pretty adult-like by giving her back her camera, as it was the most expensive of the two possesions that I still had. As far as the ice chest goes. This is not a large expensive coleman camping ice box or anything like that. It is about 1 foot wide and a foot long. I saw one at walmart the other day for $11.99. I'ts not that I want the damn thing. I was just tying to save myself the heart break from seeing her again, especially for something as small as this. The way I figure it, its been about six months and I'm barley at the point where I am now, so I don't feel the need to send myself back to day one over something that is not really expensive, nor is it limited or rare by any means. I think my well-being is worth more than $11.99..
CaliGuy Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 You are over reacting about this whole thing. Be an adult and give her back whatever belongs to her and stop pining over this whole situation. There is no hidden message here she just wants her crap back. That's a rude statement. You don't know any of that for sure. Richard, I think you're handling things fine. If she really needed the ice chest she would have gotten her own. The camera I understand about. I personally believe she is testing the waters a bit. She wants to know you're still on the hook for her and you did well to not show her you're still pining over her. It's ok to love and miss them. Just don't cave into the breadcrumbs she is tossing you.
lovelorcet Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 I personally believe she is testing the waters a bit. She wants to know you're still on the hook for her and you did well to not show her you're still pining over her. It's ok to love and miss them. Just don't cave into the breadcrumbs she is tossing you. What is the point of wasting so much energy and heart ache over the possibility that this girl might be sending hidden messages by asking for her stuff back? If she wants to come back she will make it clearly known, anything less than that is just not worth thinking about.
CaliGuy Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 What is the point of wasting so much energy and heart ache over the possibility that this girl might be sending hidden messages by asking for her stuff back? If she wants to come back she will make it clearly known, anything less than that is just not worth thinking about. I agree. But he has a point with the silly water cooler. It was a $10.00 cooler and it wasn't necessary to ask for that back, unless she was testing the waters to see if he'd give her camera back. My point is that we don't know her motives. I agree he shouldn't sit around second guessing them either. Live his life, move on. There are much better women for him than her.
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