xaslovegoes Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 My boyfriend of a little over a year and I recently broke up. Its only been a couple of weeks since. we had been friends for years before the relationship, but there were always feelings between us. He is a few years older then me but at pretty much the same point in his life as I am. He took a while to go for anything due to the age difference (we met at work when I was 18 and he was 22, we started dating when i turned 20). We fought a lot towards the end. I made mistakes, I was too quick to get upset about stupid things, I mixed our work relationship too much with our personal relationship and I didn't appreciate what I had all along. We were doing fine, still fighting but there was more good then bad. The problem is I think emotionally with him and after a fantastic week, we had one bad fight and I freaked out and pushed him away for the last time. The next day he broke it off. We see each other and have to work closely so things are awkward and strained. We talked about a week ago and he told me he missed me and still cared about me, and that he didn't want to say it was completely over forever. Tonight we talked again, and he said he misses me and still cares about me. But that he thinks its over because people can't change and we have already tried. But I can honestly say I didn't try, not the way I should have. We are meeting for dinner to talk after work on Tuesday, he's considering possibly starting over, casually talking and the occasional date, working toward a relationship some where down the road. Even if he decides against it, there are so many feelings involved that I think we need to have the talk anyway. I want him to give me the opportunity to show him that there are things I can change. The changes I want to make are for myself as much as they are for him. I need to learn to relax a little bit more, see things for what they are, and think with out freaking out. See more of the good instead of only the bad. And I appreciate that I had exactly what I wanted...I messed it up. Does anyone have any advice on what to do when we talk? What can I do to get the chance I want? Is it hopeless... I know him well enough to know he's running because its hard, he's done because he thinks there is no where left to go. But I know I didn't give it the effort I needed to, and I want that chance. At least if it ends again, I know that I gave my all to the person I love. Any help, anyone who may have been through something similar and has words of wisdom... it would be greatly appreciated.
justaman99 Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Keep the conversation light. Don't say the typical things like I have changed or I will change rather. Tell him it's a good idea we take a step back so we can really take a look at to how you can be better as individuals. Tell him you respect him and understand mistakes were made. Don't force the issue, try not to get emotional and don't act desperate. Nothing will be different. Accept where you both are right now and tell him you understand. Don't beg, plea or say all the stupid typical things people say when they want things to be the way they were because they won't be. Agree with him in whatever he needs to do. -Just
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