bill1971 Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 About 6 months ago I met a girl from England and we both are crazy for each other, but I live in America. We're both set with the intent of finding a way to bring us together. I really want it to work out. We've even started planning our future. Suddenly my work hires this new girl about 2 weeks ago and she's been really flirty with me. I think she wants to go out. She's about 10 years younger than me and cute. I keep thinking about it but I don't think I can go threw with it because I would feel guilty about my girl in England and all the plans we've made for the future. What should I do?
HisLove Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 So a new girl in 2 weeks can turn your head away from somebody you are 'crazy' about? Obviously you're not really committed to your girlfriend or the plans you've made.
Rollercoasterr Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 This is exactly the reason why I was so hesitant to get in an LDR. I just don't understand how you can say you're crazy about someone and then just because a girl is flirty you think that you have to go and ruin a good thing. I'm not saying you are a bad person or anything, you're only human, just like the rest of us, but still...If you were really crazy about this girl then Cindy Crawford could walk into your office and you wouldn't so much as bat an eyelash.
Karyyk Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 And if you're planning with someone for the future and seriously considering having anything to do with "new girl," then you probably should feel guilty. Considering how badly work relationships have a tendency of going (when they're bad, they're really bad), you might want to just side-step that and practice a little self-control. If you don't want to be in the LDR, then get out of it, but don't do something like this to perpetuate it and then hurt the other person more.
awesomeness43 Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 Yeah, i feel you. I'm currently in my first long distance but it is going strong and just like you, we've made plans and talk about our future. She is moving here in 6 months. I guess if you really care you just have to think if just a random female is worth it to mess something good up. I understand the temptation, in every previous relationship i have cheated but i only did because i didn't see potential and it wasn't anything too serious. I always went by the motto that she'll never find out and never thought that i would become the faithful guy so soon. Seeing as how it is a ldr it should be the easiest to cheat but honestly the thought of me with another female disgusts me. Never have i thought at a club that when attractive females come up to me would i say that i have a girlfriend whom love. corny but true. Its really not worth it to the girl especially if its long distance seeing as how they put alot of faith in to you, themselves, and the relationship. They are the ones that sacrifice the most. They constantly get approached every day and they have enough self control and restraint to not do anything though they might be tempted because they love you and have faith that you would do the same. Basically comes down to your conscience and how much you really care/love her. A few hitters on weekends really isnt worth losing the chance to be with the one you love for life.
TMichaels Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 About 6 months ago I met a girl from England and we both are crazy for each other, but I live in America. We're both set with the intent of finding a way to bring us together. I really want it to work out. We've even started planning our future. Suddenly my work hires this new girl about 2 weeks ago and she's been really flirty with me. I think she wants to go out. She's about 10 years younger than me and cute. I keep thinking about it but I don't think I can go threw with it because I would feel guilty about my girl in England and all the plans we've made for the future. What should I do? Grow up? Best, TMichaels
LikeCharlotte Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 I agree with TM. I'd also like to add that guilt is not the feeling that should stop you. You are obviously not ready for a serious commitment. You need to get some self control and figure out what you want.
j_hunt_12 Posted August 8, 2008 Posted August 8, 2008 Yeah, I've been in an LDR for about 10 months now and there have been a lot of great other girls that have come my way in that time. I unfortunately have found myself being kind of attracted to some of them, but I really just had to look at the situation and judge whether I really like these "new girls" or if I just miss physical interaction with my GF, and really, when it comes down to it, none of these girls can even compair to my GF and none of them have anything close to what me and my GF have. I've held strong and had to make hard efforts to really get these girls out of my life, but now I am even more convinced about how much my GF means to me. It takes practice to be able to form friendships with other girls without letting those friendships escalate into chemistry or mutual attraction. It also hard because girls are so much more attracted to guys with GFs... a sad and unfortunate truth. That being said, you might also just like this new girl more. Give it a little time and really try to break yourself from this girl, but if you find that you can't do it, and don't want a relationship with your girl in England, you should do the honorable thing and break up with her... even though there is really no way to soften that blow. The fact that you were already planning your future with this English girl makes it even worse... but she doesn't deserve to be with someone that doesn't love her... it sucks... I've thought over these same things in my relationship because we have also made a few plans for the future and it is a BAD move to start planning... anyways, we are all human... life is rough... peace and good luck
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