lizamcfc Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I'm glad I've found this site with people who are in the same position as me. I was with my boyfriend for 4 years and for the past 2 sure, we've always had a fiery relationship. Lots of arguments. In the last year, they got worse and in the last 6 months, at the end of every argument he would tell me he doesn't love me anymore and he wants to end it, only to go back on his word the next day. About 6 weeks ago we had a huge argument, the biggest we've ever had and I told him I didn't want him back after it. He begged and pleaded with me to give him another chance, and promised he'd change. I took him back and the last month or so has been perfect, just like the old days. I've felt so loved and cared about and I thought he was happy. Then a week ago he told me he doesn't love me anymore, and hasn't for a while and it's over .This time though, he hasn't gone back on his word. I'm devastated. Why couldn't he have done this 6 weeks ago, why did he fight for me? Why didn't he just let me go then? I just feel like he's been so cruel. I can't get over it, I'm in shock. He says he wants to be friends one day, then the next he tells me not to talk to him anymore. I've had to cut all ties with him for now because he hurts me everytime we talk. I'm in turmoil, I just don't know what to do. Please someone help.
zilichservia Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 hi, four years with a guy??!! thts like a marriage! my marriage lasted 4 yrs nearly, and we were going to kill each other! life these days is so singular... im single too, came ot canada alone, calgary, was before in dubai working with my wife. bye bye wife now. finitto! are u interested?
Lovely Disaster Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I'm sorry you're going through this. Don't worry, you will get over this in time.
silvergirl Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 It will all get better with time. It sounds to me like he may have had a girlfriend on the side and until he was confident that she would be there when you two broke up, he kept coming back. You will be much happier without him in the long run, believe me. All the arguments and such, you don't want that drama in your life.
whichwayisup Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Somehow you two got into an unhealthy pattern of breaking up and then getting back together...Him telling you he loves you, then he doesn't, then he does, then he doesn't isn't cool at all. Sadly, his choice to end it, as painful as it is to you, is something you have to accept and try to heal. If he happens to want you back, say no because he's all over the map and WILL hurt you again and again, his recent actions have shown you this. Sorry for your pain, I hope you feel better soon.
Author lizamcfc Posted August 3, 2008 Author Posted August 3, 2008 Well I made a mistake last night....we were both drunk....so we met up...and we had sex... and he was so cold with me...he said,'I didn't come for talking' when I was chatting....And now I feel worse:(
Walk Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 It was just a mistake. I know I've made that one before. You have to accept you made a bad choice and move forward. Now you know he isn't contacting you because he cares about you, he's using you. You deserve better then that. I get the feeling that you feel like you need him in your life. That if he doesn't want you that you think no one will want you. You seem like a great person, but someone who got caught in a situation that has been sapping your self-esteem. The most important thing for you to do right now is to create as much distance and space between you and your ex. Either change all your contact information (phone number, email, etc) or figure out a way to block all incoming contact from him. There are about a billion threads on here regarding No Contact and best ways to stick to it. Do a search of the forum for anything related to No Contact or NC. The only way to get back to a healthy area is by cutting this guy out of your life completely. He's emotionally bad for you. Also, get tested for STDs. Your ex sounds like he's had someone on the side for a while, and even if he hasn't, chances are good he's slept with someone else since the break up. Last thing you need is to get an STD from him. He doesn't care about you, he's shown that in his actions. So YOU have to take care of yourself. Get checked out. And do NOT have sex with him again. A man that is as cruel as this guy is doesn't care if he infects you. He's only goal is self gratification. You're just an object to use at this point. Go get yourself tested, take care of youself, and protect yourself. You deserve a hell of a lot better treatment then you've gotten. Cut anyone from your life that doesn't treat you with respect and decency.
whichwayisup Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Well I made a mistake last night....we were both drunk....so we met up...and we had sex... and he was so cold with me...he said,'I didn't come for talking' when I was chatting....And now I feel worse:( Do the NC now. Block his email and don't answer if he calls again. Sorry that you're hurting.
Author lizamcfc Posted August 3, 2008 Author Posted August 3, 2008 I hear what you're all saying....but I love him so much... and at the minute... I just think, if I keep seeing him, he might remember why he loved me and want me back. I love him so so much...And as to the STD thing... he might be nasty but I don't think he's cheated on me...
torranceshipman Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 Oh no girl, stay away - you're letting him use you as a booty call - that is CERTAINLY not going to remind him of anything good - it'll just mean he loses respect for you and you'll lose respect for yourself. Hes a complete jerk for coming over and sleeping with you when you are feeling so vulnerable and thats certainly not the act of a guy that loves or cares about someone. Do watch the STDs too as you dont know who hes seen over the last few days.
Ally Boo Posted August 3, 2008 Posted August 3, 2008 I have heard of a guy trying desperately to get back with an ex...and once he finally did, he broke up with her because for some reason, he had to be the one that ended the relationship. Maybe that's the case here. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Author lizamcfc Posted August 5, 2008 Author Posted August 5, 2008 Well couldn't do the no contact thing....I tried and he called me...so I spoke to him...he says he misses me.... wants to see me... I agreed but was out so said I'd call him back.. Next thing I know... He's telling me not to call him again, he doesn't want to be friends, it would be too weird...And he's going to change his number.
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