nohname Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 hey everyone, i'm new here. I found this site through a google search about snooping on your partner, i've been seeing this girl for about 1 month in real life and about 3 months on the internet, we're only young she's 20 i'm 21. we met on this game secondlife i originally went on there to start a shop and earn some money but quickly found out that it wasn't worth the time, you can't make much money on there at all. I wanted somethind to do in my spare time if I was bored, but then I met this girl on there and started to talk to her heaps on AIM as well calling her cell phone. we started dating on there I guess, she had been on there for a couple of years I had only been on there for about a month, but last month we met up and are involved in real life together now... i'm totally over the computer game secondlife and want to throw it away but i know she will still be on there, and recently this person sent me a chatlog of my girl flirting with this guy, and it happened more than once. first time it happened i told her i didn't want her flirting back with that guy because he's a total sleaze, i dont like to share any girls i'm going out with.. so anyway after i told her to not flirt with him it happened again.... and someone showed me what was said, it wasn't much but it was still happening, i dont really want to waste time on someone who isn't going to be loyal to me in a relationship, that's the least i expect in a relationship. when she apologised to me for flirting with him so much she was pretty distressed and saying that she will never do it again i don't even like that guy i don't want to talk to him etc etc etc I was like yeah okay whatever i'm just a bit dissappointed that's all she was like it will never happen again. so I was at her place last night and when she went to walmart I checked the computer logs of the conversation she had with him, she basically said that someone had pasted the chat of them two flirting together, said that they will have to be "careful" and that she might ignore him so she was sorry for that, and then they were flirting together again after that in private.... oh and she also called me insecure and jealous.. nice thing to say about your guy to some random sleaze. so I am at a cross roads, i'm over that game because it's full of sleazy old men and swingers and i'm going to quit, but after reading that on her computer I was pretty pissed, I don't know what to do, whether to talk to her about it and tell her that I snooped on her and that she was still flirting with this guy after I her boyfriend told her not to, and i'm sure it will continue if they were doing it straight after that, I don't have time to waste im at college and i'm busy studying, I need someone who can be loyal... in real life your friends and random people at bars don't come up to your girl / guy and start flirting with them or whispering stuff in their ear because they see two people are together so it's off limits, I don't really care if people flirt with her it's her flirting back that gets to me, it's like she's telling that person it's okay to flirt with her and she likes it so she'll do it back....... i'm giving up that stupid game but i'm pretty annoyed about what happened. sorry for the long paper on my relationship but I needed to tell someone, my friends don't know I play that game because they would think I was an absolute loser, i've been on there talking to her while studying and i'm not usually like that.. thanks for any help.
Amacada Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Don't say a word. Grow a set and stop snooping. She told the guy that you are insecure and jealous....from what you've written in your post it looks like there might be some accuracy to her description. I'm not trying to be mean but the more you focus on her behaviour, and not your own, the less attractive you are going to be to her.
borelandkaren Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 U know what? Flirting's flirting, whether online or real life. If you don't like it, tell her (yes I know you have already). If she doesn't comply and has to hide things and lie about it, do you really want her anyway? If she's going to tell people online that you're insecure and jealous and not speak to you about it to your face, this is a form of infidelity. If she doesn't stop, you have to make your choices. good luck
sedgwick Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 If you're snooping on her, especially after only a month, I'd say you *are* insecure and jealous. If I found out my bf was doing that, I would lose attraction for him pretty quickly. In fact, I once ended a 3-year relationship because I found out he read my emails, and to me that is totally unacceptable. You're really young and you've been together for a matter of weeks. I don't think it's a "relationship" yet. You should be in the very early stages of getting to know each other, and it should still be casual. If you're snooping on her already, you WILL lose her.
critter909 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 You may be jealous and insecure like some of the other posters said but that doesn't make her behavior right either. Especially since you have asked her to stop. This is so early in your relationship she should still be flirting with YOU, I dont' see how there could already be someone else she is looking at. My advice would be to get out of this now before your feelings really get hurt.
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