HotTamale Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Hi to all readers and here's my story. I am currently 22 and so is my boyfriend that i am so in love with. i been with him on and off since age 16 up until now. i met him at 13, so yea u could say we grew up together. but to get to the story, my mother hates him so so much! for what reason, i could guess but would probably just tell on him to get him even more hated. well at 16 yo he got caught sneakin out my window by a neighbor who told my mom. on my 18th birthday, i told her i was goin to get a tattoo (and NO not of his name) and he was goin to pay for it, but he got so anxious he decided to get one and we ended up paying for our own....mom found out that I paid for my birthday gift and that is what started her hatred against my bf. He's been on his own since 19 and got his first apartment at 20. he's has a good job but no car, i have a car, no job, but a jr in college. he doesnt do well with cars and says that is to the least of his worries. my bf pays his bills on time and is never late to work. well on my end, i always drive to see him, pick him up from his house and go elsewhere to hang out. in june, i was invited to go on a trip wit his family but didnt know i had to drive my own car. i was told that food and hotel was all paid for and that i was just goin to go half on gas...i thought to myself, well darn, i thought if someone is invited-they really dont have to come out of their pockets. so i told my mother that i was goin out of town and that i wouldnt have to come out my pockets that much. so when i returned from the trip she found out that i paid for the gas twice...Man was she furious.So recently she threatened to take me off all of her insurance if i dont leave him alone. she also stated that he is using me for my car and if i continue to put up with him then he's goin to physically abuse me if i decide to stay in the relationship. she continuesly calls me a fool for settling for less (in her words)..my freshman yr in college, i cheated on him twice, he never left me and forgave him and yes im thankful. he highly supports that im in college and wants me to go to grad school and encourages me to keep my grades up. we have talked about settling down when i graduate and having kids. he continuesly tells me hes in love with me and i return the gesture. i dont think hes using me, i just think that everyone is not fortunate to get multiple things at once like how i am. The prob im complaining about is that im 22 darn years old. I have no criminal record what so ever, graduated from highschool with a 3.0 and im doin well in college and have dreams of goin to grad school. but why wont she let me make my own choices and grow up? im getting tired of having to ask her for things, im ready to be on my own. why doesnt she like my bf? i get so frustrated, cuz his family adores and respects me, y cant my parents do the same? after all they dont have to live my life.
quankanne Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 she may be looking from her own experience or that of someone close to her, and she feels that you dating the same guy for past X years without dating anyone else is a mistake because it doesn't guarantee a successful future relationship with that person. And because she realizes that you and your BF will change, but you can't see that from your end of things. frankly, I'm a bit concerned: Why are you even with this guy if you've cheated on him twice? It sounds more like a security blanket kind of relationship that you can keep going back to because he's a decent guy who will do right by you, than anything else.
lovestruck818 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 She probably feels you are too good for him. I was in a similar situation at your age. I was 23 at the time and was dating someone who was 28. I had a degree and a very good job. I was living at home as was he, but I was saving money so I could one day buy a house (which I just did). He wasn't working b/c he just "didn't feel like it", yet always had money b/c his parents gave it to him. My mom hated him as well b/c she thought I was better than him. I had my life together whereas he really didn't. I'm not saying your man doesn't have it all together, but the idea that you are in college and want to go to grad school shows your mom that you want the most out your life and that you are ambitious enough to follow through and chase it. She may not get the same sense of ambition from him.
Author HotTamale Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 well Quankanne, i was a freshman in college and things got outta hand, if you know what i mean...it wasnt nuthin but sex wit X and nuthin more. and my b/f knows that. but im a changed woman now and i know deep down that i hurt him greatly in the past. but promised me i have shown that i can be trusted once more since then. and Lovestruck, i figured the same thing, maybe she does think im too good, hell i know that are her thoughts when i speak of his name. but y? y cant i grow up and make my own decisions? why strongly judge my social life, after all i am 22....so do you think i should just move on? or should i just give our relationship a lengthy break until i finish school, well undergrad that is.
lovestruck818 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 well Quankanne, i was a freshman in college and things got outta hand, if you know what i mean...it wasnt nuthin but sex wit X and nuthin more. and my b/f knows that. but im a changed woman now and i know deep down that i hurt him greatly in the past. but promised me i have shown that i can be trusted once more since then. and Lovestruck, i figured the same thing, maybe she does think im too good, hell i know that are her thoughts when i speak of his name. but y? y cant i grow up and make my own decisions? why strongly judge my social life, after all i am 22....so do you think i should just move on? or should i just give our relationship a lengthy break until i finish school, well undergrad that is. You have to do what your heart tells you to do...for you. Your mom will love you regardless. if you want tp stay with him, do it, if not, don't. Personally you can probably do better but that's just my opinion...although who am I to judge? I don't know this guy. Unfortunately, I don't think there ever comes a time in a our lives where our parents will just shut up and let us make our own chouces. I'm 26 and I still get it from them...and I don't even live with them.
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