An Extremely Complicated Love Triangle....

[classicgirl4]

Before anyone reads this, please be aware: this story and request for advice is not for those who are only going to give me smug advice. If all you have to say is that I should not have gotten into this situation in the first place, please don’t.

It all started when I transferred to another college. I met Robby through a friend, and immediately there was a connection. Strangely enough, we kept our secret steamy sex, late night movie watching and frequent road trips all hidden from my roommate who was sort of in love with him. He had zero interest in her, and made it explicitly clear on multiple occasions. Maybe we kept it on the down low to keep it exciting. He was so mysterious, reserved, aloof yet intimate that I thought he couldn’t possible be interest in more than casual sex with me. We had many conversations concerning friends with benefits where I pretended I was cool with it and so did he. But we both voiced our concern about future heartbreak that could come from it. Ironically, he thought I didn’t want anything more with him. He was crazy about me, and I was crazy about him. And so it went from august to October, this game where we each thought the other was just in it for the sex when in reality we were falling for one another. He stupidly wanted to look cool and see if I would become jealous, so started bringing up that he was talking to other girls (he wasn’t, and I got jealous, ridiculous I know.) Finally one night after going out and drinking, I decided to just go home, and drunkenly IMed him. I flat out asked him if he would consider me anything more serious than a hook up. He said no. After that point, I no longer considered him to have any place in my romantic future. We were still friends, part of a small circle, and we didn’t seem to have too much trouble not hooking up. Although it was strange, because sometimes he tried to start things, and I simply didn’t let them get anywhere. I never brought up that conversation again, and neither did he. I was too embarrassed and vulnerable, feeling like the one who was being used. From that point on, I never thought of Robby as someone I would date.

Two weeks later I attended a party. I knew Robby was going to be there, and just wanted something to do. So my roommate and I went, and started heavily drinking. Then Robby showed up, with his brother Kenny. Most of the night is a blur. But there was magic. That I remember well. Kenny and I just had it, we were magical. We had one of those two hour drunken conversations, followed by heavy flirting bordering on the edge of heavy petting which turned into the best sex I’ve had in my life. Robby was at the party, saw the flirting, and I’m pretty sure he was pissed off, but neither Kenny nor I noticed. At one point, Kenny asked if there was something going on between Robby and I. I truthfully replied, no, there was nothing going on between us anymore. Unfortunately there was a miscommunication between the two brothers. Robby mentioned something to Kenny once during the entire time we were fooling around, and he wasn’t very specific either. To make matters worse, Kenny remembers Robby mentioning a girl he was hooking up with but nothing more.

Kenny lived in the next state over, but after the party we began talking frequently. Just a few days after the party, Kenny asked Robby if he could give me a call. Robby said sure. We met up half way a few weeks later; I had the most romantic weekend, in my sisters vacant apartment in the middle of December in the mountains, with Kenny. In the following month, we met several more times and talked every day. Over Christmas the brothers went away with their parents. There wasn’t much communication.

I went away for the new year, and by chance, Robby and I emailed one another. I asked why he had been so different the past month. At first he is reluctant to mention anything. He says he cant tell me, or he will be a bad brother. After pushing a bit, he admits that he is crazy about me, and has been since we met. When I come home, Robby picks me up from the airport. Kenny is back at his school, and something comes over me. What I had pined after, this incredibly unique, sexy sultry guy was suddenly so much closer to me. I wasn’t being manipulative, I really wanted him. I was finally able to sit next to him, brush against his hand without that frantic, scared feeling that he wasn’t interested in me. I knew he was. So for a few days, we were inseparable. We had long conversations, about how stupid we were. We talked about how if we had simply taken that scary first step into the unknown, we could have dove into something great. We has dirty drunken sex, napped naked together.

It is at this point that I realize, I made my first of many many terrible mistakes. But if you knew me, you would not be surprised. I have difficulties saying no to things I really want but that I know are bad for me.

The thing is, Kenny had bought me a plane ticket to fly out to see him the weekend after I got home. I had to tell Robby. I told robby several days before I left, and we went back to our awkward selves. I went to visit Kenny, and it was wonderful. A perfect weekend with a lover. Then I get back home. And it starts again. Since Kenny and I are not technically dating, I selfishly go on being inseparable, practically dating robby. Kenny is aware that I am spending a lot of time with robby, but not that we are sleeping together. Although we have a great time, we don’t ignore the fact that I still talk to Kenny, and am considering going out with him. After all this talking, it turns out that Robby didn’t say anything back in December because he thought Kenny and I would fizzle out and he and I could naturally start over. And he thought Kenny would resent him if he got in the way. Two weeks after I return from my trip, Kenny comes to visit. Robby made it clear that I have to make a decision by the time he comes, so I do. I choose Kenny. I have strong feelings for both of them I really do, but Kenny made me want to be a better person. I cared so much about each of them, but in the end the one I wanted to be with was Kenny.

Kenny and I became official that weekend, and for the remainder of the semester, we travel frequently to see one another and make the best effort we can to make the long distance work. Robby and I kept hanging out in the beginning. He never stayed over again, and besides him trying to kiss me while he was drunk once, we never did anything again. We still watched movies and tv together, but there was always an intense conversation that followed about everything that had happened or what might happen in the future. He slowly went through the stages of loss: anger, grief, whatever the rest of them are. He became more bitter and pissed off every week as kenny’s and mine relationship became more and more realistic. I secured a summer internship in the city where Kenny was living for the summer. And Kenny had decided to finish coursework in the city I was going to school in (his hometown, and where he oringinally went to school). About a month before I left for the summer, I couldn’t handle his constant anger, rage and bitterness. We weren’t going to be able to keep our fading friendship into the summer or next fall, so I decided that I should cut it off.

If you made it this far, I appreciate your time in reading this. In actuality, it is a somewhat shortened version. I am living with Kenny, and things are amazing. I love him so much. But Robby and Kenny don’t speak, and haven’t seen each other since Christmas. Robby is threatening to be violent the next time he see’s him. And Kenny doesn’t think he did anything wrong. Both of them have relentlessly informed me that even if I ended it with both of them back at Christmas, this fight between them would have been going on. Robby claims he betrayed him in a way that no brother ever should, Kenny thinks Robby lost his window when he asked him if he could talk to me. Neither is showing signs of backing down. And Im pretty sure their entire family is about to find out about everything. Is there anything I can do to help fix things between them?

[xpaperxcutx]

Wow, just wow. You slept with both brothers. What do you expect? If the family finds out, they'll blame you. The parents might have a different view of you from then on.

 

If you want to be the better person in this ( as a way of redemption) you break up with Kenny and avoid both brothers. But at the rate you're going, I doubt you really want to.

[classicgirl4]

Ok. Well obviously that falls under the first disclaimer. If all you are going to do is judge me, on something I completely realize is a horrible situation, then please keep it to yourself. I didn't mention that their mother found out EVERYTHING. Robby told her. She thinks, as do all our friends, that we all made mistakes, but Robby, who had become obsessive about the entire situation, needs to let it go.

 

And you are right, I really don't want to break up with Kenny. As time goes on it gets harder and harder to do. I've spoken to both of them, and they both say that breaking up with him wont change anything.

[mental_traveller]

If you get involved in tricky situations, don't be surprised when have to deal with the fallout.

 

IMO there is no easy way to handle this situation. Just suck it up and try to muddle through as best you can. And in future, try not to f*ck brothers