Pedigree Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 When a girl says "You're like a brother", that's a sign that the dude's been friendzoned. On the other hand, when a dude says "She's like a sister", what are the odds that it's just a coping mechanism with the fact that he still has some feelings for a girl that's beyond his reach (eg. girl just sees him as friend, girl already has boyfriend)? Just something on my mind after hearing my friend said "I don't regret anything, she's more like a sister to me" but seeing his eyes saying otherwise when my friends and I were telling him that he could've and should've taken a shot at a girl he had a crush on. Having never responded in this way to being friendzoned, I got curious and would like to see what the wise owls at LS have to say.
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Guys don't think about having sex with or kissing their sister.. so when a guy says " She is just like a sister " the reality is that he doesn't see it going where guys want it to go.. He isn't attracted to her that way.. he looks at her like a sister.. meaning he won't have sex with her.. Of course this it just my opinion .. I could be very wrong.. I really don't think a guy uses the sister move as a " coping " mechanism.. Sorry.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I'm with A/C. When I asked my cheating ex-husband if he loved me anymore, he said "I do, but more like a sister." Note the "ex" part in the previous sentence...kiss of death in a relationship as far as I'm concerned.
Author Pedigree Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 What I'm saying is because he has feelings, he uses the "sister" move to help not see her in a romantic way. I'm talking about it in that context.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I guess I would argue that he doesn't really have feelings... Sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding.
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 What I'm saying is because he has feelings, he uses the "sister" move to help not see her in a romantic way. I'm talking about it in that context. I don't think he would do this.. Feelings and wanting to bone are also two different things.. A guy can have feelings for a girl he doesn't look at in a sexual/relationship kind of way.. I just think the girl is friendzoned
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I guess I would argue that he doesn't really have feelings... Sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding. I read it like you do as well CF.. UI don't think he has those type of feelings if he is using the sister analogy.
Author Pedigree Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 What I'm saying is, my friend said "She's like a sister" but I can tell by the way he's behaving and his increased drinking that he doesn't mean it; that he still has feelings. I then asked myself what are the odds that he (or other dudes) for that matter use the "sister" excuse to help them not see the girls they are not able to get but still have feelings in a romantic way. Sure, if I were to say "She's like a sister", I mean it, I don't and won't see the girl in question as otherwise. But I want to know if there if there are people who use this excuse to cope.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Well, it sounds like you are adamant that he really does like her. Are you hoping he does or something? I just wonder why you are so invested in dissecting this particular phrase. If you are sure that he has feelings for her, then what he says isn't really going to matter to you, is it?
Author Pedigree Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, this friend and I are not the same person. Come on, I'm already protected by anonymity, why would I need to say that it's my friend's problem. I'm just being insistent because my question has not being answered. I take the point that when a guy says the "sister" line, he means just that. I've done that to. But can it be that a guy uses that line to help him see a girl he likes in a non-romantic way?
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Oh, I think I understand what you're asking now. You are asking if he is saying "I just like her as a sister" because he is trying to convince himself that he likes her only as a friend?
nopainnogain Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I have a friend that im interested in. She says I remind her of her brother which is a good thing But have I been friendzoned?
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