bigmanpayne Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 i posted recently about me wanting to date someone at work and though many said dont do it, i did anyway. she is OK. neither of us wants a serious relationship which is cool. we have gone to lunch, bowling with her friends (i took my sisters), and gone for a walk together and we are supposed to go out on saturday. my problem is her best friend. she keeps hating on me. i dated another friend of her best friend before (the new girl and my ex werent friends, only knew of each other through their friend) and she always hated on me then too. she keeps trying to fix my new girl up with other guys, keeps telling her bad stuff about me, telling her to stop talking to me, etc. it dawned on me the other day that this best friend likes me! i think she is jealous. we were talking and i asked her about this guy i thought she liked... she say, "just because i talk to him doesnt mean i like him," i said "you're right, i mean you talk to me, right?" she then says, "how do you know that i don't like you?" right there is when it hit me. that is the problem: SHE LIKES ME! i am shocked that i didn't notice it sooner, but now what do i do? i doubt that my new girl will keep our plans on Saturday, especially with her friend constantly giving her reasons not to talk to me. what do i do? is there anything i can do? do i just deal with it and hope for the best? has anyone ever faced this best friend problem before? is there a remedy out there? help please!
Virgo1982 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 i posted recently about me wanting to date someone at work and though many said dont do it, i did anyway. she is OK. neither of us wants a serious relationship which is cool. we have gone to lunch, bowling with her friends (i took my sisters), and gone for a walk together and we are supposed to go out on saturday. my problem is her best friend. she keeps hating on me. i dated another friend of her best friend before (the new girl and my ex werent friends, only knew of each other through their friend) and she always hated on me then too. she keeps trying to fix my new girl up with other guys, keeps telling her bad stuff about me, telling her to stop talking to me, etc. it dawned on me the other day that this best friend likes me! i think she is jealous. we were talking and i asked her about this guy i thought she liked... she say, "just because i talk to him doesnt mean i like him," i said "you're right, i mean you talk to me, right?" she then says, "how do you know that i don't like you?" right there is when it hit me. that is the problem: SHE LIKES ME! i am shocked that i didn't notice it sooner, but now what do i do? i doubt that my new girl will keep our plans on Saturday, especially with her friend constantly giving her reasons not to talk to me. what do i do? is there anything i can do? do i just deal with it and hope for the best? has anyone ever faced this best friend problem before? is there a remedy out there? help please! I don't know if you should think too much of it. She may feel undesirable because you have been with two girls she's acquainted with. Also, do you want a female who would try to c0ck-block you simply because she wanted you, but didn't step up when she could have? If you do continue to see the girl you're seeing now, you either need to make her aware of the situation or have a good talk with the hater-turned-opportunity.
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 I don't know if you should think too much of it. She may feel undesirable because you have been with two girls she's acquainted with. Also, do you want a female who would try to c0ck-block you simply because she wanted you, but didn't step up when she could have? If you do continue to see the girl you're seeing now, you either need to make her aware of the situation or have a good talk with the hater-turned-opportunity. the best friend is HOT - no doubt, but i dont think i could ever be with her. she just isn't my type. plus it would be weird since i have dated 2 of her friends. you're right. her first friend moved away - waaayyy away and they dont even talk anymore. if she liked me she had like 2-3 months to say something. i only went out with the first friend a few times anyway. i really like this new girl though and i am scared that the best friend is simply going to mess things up for me.
Virgo1982 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 the best friend is HOT - no doubt, but i dont think i could ever be with her. she just isn't my type. plus it would be weird since i have dated 2 of her friends. you're right. her first friend moved away - waaayyy away and they dont even talk anymore. if she liked me she had like 2-3 months to say something. i only went out with the first friend a few times anyway. i really like this new girl though and i am scared that the best friend is simply going to mess things up for me. So what do you think is the better of three options: 1. Say nothing and try your luck. 2. Make the girl aware of the situation. 3. Put the hater in her place (in the sweetest way of course:rolleyes:)
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 So what do you think is the better of three options: 1. Say nothing and try your luck. 2. Make the girl aware of the situation. 3. Put the hater in her place (in the sweetest way of course:rolleyes:) saying anything to either of them will probably be dangerous. i am leaning towards just saying nothing and seeing what happens. i am thinking that our plans on saturday will probably be cancelled somehow because of this best friend. this situation sucks.
Virgo1982 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 saying anything to either of them will probably be dangerous. i am leaning towards just saying nothing and seeing what happens. i am thinking that our plans on saturday will probably be cancelled somehow because of this best friend. this situation sucks. Well, if that's the case, who needs her anyway. She should make her own decisions. Though I would want to know my friend is an azzhole. Good luck with whatever happens. You seem to really like this girl and I hope it works out. (Something her f*cking friend should probably say)
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 A variation on Option Two... Fortunately, guys are expected to be a little dense, so you can work that in your favour. Call your girl up during the week, right after dinner. The timing is key: through the week, it's less likely the friend will be over for dinner, and if you do it right after dinner, there is less of a chance she's left the house or her friend has come over. So, when you're on the phone with her, during the regular chat, you confirm "so, we still on for Saturday?". That's not really part of clearing the matter up, but since you're on the phone anyway, you might as well check, right? Now, here's where the perception of naivety works in your favour. Openly say to her, "your friend's been busting my balls a lot lately, but she won't tell me why. I try to be nice to her, and I don't think I've done anything bad to her...have I? After all, I really like you, and I know you two are close friends; if I'm doing something that's gonna cause friction between you two, I'd like to know so I can stop doing it". Or however you want to put it. It'll make you look like the good guy since you're concerned about how her friend's 'hatred' of you will affect their friendship (as opposed to how it will affect your relationship with your girl), and it'll show you just how much she knows about the situation. Yes, she may think you're cute but not too sharp, but you're a guy - she probably already thinks that anyway. I tell ya, nothing's worse than a best friend running interference. From what I've seen, girls are much more likely to listen to their best friend's opinion than guys are. Having a girl's best friend who hates you can be an awfully tough nut to crack. I wish you the best of luck!
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 A variation on Option Two... Fortunately, guys are expected to be a little dense, so you can work that in your favour. Call your girl up during the week, right after dinner. The timing is key: through the week, it's less likely the friend will be over for dinner, and if you do it right after dinner, there is less of a chance she's left the house or her friend has come over. So, when you're on the phone with her, during the regular chat, you confirm "so, we still on for Saturday?". That's not really part of clearing the matter up, but since you're on the phone anyway, you might as well check, right? Now, here's where the perception of naivety works in your favour. Openly say to her, "your friend's been busting my balls a lot lately, but she won't tell me why. I try to be nice to her, and I don't think I've done anything bad to her...have I? After all, I really like you, and I know you two are close friends; if I'm doing something that's gonna cause friction between you two, I'd like to know so I can stop doing it". Or however you want to put it. It'll make you look like the good guy since you're concerned about how her friend's 'hatred' of you will affect their friendship (as opposed to how it will affect your relationship with your girl), and it'll show you just how much she knows about the situation. Yes, she may think you're cute but not too sharp, but you're a guy - she probably already thinks that anyway. I tell ya, nothing's worse than a best friend running interference. From what I've seen, girls are much more likely to listen to their best friend's opinion than guys are. Having a girl's best friend who hates you can be an awfully tough nut to crack. I wish you the best of luck! she's not busting my balls to my face. to my face she is nice and sweet. she tells my new girl things about me. it's so stupid, and you are right this is a tough nut to crack for guys. i am going to try to say something like you suggested 2morrow. you gave a nice situation in which to bring it up, i have been trying to think of a way to approach her about it.
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