Author LoveLace Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 Just got the confirm that he doesn't know I have his number...
KinAZ Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Tell him to ask K if it's OK for you to have it. And then... call K.
Author LoveLace Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 Tell him to ask K if it's OK for you to have it. And then... call K. I know he won't do this for me...he sees it as "high school" to say anything to him at all. But I'm not stressing over this part too much, we're all friends and I don't think K would think much about this guy giving me the number. Once I explained it, anyway. Getting nerve is my problem...
Art_Critic Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Down a shooter and 45 secs later you call and arrange a date... Simple.. Just do it.. you are on stable ground and not doing anything creepy..
KinAZ Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 I don't think it's grade school at all. Even when giving out a friend's number for business reasons, while it's not required, we still call the friend to let him/her know that one of our friends will be calling about something. I'm not sure about your age group, but I don't know anyone who would even give someone my email address without asking or telling me. It gives the callee a heads up, and makes the caller a little more comfortable, because he/she knows that the call was expected. BUT, if you're all friends, and you say you think that your friend said something to K about your interest... Then K should hopefully take some of the pressure off when you call. Have you figured out something short and sweet to say yet?
Kamille Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Yup I'm with Art that since she has the number and she's still intrigued and would like to get to know him, she should give him a call. I even think she should go straight to the point and ask him out on a date. Sure he'll know she's intrigued, but that doesn't mean she's in love. It doesn't mean he doesn't have to chase because even though she asked him out, it doesn't mean he's earned the title of relationship worthy yet. She just wants to get to know him. Something casual, something that she was planning on doing anyways, but on her own (like go see a concert, go for a run in a cool park or whatever). That's what I would do. Oh no wait, that's what I just did.
Prodigal Princess Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 I think, given how nervous you are about contacting him, it would be a mistake to call. The conversation will potentially be awkward because you'll be overthinking everything. Just send him a short text, something like, "Hi K, this is L. Got your number from X. Was great to see you at the party. Perhaps we could catch up for a drink sometime next week?" Don't overanalyse this too much, just send the text. Guys don't read too much into all this anyway.
Author LoveLace Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 I don't think it's grade school at all. Even when giving out a friend's number for business reasons, while it's not required, we still call the friend to let him/her know that one of our friends will be calling about something. I'm not sure about your age group, but I don't know anyone who would even give someone my email address without asking or telling me. It gives the callee a heads up, and makes the caller a little more comfortable, because he/she knows that the call was expected. BUT, if you're all friends, and you say you think that your friend said something to K about your interest... Then K should hopefully take some of the pressure off when you call. Have you figured out something short and sweet to say yet? My age group is 30's. I dont' think my source would have given me the number if he didn't think that K would be flattered, at least. I do wish he would say something for me, but he's basically refusing to do that so I'm on my own. It's probably better that way. I just figured I'd say, I've been wanting to ask you out for a while. Part of me wishes I didn't take the number, and told the source to talk to K first, or perhaps just give K MY number instead...too late for that, oh well.
Art_Critic Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Give me the number.. I'll freaking call him for you
Kamille Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Give me the number.. I'll freaking call him for you DO it! dooooo iittttt!!!!
KinAZ Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 My age group is 30's. I dont' think my source would have given me the number if he didn't think that K would be flattered, at least. I do wish he would say something for me, but he's basically refusing to do that so I'm on my own. It's probably better that way. I just figured I'd say, I've been wanting to ask you out for a while. Part of me wishes I didn't take the number, and told the source to talk to K first, or perhaps just give K MY number instead...too late for that, oh well. Then he probably knows something at least. Try to take comfort in that! If he knows you're interested, and you seem a little nervous, he'll understand, and probably try to help you along. I say no text because, I did text, and it didn't go the way I anticipated. I thought the text would be short and sweet, but he started asking questions and such, and it... just went somewhere else. I was told to call but I was too chicken. When I was on the phone with him before that, I chickened out because I didn't just come out with it. Just try something like "Hi, K this is L, I got your number from blah blah blah. I can't talk long, but I was wondering if you might be free for lunch saturday." Or something like that. LOL, I say "I can't talk long, but" because that gets you right to the point. If you're in a hurry, that's a reason to get right down to the nitty gritty, without smoothly working up to asking him out. Or you could just tell him that you'd like to go out with him sometime, and give him your number and tell him to call you when he's free. Whatever you do, I say call and make it short and sweet.
Keridan Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Yeah, just post the darn number. We'll take care of the rest for you
Mahatma Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 It depends if you think he likes you too. If a girl who I was neutral towards (as in I could date her, but haven't really put too much thought into it) texted me without me giving her my number, I would definitely be turned off. If I was attracted to her, then it would be as if God helped me out. Your BEST idea would be to talk to him in person and "re-get" his number from him. Second best would be to call him. Third, you could take your chance texting him.
Author LoveLace Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 It depends if you think he likes you too. If a girl who I was neutral towards (as in I could date her, but haven't really put too much thought into it) texted me without me giving her my number, I would definitely be turned off. If I was attracted to her, then it would be as if God helped me out. Your BEST idea would be to talk to him in person and "re-get" his number from him. Second best would be to call him. Third, you could take your chance texting him. Well I can't say I think he likes me in a way that he thinks about it a lot or anything, because we don't see each other very often. But when I do see him it seems like we really enjoy talking with each other, and I just get the feeling there's some chemistry there that could stand to be explored...I DID have the idea to talk to him in person once, but a month or so went by before I saw him again, at the party the other night, and we only got to talk very briefly before he left and several friends were right around us. If I knew I'd be seeing him again sometime soon, I'd try again, but there's no way of predicting when that might be...it could be another month from now. So just calling is the best bet I think. But now I want to wait a few more days because what about the part where he might say, "Ok when do you want to go out?"...that would be hard for me to answer at the moment, because my schedule isn't looking very open for a week or so. I don't think I want to call until I can plan something without saying "Um...well...I can pencil you in on Aug. 21...."
Art_Critic Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 But now I want to wait a few more days because what about the part where he might say, "Ok when do you want to go out?"...that would be hard for me to answer at the moment, because my schedule isn't looking very open for a week or so. I don't think I want to call until I can plan something without saying "Um...well...I can pencil you in on Aug. 21...." Chicken....
KinAZ Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Hahaha, you don't have to call to set a date, but just letting him that you want to go out will do. You can tell him that you'll be pretty busy for the next week or two if he asks specifics, but just let him know that you're interested, and that he should call you etc etc. Simply making him aware of your interest might be enough.
Author LoveLace Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 Chicken.... .. Bock..Bock...Bock... :laugh:
imbewildered Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 It goes both ways, so I agree call him and get the upper hand. "...the upper hand" ? Yeah do that - make power plays and be competitve from day one. That should draw him closer. We guys get hot for "strong and empowered" women who pull this. Sheesh - some more of the crap advice on this board ..
Author LoveLace Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 "...the upper hand" ? Yeah do that - make power plays and be competitve from day one. That should draw him closer. We guys get hot for "strong and empowered" women who pull this. Sheesh - some more of the crap advice on this board .. Are you saying that if I call and ask him out that it would make me look "strong and empowered" and turn him off, or are you just speaking about the "upper hand" part? I'm not exactly looking for an "upper hand", just a date...
Author LoveLace Posted August 1, 2008 Author Posted August 1, 2008 What are you waiting around for exactly? Your own hand written invitation designed by the guy you wish to date? Not at all. I'm just waiting for when I really feel ready. I'm at a stressful time right now with work and school; that should improve in the next week or so. I'd rather call at a time when I don't feel or seem strung out and worn out.
imbewildered Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 Are you saying that if I call and ask him out that it would make me look "strong and empowered" and turn him off, or are you just speaking about the "upper hand" part? I'm not exactly looking for an "upper hand", just a date... I am ridiculing the idea that aiming for "the upper hand " is decent or even helpful . The phrase indicates a competitive , power seeking mindset. That is a VERY bad look in a woman. Some guys here have been in relationships with power seeking women. They are counter productive at the least and toxic at worst. Intimate relationships NEVER work well with women as the dominant one. MY suggestion is to revert to a technique that women have used for centuries and that is to "position" yourself when the opportunity arises for him to notice you. Calling him directly MAY work. I work go out with a woman who did that BUT i would be wary .
Author LoveLace Posted August 2, 2008 Author Posted August 2, 2008 I totally understand where you are coming from bewildered. I haven't been planning on going a route like that though...just a phone call...and if that makes him judge me as trying to be "power seeking", that would be jumping the gun.
Art_Critic Posted August 2, 2008 Posted August 2, 2008 By the time you call him he will have dated and married another and had 2 kids.. Why haven't you called him ?.. no excuses
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