LoveLace Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Most of ya know I've been nervous as heck about asking this guy out. I have his number but he doesn't know I have it because a mutual friend gave it to me. I just saw him the other night for the 1st time in a while but I still like him...anyway...I thought about texting "Hi, K, this is Lovelace, I wanted you to have my number if you'd like to hang out sometime!" Yay or nay?
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 No way... You have never spoken to him on the phone yet.. You call him.. not text him.. Spoken words are valuable.. text written on a phone say nothing that a person can hear and hold on to.. He should be able to at the very least hear the tone in your voice and maybe spend a few mins cutting up on the phone with you. Call the guy...
Rooster_DAR Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 It goes both ways, so I agree call him and get the upper hand.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Not doing anything is chicken. I am sure he will not mind if you text him, phone him, sent him a secret message, or asked him face to face. DNR
OpenBook Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Don't call him. Don't text him. Let him chase you. If he doesn't, don't call him or text him - move on. Just my two cents based on my experience. Men do not like to be chased... regardless what they say. It always works better when the man does all the initiating in the beginning.
Keridan Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Text him if you can't make yourself call. Call if you can. Let the boy know you want to be hunted. He may be interested, he may not, but there is no way of getting anywhere if he doesn't even have a way to contact you. Good luck!
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Don't call him. Don't text him. Let him chase you. If he doesn't, don't call him or text him - move on. Just my two cents based on my experience. Men do not like to be chased... regardless what they say. It always works better when the man does all the initiating in the beginning. He doesn't know she has the number.. and he doesn't know she is interested so she can't sit back and wait to be chased or hunted.. She has to make the first move in this scenario.. unless she goes thru the friend again and makes her move that way
OpenBook Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 He doesn't know she has the number.. and he doesn't know she is interested so she can't sit back and wait to be chased or hunted.. She has to make the first move in this scenario.. unless she goes thru the friend again and makes her move that way Sorry, I'm standing by my post. It never works when the girl contacts the guy first. I have no idea why. It just never does.
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Although it'll put me in the minority, I disagree with pretty much everyone here but DNR and AC. As you mentioned, he doesn't know you have his number yet. Some guys get very defensive when they get a call from someone who they didn't know had their number. Not only might it put him in a negative mood when you call, but there may be backlash to the mutual friend as well. However, there is a way around this. My opinion? First choice would be to talk to him face-to-face and ask him for his number. Even though you have it, that'll make sure he knows you have it, and therefore, it's okay to call him. If you're too nervous about asking him in person, there is an alternative. Get the mutual friend to do a little recon for you first. Have him/her talk to the guy and say "hey, K. Lovelace was asking about you a lot lately. Is it cool if I give her your number?". If he says yes, then your friend lets you know it's cool, and you call. If he says no, then you probably know what the answer to your question would've been anyway. Two birds with one stone. Men do not like to be chased... regardless what they say. It's not that we don't like to be chased. The problem is that, unlike women, men are so rarely chased, we don't know what to do when it happens. It's literally like a deer in the headlights. Deer aren't used to Chevy's, so they do the same thing to the truck that we do when being pursued; we all stand there, staring blankly, thinking "what the f___ is that?". By the time we figure it out, the Chevy (or woman) is long gone, and we're Yellow Brick roadkill.
KinAZ Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Since he doesn't know you have it... I would NOT use it. I would not want to risk putting a guy off by calling him because I obtained his number without his permission. The BETTER thing to do would be to have this mutual friend arrange for you to all hang out again so you can talk to him face to face and give him your number maybe. Or, have the friend ASK him if it's ok for you to call him, or... have the friend give him your number. I've done this before, and it worked out OK. Well, it wasn't always intentional "KinAZ likes you." "Give her my number." lol... Regardless, the point being, I think it better to have permission. It's the polite thing to do. Personally, I would have to be pretty taken by a man for him to call me without my permission! There are other chicken avenues to take if you want, but I would not use the number if he doesn't know you have it and is OK with that.
Star Gazer Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 The method that you went about getting his number is a little concerning, so I definitely wouldn't contact him, regardless of the chicken-factor.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Why does he not know you have it? When you saw him the other night did you mention that you had his number? I agree with SG that I'm wondering how these factors play into the deal and how he will respond. If you do feel that you would like to see him again call him, not text. I really hate when people text for the first time, it's like a friend type thing to do. Boyfriends/girlfriends text, "dates" would be more appropriate to call.
silvergirl Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I think you sending a text, without him knowing you have his number would be a bad idea. It would probably send a red flag to him. I would leave it be, and hope to see him again and then talk to him.
Author LoveLace Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 SG I didn't go around looking for his number. When a mutual friend of ours found out I liked him, he practically shoved the number in my face because he was highly confident that I should call him. Then he said, it's ok to say you got the number from me. He is a guy too, so I'd think if he thought it would come off as weird that he wouldn't be so encouraging. So I certainly didn't go on some mission for the digits, though I was happy about all the excitement coming from our friends. When I saw him the other night, I figured at some point then I would say something to him, but he was only there long enough for us to talk casually for a few minutes, plus all our other friends were around trying to socialize with us as well. He left way earlier than everyone else because it was a Sunday night and he had to get up pretty early the next day. So that kind of ruined my idea to say something at the "right time". When I said bye I didn't expect it so I just said bye too; at that point I didn't want to say, "Wait! Hold on!...." There's no telling when I will see him again, these friends of ours only get together for special occasions, usually.
Art_Critic Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 LL.. it would take about 45 secs to pick up the phone and talk to him.. Make it happen.. No guy will freak out that a girl who likes him got his number from a friend and called him.. If a guy does freak out then you obviously would not want to date someone that uptight.
Shygirl15 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Most of ya know I've been nervous as heck about asking this guy out. I have his number but he doesn't know I have it because a mutual friend gave it to me. I just saw him the other night for the 1st time in a while but I still like him...anyway...I thought about texting "Hi, K, this is Lovelace, I wanted you to have my number if you'd like to hang out sometime!" Yay or nay? Exactly how I met my ex-husband. Xcept that I CALLED him.
silvergirl Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 If you are confident that he will not think it is weird then I would CALL him, not text. That way you know then what's up. If you text and he doesn't call or text back, you'll be left wondering...did he get it, did he not want to talk to me, and so on and so forth. Just call him.
Author LoveLace Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 LL.. it would take about 45 secs to pick up the phone and talk to him.. Make it happen.. No guy will freak out that a girl who likes him got his number from a friend and called him.. If a guy does freak out then you obviously would not want to date someone that uptight. Great point
MarisaCraig Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 The way you got his number can be construed as a bit suspicious and "creepy" (not saying that you are). I have had many guys call me without me ever giving them my number and turns out they managed to convince other acquaintances who do have my number that they lost it and needed to contact me. Also, it may send the message to the guy that you are somewhat "stalkerish" and that's really scary to many guys, esp. if he's younger. Unless you've had multiple contacts with him, and I mean a lot, but for some reason, you two never exchanged numbers, then you could say you got it from a friend, but tread carefully. This option only works if you two are pretty close (but if so, how come you don't have each other's numbers already?!) and you are CONFIDENT he's not going to freak!!! And if then, I'd call... That's my 2 cents anyhow!
brothermartin Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 You could ask the friend that gave you the number to put in a good word for on the low. Just to let the guy know you are interested. I know that may sound immature, but sometimes it works better to have a buffer BEFORE you make a move. It would also help to find out if he's interested in you. Then make your move, or not.
Author LoveLace Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 You could ask the friend that gave you the number to put in a good word for on the low. Just to let the guy know you are interested. I know that may sound immature, but sometimes it works better to have a buffer BEFORE you make a move. It would also help to find out if he's interested in you. Then make your move, or not. I had a small suspicion the other night that the source of the phone number may have already said something to him, but that's only a suspicion. He was at the party also, sitting on one side of me while K was on the other. He kept egging me on to talk to him and I said, "I have been talking to him!"...and K did sit right next to me... I just went ahead and texted Cupid guy, "I'm nervous to call K! Maybe u could find out if he'd be interested?"...we'll see if that gets it anywhere..
Author LoveLace Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 I knew it!! The mutual friend texted me back and said: "grow some balls, what are we in high school?"...so much for that idea! lol
Keridan Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I knew it!! The mutual friend texted me back and said: "grow some balls, what are we in high school?"...so much for that idea! lol Just text the boy. You'll be fine! Worst case, he doesn't reply. I'm betting he'll get back to ya quick, tho. Good luck!
KinAZ Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I had a small suspicion the other night that the source of the phone number may have already said something to him, but that's only a suspicion. He was at the party also, sitting on one side of me while K was on the other. He kept egging me on to talk to him and I said, "I have been talking to him!"...and K did sit right next to me... I just went ahead and texted Cupid guy, "I'm nervous to call K! Maybe u could find out if he'd be interested?"...we'll see if that gets it anywhere.. If that's the case, then use the number. But I say call. I joined this place to post about my chicken text message, lol so I say call. I was advised to call before I texted and sent the text anyway... Just text the friend back and ask him if this guy knows you have his number first. :-)
Author LoveLace Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 If that's the case, then use the number. But I say call. I joined this place to post about my chicken text message, lol so I say call. I was advised to call before I texted and sent the text anyway... Just text the friend back and ask him if this guy knows you have his number first. :-) Ok I just texted him and asked if K knows that I have his number. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't know.
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