I don't know why I keep putting up with his behavior, it's making me feel really bad

[Fun2BMe]

Now that my therapist is away my life is getting ruined. I started seeing my ex again and couldn't be more miserable. I straight up told him I don't trust him, so what's the point of trying to be together? I was over at his house Thursday afternoon, he had to run an errand so he said he'd call me in the evening for me to come over. So I didn't make other plans, and not only did he not call, but he sent an email at 11pm about something without even making an excuse or bringing up that we were supposed to see each other!

 

So I stopped taking his calls, I didn't pick up over the weekend, and I got pissed off that Monday he didn't even bother emailing or calling. So this morning I sent him an email, and he said he'd call me later so I could come over in the afternoon. I had tons of things to do, but I made my schedule clear to be able to go see him.

 

AGAIN, I waited and waited....and WAITED but he didn't call:o. Finally he called around 4:45pm saying he was in such and such town (over an hour away) to have lunch and was on his way back, was stuck in traffic and if I wanted to see him tonight he'll call me as he gets closer to his house. Again he didn't apologize for flaking and didn't even bring it up. I sounded mad but I did't want to sound desperate so I forced myself to not bring it up, but now I'm left feeling very very hurt and angry and stupid to just go over to see him like he's the one to call all the shots and I have to always be available for him.

 

How could I have better handled the situation and how can I feel better so I won't be grumpy around him? I hate when I act passive agressive and that's the mood I'm in right now:sick:

[bigmanpayne]

i think you already know you should move on. not much else to say.

[Touche]

The best way to not be grumpy around him is to not be around him at all.

 

I think people did advise you to not go back to him.

 

I have nothing more to say on this either. It's sad to see that you're still stuck. You keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Don't you want to grow?

 

He sounds like a real pompous ass by the way..that bit about if you want to see HIM. Wow. I'd tell him where he can go. Why can't you do that.

 

You have so little self-respect. It's very sad, Fun.

 

Good luck. I hope one day you can break out of this doormat mode you've been in for so long.

[Prodigal Princess]

The best way to not be grumpy around him is to not be around him at all.

 

Yes. Duh!

 

You need to begin No Contact like, yesterday.

 

Now that my therapist is away my life is getting ruined.

 

The only person who has the power to ruin your life is YOU.

[Walk]

You are sending the message that you're okay with how he is treating you. Putting on a smile and pretending nothing is wrong sends the message that you're happy with how he's treating you.

 

My suggestion... dump this guy. Second suggestion if you ignore the first one.. tell him how pissed off it makes you when he does these types of things.

 

You know this relationship isn't going to be a fulfilling and happy one already, so what would you lose by actually speaking your mind? If you lose him, are you really that bad off? It might even result in you getting treated with a bit of decency.

 

Speak up, tell him what you want, and stick to it.

[Fun2BMe]

I didn't get any of your responses in time. I ended up going, I was grumpy at first and thought he'd ask what was wrong, but he acted like everything was ok, so I slowly started acting better while feeling really hurt inside, to the point he asked if my therapist was back in town because he thought I was doing ok now. I got so pissed off inside, like I don't want to see the therapist anymore.

 

It was his idea for me to start seeing one in the first place, as if I'm the only person with issues. I've been paying a fortune for one therapist to another, like he's turned me into a basket case while he's just fine and dandy. When I left his place, I was feeling EVEN MORE low and depressed to the point I don't know what to do. If I suddenly to NC it will be odd, he thinks all is great with me putting up with his BS all over again, and like I said it will be like passive aggressive. Anyways, I feel stuck.

[silvergirl]

Get a grip and get away from this man. How long have you 2 been dating?

[wierdmunky]

I had an ex like that, and no matter how many tries I would try to tell him that it bothered me, hurt my feelings, and if you don't think you can make plans then don't make them, and flake just to make me temporarily shut up, blah blah, he always said he understood and you just can't predict sometimes.... WHATEVER... he kept doing it over and over again. Until I said I just have had enough of it, and I'm a better woman than that.

 

You have better things to do, don't waste all that good energy on waiting!