northstar1 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Anyone else still have frequent dreams of their ex's? For me, it's still a few times a week, usually right before I wake up - so ofcourse they are fresh in my mind. Wish there was a way to stop them.
Nevermind Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Hello northstar, this may sound weird, but it does work for me. When I was a child, nightmares were pretty frequent, and I learned to avoid them. Every night I imagined my dream before going to sleep. Not the story, but the setting. I would try to picture it right before going to sleep. It worked very often, because my mind was still on it while I was sleeping.
Ingenue Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I sometimes still have them. Immediately after the break up for the first few weeks, I often had them. Now, very rarely. I find that if I don't consciously think of the ex before heading off to dreamland, I either don't have one or have one and don't remember. What's helped for me is just thinking of the banal before closing my eyes: how many posts were on that fence; what do I need to buy at the grocery store; what am I going to wear tomorrow; what were the lyrics to that stupid television theme song. I find that when I do that, what little remaining mental energy I haven't spent during the day becomes directed towards non-ex-like things.
Author northstar1 Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 I sometimes still have them. Immediately after the break up for the first few weeks, I often had them. Now, very rarely. I find that if I don't consciously think of the ex before heading off to dreamland, I either don't have one or have one and don't remember. What's helped for me is just thinking of the banal before closing my eyes: how many posts were on that fence; what do I need to buy at the grocery store; what am I going to wear tomorrow; what were the lyrics to that stupid television theme song. I find that when I do that, what little remaining mental energy I haven't spent during the day becomes directed towards non-ex-like things. How long ago was your breakup, if I can ask? Yeah, I guess the problem is that I'm normally thinking of the ex before I sleep. Gotta work on that. But damn, I'm tired of having these surreal dreams with her in them.
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 No advice on when they go away, but you're not alone. I still dream of him and i'm rapidly approaching 4 months since the break! He will normally creep into my head first thing in the morning too, even if i've forgotten most of the dream, I know he was in it. These are very frequent, most nights if i'm honest. I try to make my last thought before going to sleep be that this is how it's supposed to be etc... I try not to think of him exactly, but the situation is still in my head so I aknowledge that. I try and take a philosophical stance instead of anything specific to him. My brain is clearly still trying to work some feelings out.
Author northstar1 Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 No advice on when they go away, but you're not alone. I still dream of him and i'm rapidly approaching 4 months since the break! He will normally creep into my head first thing in the morning too, even if i've forgotten most of the dream, I know he was in it. These are very frequent, most nights if i'm honest. I try to make my last thought before going to sleep be that this is how it's supposed to be etc... I try not to think of him exactly, but the situation is still in my head so I aknowledge that. I try and take a philosophical stance instead of anything specific to him. My brain is clearly still trying to work some feelings out. Glad I'm not alone with this one. It is becoming a bit unnerving to be honest.
iwanttolive Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 The first month after i broke up, i dreamt of him every night!!! The worst kind of dream was the sweetest dream. I woke up to realise it was only a dream and sometimes I would cry. Morning was the worst time for me. Sometime I'd wake up with a pain on my chest or tears on my eyes. Then I had to prepare myself to go to work. I duno how to stop them. But there was once, I worked out in the gym in the evening to the point of exhaustion. I did not have any dream that night. Maybe that will work.
ioncebelieved Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I still have weird dreams from time to time and the person in the dreams seem like her...I mean you know dreams are. The mind is a terrible thing to waste!
Ingenue Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 How long ago was your breakup, if I can ask? Yeah, I guess the problem is that I'm normally thinking of the ex before I sleep. Gotta work on that. But damn, I'm tired of having these surreal dreams with her in them. Not that long to be honest. It's been just a little over a month and while I'm not having dreams of him, I'm also trying to not consciously think of him before I sleep. I was with him for over 5 years but it's over. I'm probably in some denial phase of the dumping period which is why I'm not dreaming of him so much. My problem is more the waking thoughts I have of him, those images we both would talk about - what our kids would look like, the house, our life together. That's what I'm having more difficulty with
sunshinegirl Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I've had bat***** crazy dreams this week. I'm overseas and in a hotel and maybe that's why... but two nights ago I dreamed that I met the hooch and she was short, pudgy, with a child...and planning to marry my cheating ex. I thougth she was an idiot. And him too. Last night's dream was even more strange: my ex ex from 2005 popped back into my life and wanted to marry me. I didn't question a thing and agreed. Only afterwards did I learn that he had a daughter from his first wife (in real life the woman he married a year ago). We were living in a house with a ton of leaks and a cracked foundation. Ha. Dreams with exes in them suck. I'm going to try to envision the right relationship, the right guy tonight and see if I have better dreams.
roghornio Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 i dreamed about my ex for the first time in a wile last night. In the dream she was grossly overweight and had ginger hair. No offence to the gingers! I knew it was her though. As you do in dreams! She asked me to a party on a oil rig and the only way to the rig was to swim through a hole and up under the rig. She went first but i thought i might drown so did not go. Someone later in the dream said the party was rubbish. Lol. Now someone explain that.
kyta Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Last night was the first time i have dreamed of her since the spilt 10 wks ago, i dreamt her and her sister made a huge cake about 4foot by 2foot and i therw it acros the road, i then walked over to it and picked it up, but as i picked it up it folded in half neither was piissed at me, her sister then pointed to a building across the road witch was a night club and said my x was moving in there i then woke up, fooked up or what, lets hope i dont dream anymore.
sultry33 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 i used to dream of him most nights to the point i did not want to sleep now i try and focus on thinking of work/ kids anything to block him out.. its very hard to do but it has reduced the dreams.. i get about 3 a week some are the sweet dreams where we are together watching film.. or driving.. seem so real so yea i get upset but some are norty and damn to break nc for a cuddle an more is so tempting but i wont i wish there was a dream programming tool.. id certainly buy it:love:
Grace112 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 You're not alone. I still dream about him 3 to 4 nights a week and it's been a year since he called off the wedding. The dreams change - but they all end the same. He ends up being unfaithful. It's amazing how good the dreams feel when things are going the way that I wished they would. As soon as they start going sour, that familiar panic comes back. I end up waking up upset and drenched in sweat.
justaman99 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I used to. I even had dreams of her sister and her husband, hanging out, barbecuing, talking about gadgets with her brother in law. It sucks because I really loved her family. I haven't had a dream about her in a while. It's been 6 months and I am glad I don't. It's rough enough trying not to think about her during the day. I would be in really bad shape if I had dreams about her. Crap, I'll probably have a dream about her tonight now. heh -just
kizik Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 The dreams are not a bad thing. Repeat, the dreams are not a bad thing. Dreams are basically our mind's way of processing memories. When you wake up after having dreamed of her, don't feel sad. Dreaming of her is supposed to happen. There's nothing wrong with it and it's just how breakups go. I've dreamed just in the last few nights that we've kissed, had sex, etc. It's fine. Just don't let that emotion dominate your day.
tinke Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Not so much dreams, but waking with him on my mind is becoming tiresome. Still, I have moved on from the paralyzing effects.
carrie3107 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 One of my dreams is that I get the dog back and he has been neglected, and have to start from scratch with him. I do worry about the dog as ex works very long shifts 7 days a wk.
johnny1102 Posted August 5, 2008 Posted August 5, 2008 i still dream about my ex every night, i try to avoid going to sleep most nights because i hate waking up in the morning finding out it was all a dream. i have hardley got any sleep in the past few weeks.
Zap Posted August 6, 2008 Posted August 6, 2008 Yep.... For some reason, I only dream about my recent ex, but the dream is always the same. She walks up to me and says "I'm sorry for everything I did. I miss you." Then we lie down and just lay there for a while until I start crying. Then she says "It needed to happen, ok? I don't love you anymore" and then she just fades away.
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