stoopid_guy Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 If a married person is no longer intimate with their spouse and is having an affair, are they monogamous? (Monogamous, but with someone other than their legal spouse.)
mental_traveller Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 LOL Ask the wife, or the judge at divorce court
Keridan Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Somehow, the word affair doesn't seem to go well with the word monogamous
Author stoopid_guy Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 LOL Ask the wife, or the judge at divorce court The most common definition of "monogamy" seems to be having a single sexual partner. Monogamy (with the spouse) is part of a good marriage. BUT if a person goes five years (for example) and only has sex with one partner, wouldn't that be monogamy even if the partner wasn't their spouse? (No argument that it's "cheating" and grounds for divorce.) Somehow, the word affair doesn't seem to go well with the word monogamous Don't ya' love these little ironies?
Keridan Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 It's true you can be monogamous with someone other than your SO (by exact definition). It's just plain not good. If you ever hit that point, it's time to do everyone involved a favor and end the marriage. I probably wouldn't count on the new relationship surviving everything, tho.
Author stoopid_guy Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 It's true you can be monogamous with someone other than your SO (by exact definition). It's just plain not good. If you ever hit that point, it's time to do everyone involved a favor and end the marriage. I probably wouldn't count on the new relationship surviving everything, tho. No argument, it's less than ideal. However, intimacy is only one aspect of a marriage. You'll see posts here from all kinds of folks who are staying in marriages that are romantically dead, especially where kids are involved. If you're in that situation and you still crave romance/intimacy, affairs are almost inevitable. Those affairs can still be monogamous. They can have the comfort of a trusted and well-understood lover.
Citizen Erased Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 IMO no it is not counted as being monogamous, and no affair is ever justified. If the lack of sex is such an issue that one feels the need to cheat on their partner, a trip to the divorce lawyer is necessary first.
luvstarved Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 Um, no, they are not monogamous, nice try at rationalization. I think the term would better be "giddy with delusion" but that is just me.
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