Tabatha Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Hey all, I am shocked. I was messaging back and forward with my ex and he said he misses me and wants to be my man again. I last saw him at this past christmas when he came and visited from Florida. I was with my current boyfriend but was happy to see my ex because I got my closure. He left in March 2007 without telling me, moving back to florida, and hadn't seen him for those 09 months until Christmas. It's been 7 months since Christmas. We live 10 hours apart. He's been saying he wants to come back up and see me. The thing that bothers me is he knows I have a boyfriend. I replied back to his message saying to him, I don't have any feelings for him and I love my boyfriend very much. He just replied back as I am typing this, I don't know what he's going to say, but I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way and never want to speak to me again, just because I don't see him as anything more than a friend. Why after so long would he want to try again and knowing I am with my boyfriend of almost 9 months who thinks the world of me, and I do him? I'm not leaving my boyfriend. My ex, is just that, an ex and a friend. I just wanted to share and ask why do they do that?
Arise_Serpentor Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Maybe the question should be "Why do they think they can do that WITH YOU?!" Is there something about your past or personality that makes him think you will go back out with him?
Author Tabatha Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 Well, he is one day older than me. We are both Capricorns. I lost my virginity to him. I am a good person and he knows I loved and cared for him at one point. We were only together for a month and a half in a relationship before he left. Not a very longtime. But I've kept in touch as friends this whole time.
Author Tabatha Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 There is no choice to make. I love my current boyfriend and wouldn't dream of giving up what we have just because my ex wants me back. I just feel bad. I never had to turn someone down before. I was always the one who got turned down.
Author Tabatha Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 Well, the message he sent while I was posting this thread, was not the one I sent him saying, "I don't have feelings for you..." It was the one where he said He's been thinking about me alot more often and doesn't know how to say this but wants to be my man again... I replied with, "Why now after all this time?" He said, "I don't know why, I just miss you lots." He has yet to reply to the message where I turned him down. Still online though!
Author Tabatha Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 He got offline and never replied. He's most likely upset. Why do I feel so bad?
JustinWolf Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 You are so cute. lol. It's okay to tell him to go smell some flowers away from you because you had to turn him down. Otherwise, he'd feel like there's some chances and he'd have pursued talking and flirting with you. Which may have caused issues later on with your ongoing life with your bf. Now, you'll have the sheer pleasure of witnessing how men can be pushy. He will most likely contact you again.
Author Tabatha Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 Well D is at a pool hall with his friend and most likely won't be home for another hour. I called him to tell him, but the music at the bar was so loud. So now I'm waiting. I wonder what his comments will be on the subject. He knows I love him and wouldn't let him go. Hell, when my ex came back for xmas and I spent the day with ex, D said he trusted I did the right thing and that I was honest/faithful to him. We trust each other, and I love him for it. I'm not sure if I will here from ex for a while now. I kinda let him down. It took alot for him to say that to me.
Author Tabatha Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 Sounds like he wants a threesome. I hope not.
JustinWolf Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Sounds like he wants a threesome. And how did you deduce that? Anyways, Tabs, I'm pretty sure D will just brush it off and I'm guessing your ex took all this time because maybe he was scared to let you know about his feelings. Imagine this situation: a guy likes a girl, they both date for 2 years. The guy breaks up because he feels a distance with his SO. Then he realises that he still loves her so he goes to try again and tells her how much he loves her but she's heartbroken so she tells him to walk away and never contact her again. For her sake he decides to go NC, she stays NC but she realizes she wants him also but since he's in NC she doesn't try to contact him. So both love each other but don't try to communicate with each other and the years pass and pass and pass. You get it? He was perhaps just scared to be hurt again. Give him some time and I'm sure he'll be okay.
Author Tabatha Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 Yea, everything should be alright. I'm sure I'll get a "HI tab, whats happenin?" message in the next few days .
Angel1111 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Yep, it hurts to hurt someone but don't forget that he dug this hole for himself when he walked out on you without a word over a year ago. As they say, 'don't gamble if you can't afford to lose'. He just lost.
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