Peter_pan Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I have read many posts (well a few) where people are out the other side. i am trying and thought i had got better but, its been 5 months and if i still feel like this at the end of this year, something is seriously wrong with me. i have considered overdosing on sleeping pills if i cannot overcome this, i know it wouldnt be fair on my family but i would apologize and ask for forgiveness. i just cant take that she dosnt talk to me or regret what she did. it really is ****ed up.
northstar1 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I have read many posts (well a few) where people are out the other side. i am trying and thought i had got better but, its been 5 months and if i still feel like this at the end of this year, something is seriously wrong with me. i have considered overdosing on sleeping pills if i cannot overcome this, i know it wouldnt be fair on my family but i would apologize and ask for forgiveness. i just cant take that she dosnt talk to me or regret what she did. it really is ****ed up. Peter, you will get through this. There is no timeline for healing for everyone. Have you thought about speaking to a therapist about your thoughts? It helps many people to talk to someone. You have a long, happy life ahead of you, you will get through this. It's hard to see now, but you will.
iwanttolive Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Hi pp, I know how u feel. I'm also burning with anger whenever i think how my ex could so easily end our rs while acting ignorance that they are the cause of the rs breakdown. If you have the courage of overdosing on sleeping pill, y not try other extreme things which are more positive. Drop your life wherever you are, go to the carribean and work at the beach cafe and party all day long. Be a lifeguard. You'll have a great tanned bod everyone will die for Something like that. And if you plan on going to asia, do pm me Whatever you do, don't do anything that betray your conscience, like breaking lotsa gals' hearts because u think we are all b*tches. My heart hurts as much being dumped like i'm just a piece of clothes without feeling..
Author Peter_pan Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 at the same time i feel i could have prevented all this. if she wasnt my first girlfriend i would know she was the one. i have had the break of being single that i "longed for". i have improved myself. i would have discovered that the grass wasnt greener. maybe she has just changed and isnt the person that i now want. i would like to do something like that but because i am 21 i really need to get an education sorted out. i just knew that as soon as i didnt hear from her and i go NC that, that would be the last i hear from her. she is so stubborn its unreal. ive got the email she wrote me back in jan, i would like to post it here to see what you think. but i dont want to read it i got brushed off as just a "first love"
foxh1234 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 at the same time i feel i could have prevented all this. if she wasnt my first girlfriend i would know she was the one. i have had the break of being single that i "longed for". i have improved myself. i would have discovered that the grass wasnt greener. maybe she has just changed and isnt the person that i now want. i would like to do something like that but because i am 21 i really need to get an education sorted out. i just knew that as soon as i didnt hear from her and i go NC that, that would be the last i hear from her. she is so stubborn its unreal. ive got the email she wrote me back in jan, i would like to post it here to see what you think. but i dont want to read it i got brushed off as just a "first love" Hi PP, I know how you feel man, I really do. I am going to tell it to you straight and it might hurt a bit. You are living in the past my friend. The girl you know and loved is gone. All the what ifs in the world cannot bring her back. You will not get better until you put her behind you. As painful as it is, it will get better. If you are doing NC, she cannot hurt you. You are hurting yourself with your what if thoughts. Please accept it for what it is. You cannot make another person love you or want you. If she doesn't, her loss. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move the f**k on. You have no other choice. I have been where you are and I survived. So will you. Concentrate on school and put her behind you. If, down the road you re-connect, deal with it then. For now, get your self together and stop talking about taking pills, that's nonsense!! You are bigger , stronger, smarter and tougher than this. PM me anytime for another kick in the a**.
iwanttolive Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 PP, is there any reason y u felt the grass was greener at the other side or wanting to be single while u were with her?
Author Peter_pan Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 cheers fox. maybe re connecting with her the time would be in the future after ive been through a few more relationships? erm because i had been with her from the age of 17, i just felt the urge to know what else was out there and what it would be like being independent. i relied on her to much, probably pushed her away. thats all young and dumb
northstar1 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 cheers fox. maybe re connecting with her the time would be in the future after ive been through a few more relationships? erm because i had been with her from the age of 17, i just felt the urge to know what else was out there and what it would be like being independent. i relied on her to much, probably pushed her away. thats all young and dumb Fox gave you good advice. You can't worry about when you may reconnect. You need to act as if you never will. Otherwise you will hold onto hope, and that keep you from moving on. Figure out what you want to do with school, and then when you are ready, start dating other girls. It's possible you may cross paths with the ex one day. Again, it's possible, but you can't plan for that, or entertain the 'what if's
replicator Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Peter, As difficult as it is, you need to let go and live your life. You will stay in the hole you've dug yourself, as long as you decide to dwell there. It's up to you to get up and move on. I know how you feel. I was with my ex for 10 years, and they were the best times of my life. I know it sounds cliche, but I wouldn't have hesitated to give my life if it would spare hers. I loved her unconditionally, and I lost her. I felt the same regrets, that I f*cked up. That I did something wrong. It was a struggle to get up, and I couldn't keep my focus on anything for months. Perhaps we're not innocent, but there are some things beyond our control. Life goes on my friend, believe it. Learn from your shortcomings, and next time you won't make the same. Loving and losing is a part of life.. While you feel like nobody has been there, trust me, many of us have been in a similar situation. This forum is proof of that. Be strong - don't give up! In each great loss and difficult struggle we face in life, there is an equal opportunity for us to grow and become stronger. You will get there - believe it.
JustinWolf Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Don't overdose, you silly silly man. Be strong and life will go on, I said the exact same thing as you where you stand but with time I felt fine and I'm stronger now more than ever and everything's fine. You will find someone else, eventually. You will feel good, I promise. Just give it some time and don't think about if she will ever come back cuz you will hold on to hope and you won't be able to have fun in life. Just enjoy yourself and maybe, one day, down the road you will meet again and this time perhaps you won't even want her. Think about it.
critter909 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 My first real boyfriend I stayed with for over a year when I was 15 & 16. He was a total a**hole. I loved him more than anything, I was head over heels in love, lost my virginity to him etc. etc. He dumped me several times, each time I felt like you, I thought I would die. I really did. I drank myself into alcohol poisoning several times. Looking back on this more than 10 years later I can tell you that I would have been absolutly retarted if I had seriously harmed myself. I got over it, I really did. You will too. There are others out there, I have fallen in love 4 times since then, each time felt fabulous and then I have spent the last 10 years with a man I loved more deeply than I ever loved a**hole number 1 who I thought I'd never get over. So please, please, please don't harm yourself.
Author Peter_pan Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 i hear you, i just feel there isnt another girl that i will connect with in the same way. we looked at everything in the same light i feel sad i dont talk to her and she dont talk to me. why should i have to be the one to break nc to speak to her? i txtd her last but no reply. as far as i know she dont hate me. so what gives
roghornio Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 hi pete. Listen you have loads of good times and lovers ahead of you, trust me on that one! You sound like you in a rut. I think once you get uni sorted out everything will slowly but surly sort itself out. I have been in a huge rut this year for me. This time last year my life was perfect. It all crumbled by spring. Sometimes i think something went wrong at i went down the wrong path! We will see... Any way what i was going to say was i was in a rut. Girl gone, job i hate, friends moved away. I live groundhog day. So enough was enough. In just over a month i am stepping on a plane to china. I have no idea where i am staying, what i am going to do. I dont care, and i have no intention of coming home soon. I am putting myself out into the universe and see what it throws at me. Otherwise i going to rot away and be dwelling on things i cant change. Now i not saying you should do the same, what i am saying is what your doing is not working... So change it up. Do something radical and throw a curvecall at your path through life. What about uni in a different country? A year out travelling before you go? Anything man! Just dont sit still and wait for someone or sometimi to show you way! As the great pink floyd said.
northstar1 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 i hear you, i just feel there isnt another girl that i will connect with in the same way. we looked at everything in the same light i feel sad i dont talk to her and she dont talk to me. why should i have to be the one to break nc to speak to her? i txtd her last but no reply. as far as i know she dont hate me. so what gives You will connect with antoher girl, perhaps in even better ways. You have a long life ahead of you to meet wonderful women. It's natural to feel sad, it comes with loss. But the sadness is not permanent. And, as you can see, breaking NC has it's consequences, esp. if they don't reply. You've learned from this experience and I'm sure will be hesitant to try again. Time to move forward and build yourself an amazing life.
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