blair08 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I think any site, that takes away or even takes the place of a persons time, energy and healing with a spouse or loved one could possibly be damaging. I don't find anything wrong with seeking advice from places like this or other places, but as someone said earlier, you get alot of mixed advice, some good, some not so good, and some just completely off the wall, and that can make a person who is already confused, worse off. I would think sometimes we have to be careful when giving out advice to others, because we never truly know someone else's mental state when they are facing problems or issues.
JackJack Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 -"All that being said : I have walked away from LS before though only because I got so wrapped up in a thread that my blood pressure was being affected.." I think thats kind of what the OP was getting at. It was something you were so wrapped up in AT THAT TIME, that it not only effected you mentally but physically as well, and you had to walk away from it. So it was "damaging" to you during that time. So, yes it can be damaging. Its good it hasn't seemed to have had that effect on you like that since then. -"I sometimes get flustered and have to put the keyboard down in those instances.. There are posters here that never let LS get to them no matter how much heat I have seen come down on her ( Lizzie ).. I never see her get her feathers ruffled.. I have always admired that about her.. since I don't have the same ability she does." I think its easier for some than others. I think too, there are some who simply don't care enough to let it get to them either.
Art_Critic Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I think thats kind of what the OP was getting at. It was something you were so wrapped up in AT THAT TIME, that it not only effected you mentally but physically as well, and you had to walk away from it. So it was "damaging" to you during that time. So, yes it can be damaging. Its good it hasn't seemed to have had that effect on you like that since then. But it isn't LS that creates the dynamic.. LS is just another place to express those feelings and happenings.. How many political discussions have you gotten into with your friends at work or your family where you get so wound up that you have to go for a walk or leave the conversation ? Should you blame the family get together ? or the workplace get together ?.. no.. you just simply walk away and shake your head.. same thing with LS
JackJack Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I never said LS created the dynamic. I totally get what you're saying about that. BUT because you got wrapped up in a thread, (and it could have been on any site too) it still caused some kind of damage to you enough for you to feel it was best to walk away from it for awhile. Now you are at a different place in your life on things. You may even handle things alot differently too than before.
grogster Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 But it isn't LS that creates the dynamic.. LS is just another place to express those feelings and happenings.. How many political discussions have you gotten into with your friends at work or your family where you get so wound up that you have to go for a walk or leave the conversation ? Should you blame the family get together ? or the workplace get together ?.. no.. you just simply walk away and shake your head.. same thing with LS I respectfully disagree, AC. The LS dynamic is different from work/family get-togethers because it's a Net-based relationship forum where intimate strangers disclose secrets they hide from family and workmates. There's a Net/Heart multiplier effect here that we don't see in dinner table or water cooler banter. The Shack should have a warning label: Caution. Overuse of this site may be hazardous to your mental health, real world relationships and happiness.
blair08 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 "where you get so wound up that you have to go for a walk or leave the conversation ?" It was the conversation that took place on a forum(LS) though that got you so heated you had to walk, so I see where that did cause some damage. I think if something has gotten out of hand, or someone is feeling a certain way about things from a conversation, wheather in RL or on a forum, then yeah it is best to walk way, either permantely or for a time being.
Art_Critic Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 There's a Net/Heart multiplier effect here that we don't see in dinner table or water cooler banter. I guess there is some truth to that statement.. By the way..Net/Heart multiplier effect .. where did you think that up ? you need to trademark that.. good stuff Face to face in front of family or at work you are not hiding behind the keyboard .. you are also around people that know us so we act accordingly... Okay.. I give.. LS is hazardous to your mental health... or to your sobriety
mental_traveller Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I disagree. In my experience and observation, by the time someone posts "should I stay?" then it's already time for them to have moved on. 95% of serious relationship problems are best solved by breaking things off IMO. The people whose relationship is good enough that they *should* stay, generally won't post on here - and if they do, people will recognise it's a minor issue and say work it out. On the (very rare) occasions LS advocates quitting a solid relationship with minor issues, someone who really wants to stay is just going to ignore that advice. Humans are massively biased to staying in relationships rather than breaking them off. There is huge inertia, anxiety, potential heartbreak in exiting a relationship. Therefore by common sense, people will stay in way too long in the vast majority of cases. Cutting & running should be encouraged, to stop so many people wasting years or decades of their lives with *******s, bitches, totally unsuitable partners, cheaters, manipulators, NPD/bi-polar headcases etc.
TalkLikeLion Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 I compare it to suicide or eating disorder support forums, honestly. You'll get different responses, but chances are, you aren't looking as much for an answer from others as for the knowledge that someone out there understands the way you're feeling and is offering advice. Maybe I'm wrong, but I tend to over analyze more than anyone and I like being around here. you just have to see it as support, and not answers. When I'm suicidal or my ED is triggered and I go on boards for those, I don't expect those people to cure me. But having others around, responding to me, that are in the same boat, is an extremely comforting feeling, you know?
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