tm83 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 So here is my problem. I met this girl on match.com. We talked online and through texts for a few weeks and despite both having busy schedules (i have my daughter every other week & her work keeps her real busy) we finally made a date to meet for dinner. It went great and we got along wonderfully and had a great time. We both agreed that we would definately do it again. Well then she starts acting a bit distant. Every time I tried to set up another date something was going on for her. It was strange cause I am a very perceptive person and could tell that we both had a great time together. I asked her what was up and she said that she really liked me but she had been through a lot in the past year (dating wise) and didnt want to rush things from fear of being hurt. I told her I understood and we would take it slow. Well 2nd date comes around and we have an even better time. Laughed the whole time, constant eye contact and smiles. My car was parked a long ways away & hers wasnt so she gave me a ride to mine. In the car we ended up making out for a while and both agreed that we didnt want the evening to end. A short drive later we were naked & in the hot tub:) The sex was incredible and not just on a physical level. The next day she expressed concern that I would think less of her cause it was only our 2nd date. I assured her that I didnt judge her in the least because of what happened and that I had a great time. She told me that it had been a while for her and that she had a wonderful time as well and couldnt wait to see me again. We made plans for Sunday (it was Wed) and talked in between. Sunday comes and she is nowhere to be found! I text her and no response, I called and no response! WTF! She had a friend in town over the weekend and she was leaving Sunday....so maybe the friend stayed an extra day and she couldnt....but no response.....no "hey sorry I cant today". Its like some days she is all about it and others she is just distant or not around. She has said that she wants to pursue this and hopefully build a serious relationship, but sometimes she just doesnt act like it. She says that she is still working through some things, and that she gets deppressed some days. Could that just be all it is...she gets down and doesnt want to be around anyone?? Do you think Im SOL with her?? I am also afraid that sex on the 2nd date was too quick for her or something (we did have a good bit of wine that night). She is also 7 years older than me but we have talked alot about the age difference and it bothers neither of us...she actually aproached me. Should I back off and wait for a response about Sunday? Should I call, text, or IM? We IM a lot but it says she is away from her desk every time I get on today! Am I over reacting about Sunday? I just feel that not responding is a lack of respect... Should I just chill out???...probably..lol. But I'm really confused about this one. I usually dont get this way over women. What should I think about all of this??? How should I proceed with her?? I really want this to work.....
xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 people with depression usually disappears for a long period of time before reappearing in your life acting like nothing's happened. Then they disappear again. You sure you want?
Author tm83 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 good question...honestly I do. We had a great connection and even though only going out a few times it was like we had known each other for ever. I guess it would depend on how severe the depression is. I have some experience with people who suffer from depression. Do you think that all of this stems from depression? Do you think she is freaked from things moving so fast? Combination of both???
silvergirl Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 So you guys have only had 2 dates? The second one with sex, and now she is not responding to your calls. Sounds to me like she either feels bad for having sex with you that soon, that's the only thing she wanted, or she didn't enjoy it. Either way, I think you may better let this one go and try again.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 good question...honestly I do. We had a great connection and even though only going out a few times it was like we had known each other for ever. I guess it would depend on how severe the depression is. I have some experience with people who suffer from depression. Do you think that all of this stems from depression? Do you think she is freaked from things moving so fast? Combination of both??? Well based on her behaviour it seems the depression comes and goes. When that happens she'll probably turn off her phone or pretend she's not home to avoid any contact with outsiders, you included. Yet when she's out of it, she may be as chirpy as ever and try to initiate conversations with you and you might take that as interests on her part. She has some issues with trust so she might like you and talk to you, but wouldn't necessarily want to rush into a passionate relationship with you. She's basically hot and cold. Be prepared.
Author tm83 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 we have actually talked a good bit since we had sex, just no response the next day we had plans. i think xpaperxcutx is right, the depresion comes and goes.... should I just be upfront with her and ask her about it?
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