jadedone Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Ladies, what is more important to you, a guy's income level or his job title? or both? Example, when I was the general manager of a restaurant making 70k a year, a lot of women would dismiss me as soon as I told them I was the manager of a restaurant, regardless of the fact I made good money, I had a friend who was a pilot for a small airline making 26k a year, and women thought he was great because he was a pilot.
Linux Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I can tell you straight up, income doesn't mean **** and job title is everything. I make 130k/year as an electrical engineer yet when I tell women my job title I put them to sleep. I got a friend makes minimum wage as a bag boy at safeway and I swear women get more excited about his job than mine. I actually think my job title hurts me a bit with some women.
Star Gazer Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Neither is as important as how successful and ambituous you are in your chosen field.
Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I am one who thinks your job/career says a little about your personality. So, I focus more on the industry/job description rather than the money. People choose jobs and jobs choose people based on their personality. You can tell a little about a person if you know what they do. Thank goodness those women were idiots. They might have thrown the charm on you OP.
lovestruck818 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Job title is more important to me. A "sanitation manager" making in the $100k's is not as impressive to me as someone who is a "Paralegal" or something...even if the Paralegal is making crappy money. It's sad but unfortunately I think a lot of people feel the same way. Everyone is capable of doing their job well but title can make or break you.
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Since I am self employed, jobs titles mean nothing to me. No matter what your title is, you are still working for someone else to make them money. Your career can be taken from you in an instant. Then you have to beg someone else to hire you. So I would much rather date a woman who worked for herself, than someone in the professional world.
Rooster_DAR Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 CPA = $120,000.00 Stripper= $25,000.00 (plus tips) Hmm...tough decision. Ha:eek:
lovestruck818 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Since I am self employed, jobs titles mean nothing to me. No matter what your title is, you are still working for someone else to make them money. Your career can be taken from you in an instant. Then you have to beg someone else to hire you. So I would much rather date a woman who worked for herself, than someone in the professional world. but just as easily as someone's job can be taken out from under them, a person who works for him/herself has to worry about that too. 1/2 of all businesses fail within the first year. I would think it would be easier to keep one's job working for someone else than to work for oneself. (Not to say working for oneself isn't impressive, it IS, however it is extremely risky.)
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 True, but you control your own destiny. Everyday is your own. I take 2- 3 month vacations anytime I choose. So, for me, a woman who does not work at all, or a self employed woman is the way for me to go. I mean that great to have a nice titrl, but if you spend your life at the office, it isnt much of a life.
BUENG1 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Ladies, what is more important to you, a guy's income level or his job title? or both? Example, when I was the general manager of a restaurant making 70k a year, a lot of women would dismiss me as soon as I told them I was the manager of a restaurant, regardless of the fact I made good money, I had a friend who was a pilot for a small airline making 26k a year, and women thought he was great because he was a pilot. I would say literally that job title is more important because ussually people don't ask what you make in the early stages of dating, so they ask what you do and come to their own conclusions.
Author jadedone Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 I would say literally that job title is more important because ussually people don't ask what you make in the early stages of dating, so they ask what you do and come to their own conclusions. There have been times I just stop talking to them if they ask me that within the first few minutes. If I have been talking to them a few days and they ask, it doesn't bother me so much.
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Exactly.. That seems to almost always be the womans first question.."What do you do"
Rooster_DAR Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Exactly.. That seems to almost always be the womans first question.."What do you do" Well now we know what not to look for don't we. God I hate people like that!
Author jadedone Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 Some people equate self-employed to unemployed. I currently play poker for a living, and some women find it interesting or exciting, and others think I'm a deadbeat with a problem who is on the verge of losing his house. The reality is that I live comfortably, have good savings, and playing poker 50 hours a week is kind of boring. So I am hesitant to tell women what I do for a living. I never know if they will find it interesting or find it scary.
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 LOL True.. I spoke to one woman who told me I would not be good to marry, because I could declare different amounts of income, and then when divorced her child support payments/alimony might be low.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Wow, I didn't realize asking someone what they did early on was so insulting... I'm proud of my job. I worked hard to get it and am successful in my field and am happy to tell people what I do. I don't ask people what they do so I can immediately assess if they are "dateable" or "make enough money for me." I ask because they might be in a field related to me (common ground), have an interesting job (maybe one I have yet to have heard about), and find out a little bit more about them and their personality. An electrical engineer, for example, probably has a different mindset and personality than an elementary-education teacher, so it's nice to find out what type of work makes people "tick." I guess it's worth the risk to me to alienate a guy so quickly. If a guy is going to be that offended, or think I'm just after a guy with a good paycheck simply by me asking what he does on the first date, then he's too sensitive, self-important, and paranoid to create a successful relationship with me anyway.
Star Gazer Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Wow, I didn't realize asking someone what they did early on was so insulting... I'm proud of my job. I worked hard to get it and am successful in my field and am happy to tell people what I do. I don't ask people what they do so I can immediately assess if they are "dateable" or "make enough money for me." I ask because they might be in a field related to me (common ground), have an interesting job (maybe one I have yet to have heard about), and find out a little bit more about them and their personality. An electrical engineer, for example, probably has a different mindset and personality than an elementary-education teacher, so it's nice to find out what type of work makes people "tick." I guess it's worth the risk to me to alienate a guy so quickly. If a guy is going to be that offended, or think I'm just after a guy with a good paycheck simply by me asking what he does on the first date, then he's too sensitive, self-important, and paranoid to create a successful relationship with me anyway. I TOTALLY agree!!!!
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Yes, however that mentality is simply annoying. So you will ask someone what they do, then put them in a box? So, If someone says they are a lawyer, I should think of stereotypical lawyers. Or if they are a real estate agent,I should then put them in that box. You don't really care about "what makes him tick" or else you would actually try talking to him, about other things than work. What someone does for work does not define them. I am sure if he says surgeon, you really don't care about much else. All of a sudden he is handsome, funny, and interesting.
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Also, what you don't realize is that MEN KNOW the majority of women ask for different reasons than you might be. So, by asking, you are coming off like all the rest of them. Of course on a first date it is normal conversation. I am talking about when it is the first thing asked in an email, or when you first meet someone.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 You don't really care about "what makes him tick" or else you would actually try talking to him, about other things than work. What someone does for work does not define them. I am sure if he says surgeon, you really don't care about much else. All of a sudden he is handsome, funny, and interesting. That's amazingly assumptive and completely false. I certainly wouldn't tell you what you do or do not care about or think. I don't even know you. If a person is rude, paranoid, defensive or small-minded, I wouldn't care what he did. Someone doesn't automatically become "handsome, funny, and interesting" by their job title. I went to college and have a professional career. Do I want the same? Sure. But I'm not asking for the guy to bring anything to the table that I can't bring. I don't need or want anyone to take care of me. I make good money, and my income has actually scared guys away because they find it intimidating. Before I head out for a date, I think to myself "Wow, I hope we have something in common, have a good time and that something comes of this." I don't go in with all of these pre-judgments and paranoia because I fear someone is just going to be out to get dinners and alimony from me down the road. I don't live my life operating from a place of mistrust and fear.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Also, what you don't realize is that MEN KNOW the majority of women ask for different reasons than you might be. So, by asking, you are coming off like all the rest of them. I don't ask that question right away, but yes, it usually comes up fairly early on during a meeting, with both men and women, whenever I meet someone new. If a guy judges me negatively and dismisses me for it, fine. Again, it wouldn't be a good match for me anyway.
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I went to college and have a professional career. Do I want the same? Sure. But I'm not asking for the guy to bring anything to the table that I can't bring. I don't need or want anyone to take care of me. I make good money, and my income has actually scared guys away because they find it intimidating. So, you are admitting you are qualifying men based on their career. They don't find you intimidating, they find your attitude to be transparent and goldigging. Men and women will never be equal. As an example, men really do not care at all what you do for work. They are not dating with the mentality of "I bring this to the table so she has to as well. So I will be sure to ask what they do for a living" Rich and famous men, truly successful men could care less about your job. They base who they like on feelings. So if you really WANT to be equal, then you would have to actually like people for whom they are, and not what their title is. Similar to how men find a mate. nobody would be married if all men said "She better bring to the table what I bring!"
Leoni Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 The subject matter of this thread can be construed as a troll topic, no offense to the OP. It makes me think of a thread thrown up by a woman asking men which body part is the most important to them, T or A. No matter which option anyone picks, it can be pointed out that the poster is being superficial and that it's an indicator of that gender's superficiality. Realistically speaking, one attribute isn't the sole driver for attraction.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 *shrug* I've dated teachers, attorneys, customer service agents and software developers. Of all the people I've had relationships with, only one made more money than I did. I made more money than my ex-husband and we were together for over 8 years. There's simply no evidence to back up your assumption. I've "qualified" the men in my life based on their treatment of me, compatibility and sense of humor, intelligence, goals and like-minded views concerning morals, values, finances, etc. I'm sure I qualify the men in my life the same way you qualify a woman in your life. I, too, base who I like on feelings, not income. I'm not sure how I could be construed as a "golddigger."
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 The subject matter of this thread can be construed as a troll topic, no offense to the OP. It makes me think of a thread thrown up by a woman asking men which body part is the most important to them, T or A. No matter which option anyone picks, it can be pointed out that the poster is being superficial and that it's an indicator of that gender's superficiality. Realistically speaking, one attribute isn't the sole driver for attraction. You're right, and I've participated in taking this thread off topic. My apologies to the OP.
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