LoveLace Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I've posted about what I like to call my "summer crush" here before...I was casually involved with his roommate for a very short time, although it seemed that K and I talked a lot when I was over there. Those in our circle of friends gave me his number and said I should call him, but I never got the nerve, especially because of the roommate issue. Well it's been several weeks blown over now. Last night I attended a 40th b-day party where both guys were present. The ex "fling" and I smiled and said hi, so there are no hard feelings there. K came over and greeted me happily. He asked about how school is going and he even remembered exactly which course I'm taking right now...gosh not even my family and friends can keep up with my ever-changing schedule...maybe he's just a good listener? He sat down next to me and we chatted; we got on the subject of Yoga for some reason...I asked if he does Yoga and he said, "Well it's better to do in the privacy of your own home...so like when I get MY HOUSE I'll be able to do it if I want to...."....he emphasized the "house" thing but it blew over my head...later on I asked a girl in the group if she thought I should ask him out (he left quickly because he had to get up early today); and her eyes lit up....she said "he's such a great guy and he needs a hot, sweet girlfriend!"....then she said he just bought a house 2 doors down from her and her husband! Anyway, he seemed happy to see me and talk to me, and I still feel like something is there like I always did before. He would be a great catch too...but I'm human so there's a little fear of rejection. Now would be the perfect time to call him, but I wish I knew if the vibes I pick up from him are only in my head, or if they are really there...
Author LoveLace Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 Well I guess no advice is the obvious...just call him d*mit!
daphne Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I'm wondering if you got a vibe, why didnt he ask you out? My guess is that his interest level wasn't high enough.
ximperativx Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Seize the opportunity. I think you should go for it. If you're scared of rejection, maybe try asking him out for something sort of just-friends casual, if that makes sense; and use that to further gauge his interest.
Ronni_W Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Now would be the perfect time to call him, but I wish I knew if the vibes I pick up from him are only in my head, Sounds quite like there may be some of the same in his head -- and/but maybe other part of his head is harbouring some 'weird vibes' about the "ex fling thing." Invite him for "congrats on new house" drinks/dinner or, casually mention, if he prefers, you will come over and cook dinner there (or, if you're like me and microwaves things to carcinogenic cinders, you will bring the Chinese food and sake....er, Japanese food!) So basically...GO FOR IT. Why waste a perfectly good "perfect time"??? : wink : PS - is it possible one or both of you (separately) need to have a quick chat with the "ex fling", to clear any limiting beliefs about that?
Author LoveLace Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 I'm wondering if you got a vibe, why didnt he ask you out? My guess is that his interest level wasn't high enough. Like Ronni said, there is that ex-fling factor that I had with his roommate. I could see why it would make him reluctant. But I also think he's shy; none of our friends have known of him to have a girlfriend since he's been around us. He is also not exactly what you see as "attractive" right away...that grew on me and after talking to him more. He spends a lot of time working, bike riding, swimming...I think he's confident and happy with himself so he might not feel that he "needs" a girlfriend, although everyone certainly seems to think he deserves one. Maybe he fits in that "nice guys finish last" category. In response to ximper, there is a party this weekend that I believe he might go to (but I'm not 100% sure), so that could be another opportunity (for me to wuss out on..) A girl friend of mine works for a home decor place, and he told her he plans to visit this week because she can hook him up with things for his new house. In the event that I don't call, she offered to put in a word for me if she sees him. But is that too high school? I don't know why I'm struggling with it so much..seems silly..
Ronni_W Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 But is that too high school? Er...hate to say it but, yeah, it kinda is (((apology hug))) BUT...perhaps you can tap into the knowledge your g/f will gain, and let her clue you in as to a housewarming gift that he will be just bowled over by how well you already seem to 'know' him? But the rest of it is not "silly" at all! None of us wants to come off as DoNotHavvaClue, and especially not when the guy has such great potential for all things happy and sweet. The additional insight that you offered into him...maybe he DOES lack confidence insofar as his attractiveness and dating skills go? (Sounds a bit like my brother, in that regard. A LOT of confidence in limited areas of his self and life, and extremely shy in many others.) Sending all good wishes for a really nice outcome
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