WiseOne1 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 I usually contact her with ' i miss you, blah blah blah ' ; the last time I contacted her asking her how her birthday went, i got some replies, then she stopped texting. Before that, she texted me thank you for the birthday present and then dissapeared. About a month before, she texted me telling me how she did in her exams ( i ended up giving out to her for smoking again ), but before that she hadnt instigated any contact with me. Dude....hmmmm. you got to start making contact, shes moving on, if you two have have been broken up for 7 months its time for you to start reaching out. From years and years on LS i've seen everything, and if this carries on for 3 more months its gonna be over. The Time is now, but I dont have any ideas, shes really now making any contact nor is she responding to your contact. The best thing would be to wait until she contacts you, which will be in 5 months or so, but thats wayyy to long.
Author daithi Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 Dude....hmmmm. you got to start making contact, shes moving on, if you two have have been broken up for 7 months its time for you to start reaching out. From years and years on LS i've seen everything, and if this carries on for 3 more months its gonna be over. The Time is now, but I dont have any ideas, shes really now making any contact nor is she responding to your contact. The best thing would be to wait until she contacts you, which will be in 5 months or so, but thats wayyy to long. What makes you think she will contact me in five months?. Ive looked for many ways to contact her, but its all the same, the book says sneek back in under the radar as friends!. and then she will eventually start coming back to you slowly.
WiseOne1 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 What makes you think she will contact me in five months?. Ive looked for many ways to contact her, but its all the same, the book says sneek back in under the radar as friends!. and then she will eventually start coming back to you slowly. You are 100% right, being friends with her could work, but i've sample some books that say be her friend " and ive sampled some that say never get caught in the friend zone. And im just saying she has to contact you sooner or later, regardless of her past and regardless if shes over your or not. I think trying to be her friend is the easiest way to start talking to her, call her and tell her you think you too should be friends. Me personally I believe being friends with your ex will work and sooner or later your gonna give it another shot. Go for it.
Author daithi Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 You are 100% right, being friends with her could work, but i've sample some books that say be her friend " and ive sampled some that say never get caught in the friend zone. And im just saying she has to contact you sooner or later, regardless of her past and regardless if shes over your or not. I think trying to be her friend is the easiest way to start talking to her, call her and tell her you think you too should be friends. Me personally I believe being friends with your ex will work and sooner or later your gonna give it another shot. Go for it. Dont want to get caught in the friends zone. Its hard cause I really love this woman, really love her. I finally got the girl and I lost her. I question every day why is she finding all this so easy!
WiseOne1 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Dont want to get caught in the friends zone. Its hard cause I really love this woman, really love her. I finally got the girl and I lost her. I question every day why is she finding all this so easy! You know thats exactly what everyone on LS thinks. How can you and a person be together for so long and tell you they love you, but there moving on like you never exsited! It seems like the ball is really in there court, it seems more like it favors who ever can dump there mate first. It makes you wonder if the person ever cared about youy to begin with. But like "caliguy" says, thats because they detach themselves emotionally from the breakup long before they make the decision to break it off.
Katherineos123 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 She's not. Shes merely putting on her "strong woman" pants. Shes having trouble with it all too. Theres no denying that. You two were in a serious relationship, and although it has been quite some time since the breakup, Im sure she still thinks of you and wonders what could have been. I think the best thing for you to do is to be a friend to her. This way she'll remember all the wonderful things about you that made her fall for you. Maybe she will come back, and maybe she wont, but its a win win situation. You might get her back, but even if you dont, you will still have her as a part of your life, then theres always the possibilities further down the line... If you are going to try to be friends with her. You have to be FRIENDS with her. This means no talking about your past, no talking about your future, and most importantly, no talking about the breakup! This will only push her away further, and she might go running again. If you want to lay down some ground rules though, that might be wise. Such as "I know we're friends and all, but I just cant give you advice/listen to you when you talk about your other romantic relationships. Its just too hard/too weird for me" I think this is best for both of you. And for the time being, all you can do is wait it out. If its gonna happen, its gonna happen. Go out and have some fun with your boys!
Author daithi Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 You know thats exactly what everyone on LS thinks. How can you and a person be together for so long and tell you they love you, but there moving on like you never exsited! It seems like the ball is really in there court, it seems more like it favors who ever can dump there mate first. It makes you wonder if the person ever cared about youy to begin with. But like "caliguy" says, thats because they detach themselves emotionally from the breakup long before they make the decision to break it off. Thats exactly what ive heard that she has done!. She detached herself before she did it. I dont know all of this would not be happening had she just talked to me. What im going to do is get her to IM me when I come back from holiday and go from there.
Author daithi Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 She's not. Shes merely putting on her "strong woman" pants. Shes having trouble with it all too. Theres no denying that. You two were in a serious relationship, and although it has been quite some time since the breakup, Im sure she still thinks of you and wonders what could have been. I think the best thing for you to do is to be a friend to her. This way she'll remember all the wonderful things about you that made her fall for you. Maybe she will come back, and maybe she wont, but its a win win situation. You might get her back, but even if you dont, you will still have her as a part of your life, then theres always the possibilities further down the line... If you are going to try to be friends with her. You have to be FRIENDS with her. This means no talking about your past, no talking about your future, and most importantly, no talking about the breakup! This will only push her away further, and she might go running again. If you want to lay down some ground rules though, that might be wise. Such as "I know we're friends and all, but I just cant give you advice/listen to you when you talk about your other romantic relationships. Its just too hard/too weird for me" I think this is best for both of you. And for the time being, all you can do is wait it out. If its gonna happen, its gonna happen. Go out and have some fun with your boys! Thanks pet, it makes me feel better thinking that she does care, but my girl is an extradonary creature thats just does not look back. She leaves the past behind her like dust in her wake.
WiseOne1 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Katherineos123 Is tottaly right. Hell I got exes from 10 years ago I still think about and I can care less about them. Shes thinking about you, but when you and her do become friends please lay down the rules like "Katherineos123" said. When you become friends with a ex they love to talk about there current BF over and over and over, and its gonna hurt.
Author daithi Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 Katherineos123 Is tottaly right. Hell I got exes from 10 years ago I still think about and I can care less about them. Shes thinking about you, but when you and her do become friends please lay down the rules like "Katherineos123" said. When you become friends with a ex they love to talk about there current BF over and over and over, and its gonna hurt. She wont be talking like that with me I can guarentee it, Im planning to name drop abit, but to be fair my own self confidence is not brilliant so I have only been with one girl (an ex) in seven months and on no dates.
WiseOne1 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 She wont be talking like that with me I can guarentee it, Im planning to name drop abit, but to be fair my own self confidence is not brilliant so I have only been with one girl (an ex) in seven months and on no dates. You have to drop the names. You have to make her see what shes missing, after awhile shes gonna be like I left this?? Sooner or later shes gonna start comparing herself to your current gf and asking questions regarding her, lol she might even end up on LS herself. And then you wanna tell her you and her are no longer talking, and BOOM! Shes gonna say well what do you think about me and you? AHHHHHH you have then...
Author daithi Posted July 30, 2008 Author Posted July 30, 2008 You have to drop the names. You have to make her see what shes missing, after awhile shes gonna be like I left this?? Sooner or later shes gonna start comparing herself to your current gf and asking questions regarding her, lol she might even end up on LS herself. And then you wanna tell her you and her are no longer talking, and BOOM! Shes gonna say well what do you think about me and you? AHHHHHH you have then... Total mind games though, I wish I had done this about 5 months ago, but I was completely depressed all the time. Her plan was to wait for everything to die down and then meet up with me again, but like I said I have not giving her any space. Ha Armageddon would happen before she would end up on here.
WiseOne1 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 Total mind games though, I wish I had done this about 5 months ago, but I was completely depressed all the time. Her plan was to wait for everything to die down and then meet up with me again, but like I said I have not giving her any space. Ha Armageddon would happen before she would end up on here. Really, so she said that she was going to give you another chance in the future? And I know its total mind games, but shes not being fair to you either, regardless you dont stereotype or hold something against someone for problems you had with others in the past. Everyone deserves fresh start. I think its all about who breaks up with who first, If you've ever broken up with someone you know how calm and cool u are, you might think about them but otherwise it feels much better to be the dumper.
Author daithi Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 Really, so she said that she was going to give you another chance in the future? And I know its total mind games, but shes not being fair to you either, regardless you dont stereotype or hold something against someone for problems you had with others in the past. Everyone deserves fresh start. I think its all about who breaks up with who first, If you've ever broken up with someone you know how calm and cool u are, you might think about them but otherwise it feels much better to be the dumper. Yeah maybe at one point, but its now nearly 8 months. I texted her last night and have got no response about having a chat.
WiseOne1 Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Dang, shes ruthless. Most exs atlest like to pick up for the ego boost but she wont even budge. But everytime you message her or call her and she doesnt answer, believe it or not your just pushing her further away. Shes becoming much more confident, her ego is boosting, shes comfortable. How can love ever turn into something like this, and since she didnt pick up or txt back you know have no other choice but to go NC, you cant afford to txt her again. Now nc is gonna be horrible because you have no choice of waiting on her. Lemme ask you a question' If she wanted to be yo friend but had a BF would you be her friend?
Author daithi Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 Dang, shes ruthless. Most exs atlest like to pick up for the ego boost but she wont even budge. But everytime you message her or call her and she doesnt answer, believe it or not your just pushing her further away. Shes becoming much more confident, her ego is boosting, shes comfortable. How can love ever turn into something like this, and since she didnt pick up or txt back you know have no other choice but to go NC, you cant afford to txt her again. Now nc is gonna be horrible because you have no choice of waiting on her. Lemme ask you a question' If she wanted to be yo friend but had a BF would you be her friend? I just sent her a text, saying I would like to talk when I get back from holidays and go no response is all. I dont know maybe there is always a fine line between love and hate. Who knows. She does not have a boyfriend as far as I know. But we where in serious love and if she had of talked to me when she started being unhappy, I would have moved up to be her in a heartbeat. Im never doing long distance again. Ive made mistakes but im a good guy, who looked after her and helped straighten her out. But she has a whole new pool of friends, while im back living with my parents.
Author daithi Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 Dang, shes ruthless. Most exs atlest like to pick up for the ego boost but she wont even budge. But everytime you message her or call her and she doesnt answer, believe it or not your just pushing her further away. Shes becoming much more confident, her ego is boosting, shes comfortable. How can love ever turn into something like this, and since she didnt pick up or txt back you know have no other choice but to go NC, you cant afford to txt her again. Now nc is gonna be horrible because you have no choice of waiting on her. Lemme ask you a question' If she wanted to be yo friend but had a BF would you be her friend? I just sent her a text, saying I would like to talk when I get back from holidays and go no response is all. I dont know maybe there is always a fine line between love and hate. Who knows. She does not have a boyfriend as far as I know. But we where in serious love and if she had of talked to me when she started being unhappy, I would have moved up to be her in a heartbeat. Im never doing long distance again. Ive made mistakes but im a good guy, who looked after her and helped straighten her out. But she has a whole new pool of friends, while im back living with my parents. Im a good guy, who doesnt deserve this. YOu would swear I was the devil himself. This time last year we would be cuddled in bed with her looking in the eyes smiling her ass off. Now she wont even talk with me. Its so annoying and frustrating!. And yes as a first step I would accept it.
WiseOne1 Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 The new pool of friends could be causing the issue for you. Alot if times when people move to a new city or just get a whole new group of friends it makes them distant from the past. They might be helping her move on, for that fact I know they are. Theres no way she can be this strong, there probably trying to push her up on new bfs, you know how friends are. I hate my ex kinda and never want her back, but im changing my mind......I want her back and i gotta get myself a relationship book. She wants to be best friends, we were best friends 5 years before we hooked up, and the other night I told her to just focus on her ex and forget about me. But im gonna buy a relationship book now. Game Time.
Author daithi Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 The new pool of friends could be causing the issue for you. Alot if times when people move to a new city or just get a whole new group of friends it makes them distant from the past. They might be helping her move on, for that fact I know they are. Theres no way she can be this strong, there probably trying to push her up on new bfs, you know how friends are. I hate my ex kinda and never want her back, but im changing my mind......I want her back and i gotta get myself a relationship book. She wants to be best friends, we were best friends 5 years before we hooked up, and the other night I told her to just focus on her ex and forget about me. But im gonna buy a relationship book now. Game Time. I know it is, if she was on her own like me she would be back long ago. I see my friends most weekends , so its a different scenario. I know before when I was getting over somebody else,. I moved and it was just alot more simple to get over this person, and then I met my current ex about six months later. So I presume she will do the same. Plus she is bound to have men in this group showing an interest in her pretty soon!. Well tell you what when you buy the book, tell me what it is and ill swap you mine.
WiseOne1 Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 What are the chances do you think of you getting your ex back?
Author daithi Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 What are the chances do you think of you getting your ex back? Right now between 0 and 10%. In 5 years if she is alone between 20 and 2=50%. In ten years if she is alone between 50 and 80%. I need to bridge the gap between her and me first. Two years to build up a great relationship and 8 months to destroy it.
WiseOne1 Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Right now between 0 and 10%. In 5 years if she is alone between 20 and 2=50%. In ten years if she is alone between 50 and 80%. I need to bridge the gap between her and me first. Two years to build up a great relationship and 8 months to destroy it. Right on, dang thats smart, bridging a gap would be a smart move. But theres only 1 problem, I know you feel diffrent right now. But..... In 5 years your gonna be 1000% over her, your not gonna want her back what so ever. Trust me, you will find someone that makes her look like trash, not "disrespectful" and I know that relationships arent based on looks, but your gonna find someone thats gonna run circles around her. Regardless of it being looks or personality. I'd give you 2 years, I remember when I finally fell out of love with my ex from long ago, I found myself trying to make me love her again, I had gotten so use to love her and thinking about her I tried to bring the feeling back, dumb huh? But once it was gone it was gone, it had been to long.
Author daithi Posted July 31, 2008 Author Posted July 31, 2008 Right on, dang thats smart, bridging a gap would be a smart move. But theres only 1 problem, I know you feel diffrent right now. But..... In 5 years your gonna be 1000% over her, your not gonna want her back what so ever. Trust me, you will find someone that makes her look like trash, not "disrespectful" and I know that relationships arent based on looks, but your gonna find someone thats gonna run circles around her. Regardless of it being looks or personality. I'd give you 2 years, I remember when I finally fell out of love with my ex from long ago, I found myself trying to make me love her again, I had gotten so use to love her and thinking about her I tried to bring the feeling back, dumb huh? But once it was gone it was gone, it had been to long. Maybe I will be. But my brother and his wife spent about 4 years apart and then got married last year because they had reconnected. This is the first time somebody has broke up with me after this long. So im learning as I go if you get me. Maybe I will, but we connect on so many levels, its just that we fit together, its not a strained relationship it never was. All that really got to use was the distance. Yeah from what I see you have to make them think you where the guy they started out with.
WiseOne1 Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 Maybe I will be. But my brother and his wife spent about 4 years apart and then got married last year because they had reconnected. This is the first time somebody has broke up with me after this long. So im learning as I go if you get me. Maybe I will, but we connect on so many levels, its just that we fit together, its not a strained relationship it never was. All that really got to use was the distance. Yeah from what I see you have to make them think you where the guy they started out with. Lol i've heard that before. You bassically have to return 100% to the dude they started to fall in love with. But relationship experts and books, well some of then, says this will push the female away. Ya know times like this makes me wish I never took her back after she messed up that time. If only we could see the furture lol
WiseOne1 Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 I Remember when I told my ex i had a gf, she got soooooooo mad. She started to scream, sounds like she was possed. She cursed me out and treated me diffrent. But I spoke with T Dub, hes a relationship expert, and he informed me to agree with the ex about the breakup. I dont know if I should get in contact with her, or let her get in contact with me first.
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