I need to get my girl back

[daithi]

Hey

 

My name is Steve and im from Ireland. Seven months ago my girlfriend decided to call it a day with me. I admit it was mainly my fault. We where in a long distance relationship for the most part, but had survived two years. We where great together and I truely love her.

 

Towards the end I was dealing with illness, and was making her feel insecure about herself, and told her a few times I couldnt move. I was planning to move in the summer, but as she said she could not do long distance anymore and it should not take her to break up with me to get me to move.

 

Of course she is 100% right. But I have spent the last 7 months without the most beautiful lady in the world, im 24 and she is 21. and I miss her dearly. I recently read a book about getting my ex back. But it mostly involves mind games and I dont want to do that to a woman I love.

 

I was wondering can anybody help me reach out to her and help me get back with her, so I can look into her eyes first thing in the morning again?

 

Thank You

[daithi]

Can anybody help?

[WiseOne1]

Hey

 

My name is Steve and im from Ireland. Seven months ago my girlfriend decided to call it a day with me. I admit it was mainly my fault. We where in a long distance relationship for the most part, but had survived two years. We where great together and I truely love her.

 

Towards the end I was dealing with illness, and was making her feel insecure about herself, and told her a few times I couldnt move. I was planning to move in the summer, but as she said she could not do long distance anymore and it should not take her to break up with me to get me to move.

 

Of course she is 100% right. But I have spent the last 7 months without the most beautiful lady in the world, im 24 and she is 21. and I miss her dearly. I recently read a book about getting my ex back. But it mostly involves mind games and I dont want to do that to a woman I love.

 

I was wondering can anybody help me reach out to her and help me get back with her, so I can look into her eyes first thing in the morning again?

 

Thank You

 

 

I totally understand you, but mostly when people say they cant do long distance anymore, its usually sex!

 

Even long distance makes her feel lonely, like no ones there or makes its the sex theory. And you say you read a relationship book, bassically the relationship book is gonna offer you half of the same advice that LS is gonna offer you.

 

I was in 1 serious LD relationship and I can tell you its wayyy harder than getting someone back that isnt LD. Do you and her still talk?

[daithi]

I totally understand you, but mostly when people say they cant do long distance anymore, its usually sex!

 

Even long distance makes her feel lonely, like no ones there or makes its the sex theory. And you say you read a relationship book, bassically the relationship book is gonna offer you half of the same advice that LS is gonna offer you.

 

I was in 1 serious LD relationship and I can tell you its wayyy harder than getting someone back that isnt LD. Do you and her still talk?

 

I know she was so lonely, when I was not there, she used to call me up crying in the middle of the night, saying I should be there.

 

But I had to move away for a year so I could work, she came down and stayed with me the next summer , she asked me to come back with her as she is still in college in September, but I needed this job for the training it offered. She later told me that this broke her in two, and no for me it wasnt about sex, its about the love i have for her. I used to spend all week looking forward to going to see her and feel her skin against me.

 

Were not really on talking terms, not like we used to be. Ive pushed alot , with letters, emails, calls to get her back (i know wrong!), but I dont know what else to do.

 

So any advice you can offer me will be priceless.

[WiseOne1]

Unlike most of the sistuations here on LS your actually might have a chance.

 

NC is kind of out of the picture and doesnt seem really needed. You need to have the relationship talk with her to see how she responds.

 

But you have to be willing to move, shes not gonna take you back as a long distance relationship. She bassically wants to feel number 1 in your world and wants to feel needed.

 

Now I think its possible for you two to work it out LD, but shes gonna want you to move.

 

So its the job or her, which one do you choose?

[daithi]

Unlike most of the sistuations here on LS your actually might have a chance.

 

NC is kind of out of the picture and doesnt seem really needed. You need to have the relationship talk with her to see how she responds.

 

But you have to be willing to move, shes not gonna take you back as a long distance relationship. She bassically wants to feel number 1 in your world and wants to feel needed.

 

Now I think its possible for you two to work it out LD, but shes gonna want you to move.

 

So its the job or her, which one do you choose?

 

Ive told her id leave the job for her, but she said it should not take her to break up with me for me to move. I am more than willing to move. The big thing with her is that i made her feel insecure about herself, I said we both needed to lose some weight.

 

I want her to feel number 1 in my world. She has told my friends I havent given her any space and is certain its over!. So thats why I was reading the book on how to get your ex back.

 

I was a great boyfriend, and she asked me to marry her last summer, I said she was too young to get married, so you realise how distraught I am that she even talk to me

[WiseOne1]

The Problem with Relationship Books is that they do work!

They just dont work for good, because whatever the problem is that you both had is still there!

 

Now you know the problem in your relationship, and its distance, I think you shouldnt call her or respond, let her do the calling, and then you might wanna start using the advice from the books.

 

The reason I say that is, you just need to get her back, once shes back start making the corrections, fix the issues you had. It proof she must have some feelings for you if she will talk to you, just like your saying its "distraught"

 

P.S people on LS are viewing, its just that most of them never had a LD relationship, so they really dont have any advice on it, there not familiar.

[justaman99]

I totally understand you, but mostly when people say they cant do long distance anymore, its usually sex!

 

That wasn't true for me at all. I couldn't do the long distance anymore because I wanted to be with her and have a REAL relationship. The constant delay in that day coming caused me to break it off the first time.

 

-Just

[WiseOne1]

The First Time?? You came around though.

[justaman99]

The First Time?? You came around though.

 

heh. Yeah the second time we actually had a real relationship instead of this long distance fantasy. This time around she let me go because we were "incompatible". That's a whole other story. Taught me a lot though about things I need to do for myself.

 

-Just

[daithi]

The Problem with Relationship Books is that they do work!

They just dont work for good, because whatever the problem is that you both had is still there!

 

Now you know the problem in your relationship, and its distance, I think you shouldnt call her or respond, let her do the calling, and then you might wanna start using the advice from the books.

 

The reason I say that is, you just need to get her back, once shes back start making the corrections, fix the issues you had. It proof she must have some feelings for you if she will talk to you, just like your saying its "distraught"

 

P.S people on LS are viewing, its just that most of them never had a LD relationship, so they really dont have any advice on it, there not familiar.

 

Do you not think seven months is too long for her to come back?. I really dont know how to approach this. she is pissed at me for sure, and she is having so much fun at college and probably not even thinking of me.

 

So the problem is getting her to think of me, you think blanket silence with her will work?

 

Well If I can get her back, I will fix the issues with the relationship straight away and wont let it go back to what it was.

 

The book basically says. No contact - turn yourself into what she found attractive again - Meet up with her - Drop other girls names into the conversation - Make her Jealous , see you like she used too - Get her to ask you out.

[WiseOne1]

7 Months is not that long, especcially if you and had her something special. Or had something at all.

 

NC and you bassically want to start turning the tables on her, just like shes doing. Quick, how often do you and her get in contact?

[daithi]

The last time we where in contact was about 2 weeks ago, I sent her a present for her birthday, and she texted me thank you and that was basically it. We had one more formal conversation after that, but a day later I sent her a mail telling her how much I miss her and have got no response since (I think she deleted it!).

 

Seen some photos of her on here social network page and man she looks amazing. But every reference to me is deleted.

[WiseOne1]

The last time we where in contact was about 2 weeks ago, I sent her a present for her birthday, and she texted me thank you and that was basically it. We had one more formal conversation after that, but a day later I sent her a mail telling her how much I miss her and have got no response since (I think she deleted it!).

 

Seen some photos of her on here social network page and man she looks amazing. But every reference to me is deleted.

 

OMG this is kinda hard. It doesnt seem like shes willing to even work on things and nor is she paying that much attention.

 

Regardless of what you believe, if you have a Social network you will have to do the same thing, your gonna have to paint the picture that your just fine without her.

 

And if you have any refrences to her on your page, delete them. You need to let her do all of the work, no more work on your behalf. But as far as your concerned shes not thinking of you anymore.

 

 

And if she isnt thinking of you anymore, you need to put that thought in her head, you need to make her think about you, now we just got to think of how your gonna do it.

[daithi]

OMG this is kinda hard. It doesnt seem like shes willing to even work on things and nor is she paying that much attention.

 

Regardless of what you believe, if you have a Social network you will have to do the same thing, your gonna have to paint the picture that your just fine without her.

 

And if you have any refrences to her on your page, delete them. You need to let her do all of the work, no more work on your behalf. But as far as your concerned shes not thinking of you anymore.

 

 

And if she isnt thinking of you anymore, you need to put that thought in her head, you need to make her think about you, now we just got to think of how your gonna do it.

 

I know im being punished for her past aswell which sucks. Photos of me and her are still on it, but no reference is made to her. Exactly my problem, how do I make her think about me.

 

I know she has, but man this girl is so hurt, that she actually said she will not give me the chance to hurt her again.

[WiseOne1]

See this can go anyway, leaving the pictures on the page shows that you still care, which is exactly what you want her to see.

 

But she still knows where you stand and knows your there for her if yall pictures are still on the site. Just think about it ' if you were to remove them, she would really start to think.

 

She says she doesnt wanna give you another chance to hurt her, but as you know thats the whole reason LS exist, even thought the person hurt you or you hurt them, someone wants to get or give another chance.

 

You defintely dont want to call her. The book you read probably informed you that doing the opposite of what you thought was right would work. And the opposite is to get her contacting you and then you shy away from her.

 

Your sistuation seems so easy, the only hard part is that you two really dont have that much contact. Man I wish I was in your place with my ex, me and my ex have a 9% out of 100% of getting back together. You and her have atlest a 75% chance of getting back together.

 

The only thing that kinda makes me feel good, is my and my ex were LD, and shes got another LD BF so it kinda eases my worries a little.

 

Me and my ex has to much contact though, im still the main user on her FAV 5, we talk that much, but im going NC, I give up on my ex, I just dont see it happening.

[daithi]

See this can go anyway, leaving the pictures on the page shows that you still care, which is exactly what you want her to see.

 

But she still knows where you stand and knows your there for her if yall pictures are still on the site. Just think about it ' if you were to remove them, she would really start to think.

 

She says she doesnt wanna give you another chance to hurt her, but as you know thats the whole reason LS exist, even thought the person hurt you or you hurt them, someone wants to get or give another chance.

 

You defintely dont want to call her. The book you read probably informed you that doing the opposite of what you thought was right would work. And the opposite is to get her contacting you and then you shy away from her.

 

Your sistuation seems so easy, the only hard part is that you two really dont have that much contact. Man I wish I was in your place with my ex, me and my ex have a 9% out of 100% of getting back together. You and her have atlest a 75% chance of getting back together.

 

The only thing that kinda makes me feel good, is my and my ex were LD, and shes got another LD BF so it kinda eases my worries a little.

 

Me and my ex has to much contact though, im still the main user on her FAV 5, we talk that much, but im going NC, I give up on my ex, I just dont see it happening.

 

I would say more like 1%, she didnt even text me on our anniversary (Valentines Day), I had to text her. I get information off my mates sometimes about her, and the funny thing is she gives out all this great advice to them. Like to talk stuff out, when she buried it with me.

 

The day before she canned me she was booking a holiday for both of us. Just can get over it. So how do we make her call me?

 

Well ye are talking, that like a hundred times better than my situation, we are not really. I did alot of come back , I miss you and brought up memories and stuff. I think that just pissed her off more.

[WiseOne1]

It kind of makes it hard to use the books advice if you have no contact with the ex, 1st step is to delete her photos of the Social Site.

 

If you were to contact her would you think she would pick up?

[daithi]

It kind of makes it hard to use the books advice if you have no contact with the ex, 1st step is to delete her photos of the Social Site.

 

If you were to contact her would you think she would pick up?

 

No I dont think so, the last time we talked properly, she was very angry with me for calling and that was in February. So it is really hard to get in a situation where she would have to call me!.

 

And I know she not happy with me email me her stuff thats heavy and emotional either. She has been made so hard from her past. No room for forgiveness with her.

[WiseOne1]

No I dont think so, the last time we talked properly, she was very angry with me for calling and that was in February. So it is really hard to get in a situation where she would have to call me!.

 

And I know she not happy with me email me her stuff thats heavy and emotional either. She has been made so hard from her past. No room for forgiveness with her.

 

Whoa, are you saying shes had a few sour relationships in her past?? So bassically shes tooking someone back in the past and that person turned out hurting her?

 

If so, you have to prove that your diffrent from her exs, that you deserve diffrent and its not fair for you to be judged off of there wrong doings.

[daithi]

Whoa, are you saying shes had a few sour relationships in her past?? So bassically shes tooking someone back in the past and that person turned out hurting her?

 

If so, you have to prove that your diffrent from her exs, that you deserve diffrent and its not fair for you to be judged off of there wrong doings.

 

She doesnt usually take people back, The last guy moved away and she dumped him within a couple of weeks. Then when I moved I asked her would she do the same she said no.

 

But she has a history of being seriously hurt (violent) by people.

[WiseOne1]

Thats ****ed up, and she sounds just like my ex, my ex has been mortal kombated in a couple of past relationships also.

 

OK time for a plan 'we must figuire out a way for you to contact her without looking suspicious or needy.

 

Most people on LS would give you the advice of NC, but it seems like NC is not a good option, its only pushing her further away in this predictment.

 

The only time NC needs to be done is once you get her contacting you, "sure its a mind game" but playing fair just isnt working.

 

Shes been hurt a couple of times and shes scared of being hurt again, so shes running for the hills, NC is only helping her get over you.

[daithi]

Thats ****ed up, and she sounds just like my ex, my ex has been mortal kombated in a couple of past relationships also.

 

OK time for a plan 'we must figuire out a way for you to contact her without looking suspicious or needy.

 

Most people on LS would give you the advice of NC, but it seems like NC is not a good option, its only pushing her further away in this predictment.

 

The only time NC needs to be done is once you get her contacting you, "sure its a mind game" but playing fair just isnt working.

 

Shes been hurt a couple of times and shes scared of being hurt again, so shes running for the hills, NC is only helping her get over you.

 

Yeah well I have tried NC, but NC usually turns into come back why arent you responding to me.

 

I know I have to get her to chase me again, but its hard from 120 miles and not many girls in sight to make her jealous.

 

Oh yeah, she believes nothing more , than if she gives me a chance I will just hurt her again.

[WiseOne1]

Yeah well I have tried NC, but NC usually turns into come back why arent you responding to me.

 

I know I have to get her to chase me again, but its hard from 120 miles and not many girls in sight to make her jealous.

 

Oh yeah, she believes nothing more , than if she gives me a chance I will just hurt her again.

 

Before we make the plan! Do you only contact her? Or has she contacted you, if so exactly how long ago was it?

[daithi]

Before we make the plan! Do you only contact her? Or has she contacted you, if so exactly how long ago was it?

 

I usually contact her with ' i miss you, blah blah blah ' ; the last time I contacted her asking her how her birthday went, i got some replies, then she stopped texting.

 

Before that, she texted me thank you for the birthday present and then dissapeared. About a month before, she texted me telling me how she did in her exams ( i ended up giving out to her for smoking again ), but before that she hadnt instigated any contact with me.