whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I questioned her and I put alot of pressure on her,and I would'nt let it go until I broke her and she confessed to everything,SHE was the one who went to him she had been trying to get his attention for awhile,but he kept turning her down he was leaving work oneday and she ran to him and was crying saying how she can't get over him and she missed him has feelings for him,she was even telling him she loved him. Obviously she told him.
Lizzie60 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Obviously she told him. Come on.. I'm sure she said... ' .the other day, he was leaving work and I ran to him and was crying saying how I can't get over him and missed him, has feelings for him, and was even telling him I love him. I don't buy that.. sorry.. She might have confessed but I'm sure she didn't say more than she 'had' to.. Come on people!!!! geezzz..
Darth Vader Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 My wife was trying to make it seem like I was going crazy,when I would bring it up she would just laugh at me and at times she would get angry and walk away and act upset because I did'nt trust her,she even told me she did'nt want me coming on here to read the replys from her thread that she posted because she said I was only going to get brainwashed by unhappy people. I hate her for what she did to me I thought our marriage was healing instead she just went backwards,I know I don't need this in my life nor do I want it in my life. YEP, see? I said that "Now I know your husband isn't reading this Thread"! Or something to that effect, on her Thread! Anyway, Contact a good Men's Rights Lawyer! Then take her ASS to the cleaners! Obviously she didn't want you to read the Thread, or come on here, she has everything to lose! Listen BUDDY, you better get your butt moving FAST on this Divorce, because once she comes on here and reads your story, she's gonna get nasty and sneeky, no if's and's or but's about it! Don't believe that she'll give custody over to you, she's just the person that will use them so you'll have to pay child support! What gives you the Idea that she would give you custody, BTW? Oh, and I do agree with all the posters that suggest Divorcing this wo-- or rather WHATEVER!
Angel1111 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Wow, I'm totally eating my words now. Ok, everyone can say they told me so. I believed her, too. I think everyone has said it all here but I will just add one thing: do not leave your house with your kids. If I could shout those words to you, I would because I can't emphasize the importance of this enough. You and the kids need to stay there. Make her leave. Aside from the obvious reason - because she's the one who cheated and wanted out, there's another one. You will probably get custody of your kids (and you should) just by keeping them in their home, being there with them, and not uprooting them during this time, because it shows that you can give them stability. This is what the courts look for. The kids' mom does not show stability nor does she show any credibility at all based on her past (and present). Despite how deep she thought the hole was before, she has just now dug it so much deeper.....she has no clue.
soda Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 That's called gaslighting. It is one of the main tools of the cheater. Lie, deny and justify. If that means making you think that you are the crazy one, make you think that you are the one cheating(it happens). Actually, if you reread HER posts, you'll find that his wife does try to pin cheating on him. Her explanation is sheer stupidity. I know that many will argue that affairs only happen because something is wrong or missing in the marriage. But I think there are some instances when what's wrong in the marriage is simply that a faithful spouse is married to a creep. It sounds like this woman went back to the affair, but the OM didn't. He rejected her, turned over her emails, and turned her into her supervisor. She gave up everything for what?
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 People need to understand that affairs are not caused by the marriage being bad on it's on. You can have a good marriage but a rotten spouse that whatever reason deems it neccessary to do whatever they please. Being a lazy husband or lazy wife, alot of times does not force a spouse to cheat. Cheating is a choice. and in the case this woman chooses to cheat, the husband didnt force his wife to do anything. So from now on I want posters to take into exception that person that cheats is messed up, not the marriage itself.
Author Float On Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 It is official we are getting a divorce,my feelings are mixed I'm hurt for my children and at the same time I have a sense of peace, this was not a tough choice how could I possibly stay with her for my sanity and health I need to get away from her we do not have a healthy relationship she is self destructive a selfesh person. You guys just don't realize what she was putting me through she was literally trying to make it seem like I was going crazy she was putting it in my head saying things like "I really think you need to get help because I really think your going crazy"she would look my straight in the eye and say you have nothing to worry about I would never go there with him again. I know she would give me the kids ,because for some reason a few weeks ago she told me "I would never take the kids away rom you if we ever got a divorce because I know you would do a great job taking care of them and I know how much you love them ". I really don't care at this point what she reads she know's I got her i got her good om emailed EVERYTHING to me it's all there.
theobserver Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 All I can say is Good Job and thank God,Buddah Batman whatever you made this decision it needed to be done. I wish you a clean divorce (is there such a thing) and the best of luck getting your life back on track with your children.
John Who Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Wow all I can say is wow!! I'm kinda at a lost for words here guess all I can say is stay strong if a divorce is what you really want and I hope it is,stick to it do not let her change your mind. Good luck in whatever your future holds.
michelangelo Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 You need to protect your current situation as best you can. Seek legal representation who can help you get at least temporary child and spousal support order in place while the more permanent agreement is hashed out. Do NOT rely on your "wife" to protect your interests or your children's.
soda Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 You guys just don't realize what she was putting me through she was literally trying to make it seem like I was going crazy she was putting it in my head saying things like "I really think you need to get help because I really think your going crazy"she would look my straight in the eye and say you have nothing to worry about I would never go there with him again. . Actually, I think there are many of us here who do understand what she was putting you through. My wife, too, tried to convince me that I needed to get help. Any time that I tried to talk to her about her inappropriate relationship, she would make it seem like I was crazy and paranoid...and she'd deny, deny, deny that ANYTHING was going on. She'd tell me how much I'd hurt her by even thinking that she could possibly be having an EA...and the whole time, she was still in contact with OM. She'd invent reasons to explain why she just happened to be where he was. Don't count on wife to give you the kids. Get a lawyer.
twice_shy Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Come on.. I'm sure she said... ' .the other day, he was leaving work and I ran to him and was crying saying how I can't get over him and missed him, has feelings for him, and was even telling him I love him. I don't buy that.. sorry.. She might have confessed but I'm sure she didn't say more than she 'had' to.. Come on people!!!! geezzz.. Not everyone is that gutless. Besides, there is more than likely some paraphrasing going on here by the OP.
FitMomma Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Float, I'm terribly sorry to hear about what has happened. You must be devastated, but realize that you are incredibly strong for being there for your children and doing what is best for you all. Stay strong for your children, lean on others for support for yourself, and know that there is a rainbow at the end.
mental_traveller Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 1. Get a lawyer immediately. She is absolutely toxic to you and deserve better. 2. Immediately contact the OM's wife and expose this. 3. Your wife indeed is an idiot. Please don't waste your life on someone like this. 4. If you get cheated on by another woman in future, dump/divorce her asap. Fool you once, shame on me. Fool you twice, shame on you. NEVER give 2nd chances. 5. Kick her out of the house asap. Tell neighbours, relatives, friends, colleagues, her HR dept etc.
mental_traveller Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 My wife was trying to make it seem like I was going crazy,when I would bring it up she would just laugh at me and at times she would get angry and walk away and act upset because I did'nt trust her,she even told me she did'nt want me coming on here to read the replys from her thread that she posted because she said I was only going to get brainwashed by unhappy people. I hate her for what she did to me I thought our marriage was healing instead she just went backwards,I know I don't need this in my life nor do I want it in my life. So, now you know what a manipulator and liar she is. Your last paragraph shows you already know what to do. "I don't need this in my life nor do I want it in my life" So - get "it" out of your life.
Darth Vader Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 It is official we are getting a divorce,my feelings are mixed I'm hurt for my children and at the same time I have a sense of peace, this was not a tough choice how could I possibly stay with her for my sanity and health I need to get away from her we do not have a healthy relationship she is self destructive a selfesh person. You guys just don't realize what she was putting me through she was literally trying to make it seem like I was going crazy she was putting it in my head saying things like "I really think you need to get help because I really think your going crazy"she would look my straight in the eye and say you have nothing to worry about I would never go there with him again. I know she would give me the kids ,because for some reason a few weeks ago she told me "I would never take the kids away rom you if we ever got a divorce because I know you would do a great job taking care of them and I know how much you love them ". I really don't care at this point what she reads she know's I got her i got her good om emailed EVERYTHING to me it's all there. I guess I'll say the same thing others are saying, Don't take her word about the children living with you, expect your STB-HEX to do a 180 on you and try to screw you more on top of what she's already done, DONT TRUST HER WORD! It's not worth ****! MAKE IT HAPPEN IN REALITY! She's gonna turn nasty! They almost always do!
stillafool Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 I'm glad you decided to get rid of her. It sounds like she wants you to have the kids so she can have a free and single life. As far as her saying "I would not take the kids from you, etc." She's got a lot of nerve she should hope you don't take them from her as she is the cheater. You have done nothing wrong except trusting a cheating whore. You may not realize it now but you will have a happy life because you have done the right thing. Life will reward you trust me and life will reward your wife for her actions as well. I'm glad you aren't staying with someone who just uses you as a paycheck.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 31, 2008 Posted July 31, 2008 I know she would give me the kids ,because for some reason a few weeks ago she told me "I would never take the kids away rom you if we ever got a divorce because I know you would do a great job taking care of them and I know how much you love them ". I read your stbxw's posts. Divorce is the best thing for you! She is a complete idiot. She goes WAAYYY beyond normal stupidity. Selfish people are not worth your time. In regards to the kids. I would not believe a word she says. She doesn't care about them, or you. That means she will use them freely to hurt or get at you if she chooses. Plus, she is a complete liar... and you know that. So, why believe the words that come from her mouth? Best just not listen to her, and draw your own conclusions from her actions.
Order & Chaos Posted August 1, 2008 Posted August 1, 2008 You poor man. I would think therapy would be a big help to yourself and your children.
pelicanpreacher Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 I'm curious as to why your wife encouraged you to get involved with posting on LS if her intention was to continue the affair. Was this a diversionary tactic to consume your time for the purpose of distracting your attention away from the additional time she wished to devote to her affair or was she subtley attempting to get you to end the marriage by exposing you to the host of negative feedback you'd be surely exposed to advocating ending the relationship by coming here? What was her thinking here?
Angel1111 Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 I'm curious as to why your wife encouraged you to get involved with posting on LS if her intention was to continue the affair. Was this a diversionary tactic to consume your time for the purpose of distracting your attention away from the additional time she wished to devote to her affair or was she subtley attempting to get you to end the marriage by exposing you to the host of negative feedback you'd be surely exposed to advocating ending the relationship by coming here? What was her thinking here? He can probably answer you better than I can but, based on what he has said, I can take a stab at it. It seems she still wanted to be with the OM but he rejected her. She may have been holding her ground about staying at the job because she didn't want to be away from the OM.
pelicanpreacher Posted August 4, 2008 Posted August 4, 2008 He can probably answer you better than I can but, based on what he has said, I can take a stab at it. It seems she still wanted to be with the OM but he rejected her. She may have been holding her ground about staying at the job because she didn't want to be away from the OM. Ahhhhh! I forgot all about that "caveat"!
Author Float On Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 I have moved out a close friend of my family rented me out a townhome,I have gotten a job I am still in school. I have the kids with me I hate having them in daycare,but I have no choice,and of course I am getting a divorce. Right now she does'nt seem to care much she's heartbroken about om,I asked her before I moved out why could'nt she be honest with me about having feelings for om,why did she pretend she wanted to be with me and work on the marriage,she said at first she wanted to be with om but he was no longer avaliable and then she said slowly she started to get feelings for me again,but having to work with om and seeing him everyday she could never forget about him,and she realized she still had feelings for him. I told her she wasted my time,she delayed my healing process,she played with my emotions. I told her I really think she needs to get help because I really think she is obsessed with this guy.She just stays quiet right now she doesnt care about much and I see it,shes depressed I also just found out she has been put on meds for being depressed.
Author Float On Posted August 4, 2008 Author Posted August 4, 2008 My wife wanted to come on here because she thought people would side with her about it being ok to work with the om/ow,and when she seen that people did not agree with her,she did not like it so she told me I should'nt come on anymore because I was only going to get brainwashed by people who are unhappy because they have been cheated on and dumped. Actually after reading all the responds I was more sure she was still cheating and working there for the wrong reasons,and I started to push and push her more into telling me and she gave in I basically had her cornered the day om decided he no longer wanted her,she could'nt handle anything that day,I literally questioned her for hours until she cracked.
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