bremily Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I dont know if this is the right category, but I will give it a shot. My wife are both in our second marriages. I pay my ex wife per our separation agreement without fail. My wife's ex husband no longer has to pay spousal support,but he does have to pay child support. He is suppose topay on certain dates each month, but never does. To make matters more difficult, I paid for her kids (my new step kids) to go to summer camp and now I am going to have to pay for their private school because he wont assume that responsibility either. I have asked my wife to please make sure that he pays on time the support because I have said the financial pressure is very difficult to handle all the time. Am i wrong for asking her to make sure he pays his support on time.
silktricks Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Am i wrong for asking her to make sure he pays his support on time. How do you expect her to be able to do that? and I'm curious - what was her response?
Author bremily Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 By emailing or calling him and reminding him of his obligations. Under th elaw here, (and he knows this) if you fail topay child support, they will take you rlicense away immediatley. That is why he always paid her child support and didnt care if he paid spousal. I just want her to make some attempts in getting him to pay on time. I am not expecting her to take him to court at this point. I want to see the effort.
Tripper Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 he does have to pay child support. He is suppose topay on certain dates each month, but never does. Am i wrong for asking her to make sure he pays his support on time. There's nothing worse than having to chase your money! This guy is a deadbeat dad. You're not wrong for asking her to follow up, but if she's not getting anywhere I would suggest you have a talk with him and explain his responsibilities. You could also explain that if he continues to abdicate these responsibilities you will take legal action to have his wages garnisheed.
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 No he should be paying what's legally obligated to pay! and tell your wife that!!!
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I agree that he needs to be paying on time. What you need to do is keep track of the times he has failed to pay and keep your wife abreast of it. And stay on her about keeping the law involved so that this guy does not wind up like so many men and women who become deadbeats. Now for his side, maybe you should find out how much he is actually making. One thing I don't agree with when it comes to child support is the amount of money people are forced to pay out. And I totally disagree with the cold-hearted response of most judges telling a person to get a second job to support their kids. I mean, seriously, as long as a person is making sure the child has enough food to eat, replacing clothing when necessary, and putting money towards joint educational and family functions, that should be good enough. DNR
Author bremily Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 I am paying towards my wife's kids education funds and I am paying for her son to play hockey as well. he said he didnt want his son to play, so he wont pay. He is living a 4000 plus sq ft home and driving a $45,000 vehicle. essentially he wanted to impress hi gf with what he could afford and screw his ex out of the child support in a timely fashion.
silktricks Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I am paying towards my wife's kids education funds and I am paying for her son to play hockey as well. he said he didnt want his son to play, so he wont pay. He is living a 4000 plus sq ft home and driving a $45,000 vehicle. essentially he wanted to impress hi gf with what he could afford and screw his ex out of the child support in a timely fashion. Her ex should definitely be paying. No question. No ifs ands or buts. (The man sounds like a creep, frankly). The problem I see here (personally) though is not whether or not he pays, but rather your apparent attitude about what your wife's role in that should or should not be. You two - you and your wife - need to be partners if your marriage is going to work long-term. You need to be on the same wave length about this and a lot of things. Have you talked to her about what's going on with her about the situation? You say you want to see the effort. I'm assuming you want to see her effort to get him to pay ontime??? Has she said why she does not do that? Does she feel it is useless? That it would make it worse? Is she afraid of him? Does she want to try to keep things settled so he stays in touch with his kids? There can be a lot of reasons why someone resists doing something. Can you not take a stand together? Now - on to a different question (concern)... You seem resentful of her children/child. They aren't your children biologically, but you married their mom. That makes them your children now, too. They live with you. How they feel about themselves will depend more upon you and how you think of them and treat them then on their biological father. That's a big responsibility for you, but you've already taken it on. If you can treat them and think of them as your (you the couple) children - instead of her children the whole family will be happier. If I'm outta whack here, that's really good .
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I am paying towards my wife's kids education funds and I am paying for her son to play hockey as well. he said he didnt want his son to play, so he wont pay. He is living a 4000 plus sq ft home and driving a $45,000 vehicle. essentially he wanted to impress hi gf with what he could afford and screw his ex out of the child support in a timely fashion. You have to convince your wife to bring this up with the courts. Especially if he has and is doing what he is doing. It is apparent it does not make you happy with having to fork out the money you have to when another man definitely is suppose to be doing it. You need to stand up for yourself and for those kids by getting your wife to stand up for them. I its not going to be easy, but you have to do it or this guy is going to get way with having his cake and eating it too. DNR
preyedon Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Been there done that...............I paid a lot of child support to my ex while we had shared custody, CSED screwed me everytime the could and made my life hell with their constant goof-ups and mistakes while my wages were garnished and I ALWAYS paid. Her ex never paid a dime and they never seemed to do anything about it so I worked two jobs and paid for everyone with my new wife, when she quit working to raise our kid I still paid..... I hope your new wife is good to you and lets you know that she appreciates you for it. If she can't do anything about it do not give her a hard time, just man up and hope that she respects you.
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 You and your wife need to talk to a lawyer and get him to pay. Otherwise his visitation rights should be taken away. That's crap that you have to pay for her kids, your stepkids. Don't mean that meanly, it's just that it's HIS responsibility and he's being a jerk. I have to ask, does your wife work? It's not fair that you have to pay for her kids stuff. Extra activities are one thing, but to pay for their private school is another! Talk to the lawyer and see what the courts can do to get her ex to pay up.
troubadour Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Bremily, welcome to the world of being married for the second time. The sooner you get used to this kind of situations the better for you. After all there is a reason why statisticly only about 35% ot these marriages last.
Author bremily Posted July 29, 2008 Author Posted July 29, 2008 You and your wife need to talk to a lawyer and get him to pay. Otherwise his visitation rights should be taken away. That's crap that you have to pay for her kids, your stepkids. Don't mean that meanly, it's just that it's HIS responsibility and he's being a jerk. I have to ask, does your wife work? It's not fair that you have to pay for her kids stuff. Extra activities are one thing, but to pay for their private school is another! Talk to the lawyer and see what the courts can do to get her ex to pay up. SHe has a lawyer and she has been holding off going back to the lawyer because of the kids. She has always said she wants to have some peace with the ex, which I totally understand. I have peace with my ex and it doe smake life easier. And I said to her all I want is that he pay the child support. I willpay for school and the extras. Just get him to pay what he agreed to pay on a monthly basis. The good news is that she read him the riot act yesterday and she totally had my back. I give her all the credit in the world for standing up to him. Now we will see what happens. Whether he pays or not.
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