Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 A hot and cold co-worker: He once asked me if he was "Cute, sexy, or handsome?" To which responded,"Can you please add more options to the list? How about ugly? What about fugly?" And I made a joke of it. I honestly believe he wants to keep the option there because we work for a small company, but I'd rather not keep sparks going for the remainder of my time working for the company. He mentioned that he was going to a happy hour spot then dance club afterward. Instead of inviting myself or asking for permission, I simply said, "Okay." He mentioned it 2 more times before the day was through. Finally, when we were walking to our cars, he asked if I was going. I told him I don't go to places like that alone. IOW DO YOU WANT TO GO TOGETHER YOU GROWN AZZ MAN????!!! He said he wanted to meet up. So when I call, he says if his guy friend isn't going, he's not going. I then asked him what he asked me for. When he could hear the irritation in my voice, he said that he was still going to have dinner at the lounge, but he wouldn't go dancing if his friend didn't go. WTF? I like simplicity. Pick one or the other-friends or more. I told him to have fun. I was polite, but not friendly this morning. He keeps asking what's wrong. Is it possible that he just needs some entertainment through the day? Why do things have to be this way?
imbewildered Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 A hot and cold co-worker: He once asked me if he was "Cute, sexy, or handsome?" To which responded,"Can you please add more options to the list? How about ugly? What about fugly?" And I made a joke of it. I honestly believe he wants to keep the option there because we work for a small company, but I'd rather not keep sparks going for the remainder of my time working for the company. He mentioned that he was going to a happy hour spot then dance club afterward. Instead of inviting myself or asking for permission, I simply said, "Okay." He mentioned it 2 more times before the day was through. Finally, when we were walking to our cars, he asked if I was going. I told him I don't go to places like that alone. IOW DO YOU WANT TO GO TOGETHER YOU GROWN AZZ MAN????!!! He said he wanted to meet up. So when I call, he says if his guy friend isn't going, he's not going. I then asked him what he asked me for. When he could hear the irritation in my voice, he said that he was still going to have dinner at the lounge, but he wouldn't go dancing if his friend didn't go. WTF? I like simplicity. Pick one or the other-friends or more. I told him to have fun. I was polite, but not friendly this morning. He keeps asking what's wrong. Is it possible that he just needs some entertainment through the day? Why do things have to be this way? This guy believes that if he does not ask for what he wants directly then he is somewhat buffered against possible disappointment or rejection. He is acting more like a typical woman - he is hinting rather that asking,and behaved obtusely and ambiguously to avoid an outright "No" from you. In so doing he annoyed the crap out of you and missed a good opportunity. Guys have to deal with this wishy washy dithering frequently when dating too. Annoying ain't it ?
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 This guy believes that if he does not ask for what he wants directly then he is somewhat buffered against possible disappointment or rejection. He is acting more like a typical woman - he is hinting rather that asking,and behaved obtusely and ambiguously to avoid an outright "No" from you. In so doing he annoyed the crap out of you and missed a good opportunity. Guys have to deal with this wishy washy dithering frequently when dating too. Annoying ain't it ? I'm so sorry for you. If this is what you go through all the time... Good grief! I'm behaving in the same way he is because he isn't giving me an opportunity to just be honest. I would consider dating him, but I didn't get the dancing part. He wanted to go to happy hour, but would only go dancing with his male friend. WTF???
imbewildered Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I'm so sorry for you. If this is what you go through all the time... Good grief! I'm behaving in the same way he is because he isn't giving me an opportunity to just be honest. I would consider dating him, but I didn't get the dancing part. He wanted to go to happy hour, but would only go dancing with his male friend. WTF??? Yes, I agree ,WTF indeed ! The 'dancing with his friend' part is kind of gay. You may want to rethink dating this 'male'. Geez any guy worth his alligator handbag would never go dancing with his bud over a hottie. This guy lacks confidence, boldness and possibly testosterone. I have an idea - I will take you dancing. I bet you like Salsa and perhaps a slow Rumba about midnight. Be ready Friday at 8pm and look smokin' hot.
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 The 'dancing with his friend' part is kind of gay. You may want to rethink dating this 'male'. Geez any guy worth his alligator handbag would never go dancing with his bud over a hottie. This guy lacks confidence, boldness and possibly testosterone. I have an idea - I will take you dancing. I bet you like Salsa and perhaps a slow Rumba about midnight. Be ready Friday at 8pm and look hot. LOL, How did you know I like Salsa? Anyway, it's more of a dance club for singles. This morning he's all in my face asking if I'm mad at him. Then he tells me he has an event for us to go to. He whips out a speed-dating flyer, with a singles cruise! I want to punch him in his throat.
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 A hot and cold co-worker: He once asked me if he was "Cute, sexy, or handsome?" To which responded,"Can you please add more options to the list? How about ugly? What about fugly?" And I made a joke of it. ... Why do guys ask this? It's like a girl asking "do these jeans make my butt look big?"; it's a question that should never be asked!! An honest answer will only have bad results. As to his attitude overall, Bewildered nailed it; he's asking you without asking you. It's pathetic that he got that close to openly asking you, and then waffled at the last minute. Granted, I get shy around chicks, but when I'm going for it, I go for it with both barrels blazing. I'd rather get shot down than get shot down while feeling like a wuss. Then he tells me he has an event for us to go to. He whips out a speed-dating flyer, with a singles cruise!An event for US to go to ... a SINGLES cruise. Okay, that's just warped. Does he realize the whole point of those things is to hook up with someone else there, not to bring the person you want to date with you?? The next time you want to punch him, please, go with that feeling.
imbewildered Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I want to punch him in his throat. Hell, me too ! Oh, write our Friday date time on your fridge... !
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 Hell, me too ! Oh, write our Friday date time on your fridge... ! Will do, my little Salsa King.
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 Why do guys ask this? It's like a girl asking "do these jeans make my butt look big?"; it's a question that should never be asked!! An honest answer will only have bad results. As to his attitude overall, Bewildered nailed it; he's asking you without asking you. It's pathetic that he got that close to openly asking you, and then waffled at the last minute. Granted, I get shy around chicks, but when I'm going for it, I go for it with both barrels blazing. I'd rather get shot down than get shot down while feeling like a wuss. An event for US to go to ... a SINGLES cruise. Okay, that's just warped. Does he realize the whole point of those things is to hook up with someone else there, not to bring the person you want to date with you?? The next time you want to punch him, please, go with that feeling. Right, it's like he wants me to want him and that's it. Weird and ridiculous...I just wonder if any guys out there know a guy like that and what his reasoning is.
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 He's now telling me he's making stir-fry and wine for dinner alone tonight...
xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 He's now telling me he's making stir-fry and wine for dinner alone tonight... :lmao::lmao: Oh virgo, you really don't want to date a guy like that.
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 :lmao::lmao: Oh virgo, you really don't want to date a guy like that. I know, right? I try to be understanding but my goodness...He can be very sweet at times, but I would probably wind up in prison if I deal with him. Now he's serving me pizza at my desk...
2sunny Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 i would basically and bluntly tell him: i suppose if you wanted to date me you would ask me out... then say NOTHING. see what he responds with. what he tells you after that will show his intentions.
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 i would basically and bluntly tell him: i suppose if you wanted to date me you would ask me out... then say NOTHING. see what he responds with. what he tells you after that will show his intentions. Good idea. I'll try it. On my way to Awkward Town U.S.A.!
CommitmentPhobe Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I don't see the logic. If you think he's dropping hints that he wants you to go out with him and you like him why not drop a big fat hint back go out with him? If you think he's a silly man that you don't want to go out with why are you posting about it? Obviously you don't like him, because you are posting that he's a silly man, so maybe he's right to be pretty guarded about asking you out. You sound quite right for each other in your attitudes though....
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 I don't see the logic. If you think he's dropping hints that he wants you to go out with him and you like him why not drop a big fat hint back go out with him? If you think he's a silly man that you don't want to go out with why are you posting about it? Obviously you don't like him, because you are posting that he's a silly man, so maybe he's right to be pretty guarded about asking you out. You sound quite right for each other in your attitudes though.... I agree with everything you've said. When I say things about him, it's in a playful sort of way. I'd never hurt him physically or anything like that. He does have really good qualities, but I don't like rejection and I'm assuming he doesn't either. I'm about to ask him now though. So, here goes nothing...
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 He wants to be friends, guys: Subject:I don't want this to be awkward but... ME: I thought about a few things and would like to clear the air. Have you considered dating or have you always thought of us as strictly friends? HIM: I don’t think it will be awkward or afraid to be blunt. I have very few female friends so when I gain them I make sure not to cross that line. Just like the girl next door shes real cool but I don’t really wanna cross that line because of the possible outcome.
CommitmentPhobe Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Sounds like you've had a lucky escape to me....
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 Sounds like you've had a lucky escape to me.... I'm not holding my knees to my chest in the bathroom rocking back and forth or anything...
CommitmentPhobe Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I'm not holding my knees to my chest in the bathroom rocking back and forth or anything... lol I should hope not But at least now you know, it's always better that way I find...
Author Virgo1982 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 lol I should hope not But at least now you know, it's always better that way I find... Exactly! Thanks for your assistance.
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