Melrapuo Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I posted a story about a week or two ago explaining my story. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1756833#post1756833 (update on it. She dumped the guy she left me for after a month, but told me she still wants to date other people. Says she doesn't want us to get back together and have regrets. I took it as an "I wanna date other people so I can avoid dating you/screw around with others." Whether or not that's what it means, I'm not taking any chances, cuz I don't need this crap. Did NC until the incident occurred on Thursday.) On Thursday, one of my friends (who has hated my ex for a long time now) decided it would be a good idea to confront her about breaking up with me/cheating on me. From what I heard, it was more of a conversation than a shouting match. Things went back and forth, and my friend walked out of the room. When he came back, she was crying, and her bff was yelling at my friend for starting it. Here's the deal. At this point I was finally accepting that things were over (for now). I know she's way too immature for me at this point, is probably confused about what she wants in her life, whatever. That's her problem. The thing is, later that night I got texts from both my friend and her about the situation. He was explaining what happened, and I got angry at him cuz, despite being appreciative for sticking up for me, it wasn't any of his business to do so. She texted me about "my friend" (he was a friend to us both at one point) treating her like crap, making her feel like a jerk. I've been trying to stick to NC now, was doing fine until this crap. I jsut sent her one text stating that it was between the two of them, and that she should go to him for the fight, not me, because I wasn't involved in the first place. Now here's my dilemma. I've come to the conclusion that its pretty much over. There's always the potential that she may someday come up to me and say she made a mistake, wants to get back with me; but at this point I don't expect that at all. My problem is this - I don't want her thinking I was behind this whole fight. I went to my friend (the one who started it) for advice, not to add fuel to the fire for him to attack my ex with. So what do I do? I already confronted him about it, and he's apologized. As for her, I don't want her thinking I started it. I was finally gaining control over the situation, and my life at least. Now its like more crap has been thrown at me. I want her to know I wasn't behind it, because its the most childish thing that anyone could do. But at the same time I still wanna stand my ground and abide to NC. I'm mad at both of them for coming to me, as if I was supposed to support what he did, or have my ex try to have me keep my friend on a leash. I'm in the middle of my own situation, I don't need people trying to pull me to one side or another. So, I have two questions. Am I allowed to be mad at my friend? And how/can I fix anything with this situation? I'm not trying to be a doormat, but at the same time I wanna preserve my own dignity and pride by showing that I'm not some douche that would try cheap tactics just to piss off my ex; I'm better than that.
JustinWolf Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 You told her it wasn't you. That's it, it's done. Go back to NC and as for your friend he did what he thought was best, friends are there forever while a gf not-so. Forgive him, go back to NC and that's it.
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I'd let it go. I don't blame your friend for being angry at her. I'd be apt to go off on someone who hurt my friend as well- so try to be forgiving. ;-) As for the ex- stick with no contact. You told her you had nothing to do with it- so there really isn't anything else left to say. And she SHOULD feel like a jerk for cheating on you...
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