xpaperxcutx Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I think I'm a pretty good person in general. I have alot of things going on for me, I've graduated high school, and am about to enter college; my parent's are (somewhat) respectful of my needs to be independent; my friends are all there to support me when I need them, there's really not much to ask for. Then there are the people that I meet on occasions who ask me why I'm still single, to which I reply I'm happy being single, and then the follow up question of why ( again), to which I would then reply (rather exasperatingly) because I hate relationships. They then brush off my answers and still try to pursue me. A few weeks back I was pursued by A, D, and Z. All three whom I have rejected. Then there was six pack guy. Nothing much to say there. Now A's back followed by a few other guys whom I have no other interest than to be friends with. I mean is it so wrong to be nice? Most of my friends say I'm a very outgoing person ( although I sometimes disagree) but tend to mistake my social behavior for flirtation. For example people call me alot. Most of my phone calls tend to last for hours before I get yelled for overcharges added to my calls. Just recently ( by which I mean today) A emailed me a letter about my so- called " behaviour". He accuses me for being a far too interesting girl to be given up so easily, but that I apparently tend to do "this" often with people. By this he meant that I had ignored his last phone call. I admit I was very uneasy after reading his letter. Looking back, I've never really had any interest in guys that pursued me, and more often than not, when they ask me to go out with them, I would make up excuses such as family problems and getting sick so as to avoid having to go out with them. Most of the them stops calling. But the more insistent ones still continue to call or text once in a while out of the blue hoping I'd respond. I'd ignored them all. Yet, when it comes to guys that I personally like, I pursue like crazy to the point where I get attached easily. They're the ones that hurt me the most. G was one of them. He stopped calling after the first date. Now, I feel like there's something psychologically wrong with me. I still get scared when I get asked on dates. In the case of six pack guy, I am admitting now that i lied about having the flu, but I got queasy up to the point that I felt I was going to get sick if I made the date. So I came up the worst lie ever hoping I get away with it. Is something wrong with me?
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 yes. You seem to enjoy games. Maybe intimacy issues. Here is the problem. When the female is the pursuer, it will generally never work out. It might for a while, but the man for some reason is not all that into you. Thus you have to chase him. He will be looking for someone better. He might stick around for the sex. But when you are turned off by men who pursue you, you are turning yourself off to men who actually like you. There is nothing more frustrating for men than to have to play these silly games. Don't call too much. Don't appear to be too eager. Don't express your feelings. Dont be too nice. Make them wonder what you are doing, Don't call them. Blow them off a few times. This seems to be an American phenomenom. When you travel the world and date women from other cultures they feel you are extremely cold, and you cant believe how warm they are. You never want to date an American woman again that you simply cant be yourself with.
jadedone Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 So six pack guy was partially justified. Figures. He went a little overboard, but he was right about you. You need to stop ignoring guys and just straight up tell them you are not interested. YOu may think you are being nice, but you are actually just pissing them off.
trubella Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Now, I feel like there's something psychologically wrong with me. I still get scared when I get asked on dates. In the case of six pack guy, I am admitting now that i lied about having the flu, but I got queasy up to the point that I felt I was going to get sick if I made the date. So I came up the worst lie ever hoping I get away with it. Is something wrong with me? yes there is.. i dont know why but when i read your recent posts about 6pack guy i thought "how convenient you would be sick right around the time you agreed to go on a date with him" not to mention you would nit-pick everything he did as if you were intentionally trying to sabotage things with him. thats kindof wierd you would go to that length to avoid a guy. if you didnt want to go you shouldve been upfront about it.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 yes. You seem to enjoy games. Maybe intimacy issues. Here is the problem. When the female is the pursuer, it will generally never work out. It might for a while, but the man for some reason is not all that into you. Thus you have to chase him. He will be looking for someone better. He might stick around for the sex. But when you are turned off by men who pursue you, you are turning yourself off to men who actually like you. There is nothing more frustrating for men than to have to play these silly games. Don't call too much. Don't appear to be too eager. Don't express your feelings. Dont be too nice. Make them wonder what you are doing, Don't call them. Blow them off a few times. This seems to be an American phenomenom. When you travel the world and date women from other cultures they feel you are extremely cold, and you cant believe how warm they are. You never want to date an American woman again that you simply cant be yourself with. I don't like games, and I didn't even knew I was playing them. I don't know, it's just most guys who like me are guys I'm not really attracted to, or when I am attracted to them, their personality somewhat reminds me of my ex.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 yes there is.. i dont know why but when i read your recent posts about 6pack guy i thought "how convenient you would be sick right around the time you agreed to go on a date with him" not to mention you would nit-pick everything he did as if you were intentionally trying to sabotage things with him. thats kindof wierd you would go to that length to avoid a guy. if you didnt want to go you shouldve been upfront about it. The thing about six pack guy was that I was really attracted to him, but over the time period that we've gotten to know each other, I found that I disliked his shallow personality. And I don't like someone that hardly ever calls. To me that just cries disinterest. Why even bother to talk to me when you can't even pick up the phone to call me for a change?
monkey00 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 And I don't like someone that hardly ever calls. To me that just cries disinterest. Why even bother to talk to me when you can't even pick up the phone to call me for a change? I can recall such situations, quite a bugger really. And often it is a red flag of disinterest. Anyway I think this always falls back to just wanting what we can't have. I admit I'm a lot like this sometimes or most of the time and I'd hate to say but I take people for granted too often...especially women that are interested. But in any case women are hardly ever as forward as guys are when revealing their interest. As for the being happy single thing. It's not necessarily a bad thing, I was happy being single when I was younger. I'm still ok with it now. But I think that for some people they just grow used to being in that situation that a lot of times it's hard to pull themselves out of it. But hey I think this situation is much better than people who are always needy/eager to be in a relationship - or jump from one mate to the next, does that scream insecurity or what? Who knows. Well to each their own.
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