techrocket Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I am in quite a dilemma. My thinking is quite cluttered at the moment and I'm hoping someone will help set it right! So I met this cute girl a few days back for business reasons. I don't usually mix professional with the personal, but we were alone together for a few hours and we struck a nice rapport and talked quite a bit about non-professional stuff. She was a bit nervous when she met me but was very comfortable soon. I picked her up at the Metro and was supposed to drop her back at the Metro. After business she requested me to give her a ride home instead of the Metro. The next day she emailed me with "You know I was really surprised by how polite and responsible you turned out to be". A few days later we exchanged emails and she mentioned a problem with her Internet connection. I am good at these things and offered to loan a gadget that may help, but clearly told her I wouldn't guarantee. She wanted to meet anyway and so we met again at the Metro. This time we went for a coffee to Panera and chatted for well over an hour. No business talk at all. She was in no hurry to leave and I ended the evening. I dropped her again to her new home since she had moved. Now we're meeting again for business this week and I offered to take her for lunch afterwards, which she accepted. This is also the last of our scheduled business meetings. I have to drop her off at the airport post-lunch since she has a flight to catch. So here is the dilemma. She is in town temporarily, and will go back home in a month's time. I am terribly busy with my career and have little social time. So I don't have the time to court and date her the usual way and feel like I should make every meeting count. Some questions. 1. Did she sound the death knell by calling me "polite and responsible". I fear she may just be viewing me as a trustworthy friend. 2. Should I use our lunch to make a move? Considering the lack of time will it make sense to come on a bit more strongly than usual? 3. To add to the confusion are my professional ethics. Is it ok to harbor thoughts about a girl I mostly know professionally? What do women in this group think? Any thoughts or suggestions are highly appreciated. Thanks much!
xpaperxcutx Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Some questions. 1. Did she sound the death knell by calling me "polite and responsible". I fear she may just be viewing me as a trustworthy friend. 2. Should I use our lunch to make a move? Considering the lack of time will it make sense to come on a bit more strongly than usual? 3. To add to the confusion are my professional ethics. Is it ok to harbor thoughts about a girl I mostly know professionally? What do women in this group think? Any thoughts or suggestions are highly appreciated. Thanks much! 1. No, I think it was a polite compliment with a hint of flirtatious nature. But it's hard to tell in emails. So don't take it as a the nail that ends it all. 2. The lunch meeting is for business so it's not appropriate or professional to start asking her out. She might take it the wrong way and file a complaint against you. 3. Professionally that's a bit outside of my jurisdiction. Most people will advise you never to mix business with pleasure. How long is she staying in town? If you have her a email, you can always mail her to go out for a drink or dinner after work. Oh and make sure that she's single.
Angel1111 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I think it's a big compliment for a woman to say that you're polite and responsible. I mean, think of the opposite: impolite and irresponsible - not qualities a woman seeks out. I think she would be shocked that you didn't know how to take that comment. I don't really see any problem with any of this. She has agreed to meet you after work before so I doubt she'd be surprised that you would want to talk about furthering the relationship. Hey, lots of people meet at work - that's not really a big deal. What I would do if I were you is just ask her if you could have her number to call her sometime, and if she'd like to see you again. It sounds like you may be talking about this being an LDR - are you prepared for that?
Author techrocket Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 Thanks for your thoughts. Actually the meeting and lunch are separate. The lunch is not for business. We are wrapping up professional stuff during the meeting and the lunch is to unwind before she flies out of town. The reason I get confused is because although I have met her for business, we've also met otherwise.
Author techrocket Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 Angel1111, thanks much for your input. I was kind of thinking (hoping?) on similar lines. I am not sure about the LDR yet because there are too many variables involved. Plus we don't know each other that well. However if things click I am sure we will be able to meet every now and then. So do you recommend taking it easy and relaxed during lunch and call her later to ask her out? I should not make any move during or right after lunch? I feel like the closer it gets to her departure the more she may mentally close the option of dating me.
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