friendlygirl Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 dont know if any of you are familiar with my situation.... long story short i have been back and forth with this man... the father of my son for a year and a half now. He has cheated and played with my head with one girl... then left me for the girl that broke his heart a few months before i met him.. that didnt work so he begged the girl he cheated with to come back and that didnt work... so he came back to me.... telling me he loved me and that i was the one all along that he just couldnt get rid of (even though i was last resort and he didnt even believe my son was his till he had him tested) He has been back since mid february when the ex girlfriend dumped him for fooling around on her and going to his exes house.... of course claiming nothing happened but the girl showed up at the ex girlfriends work to tell her all about the nothing happening lol.... anyway.... since then i have found 6 women in his phone... women all over his myspace... lots of bad things happening... was being told that the other women were there just incase he found out that our son wasnt his because if that was the case he was going to leave me and he wanted someone else to move on to... well the tests came back and he found out i wasnt lying and the baby is his and now things are really different. He practicaly lives with me now... has only been to his house 3 times in the past month and a half... I have been thinking alot about all this.. even tho the women are gone off the myspace and the phone isnt on silent and in his pocket anymore and he is here most of the time and starting to move things in slowly i still cant get all of the horrible things hes done to me off my mind. He posts on here too and im sure after reading this ppl like gunny and legs will know who im talking about so i wont name any names and please do not say anything to him because i dont want all this to move backward... I love this man with all my heart although i am wondering why after reading even on here that he was meeting the ex behind my back for coffee and saying he loved her and wanted to fight for her at the same time hes living here and telling me he loves me and im the one he truely wanted all along. My point is i am trying really hard not to bring up past. trying to believe that he is being honest for once in his life and that he really means all the promisses im getting now... the talk of moving in completely... having another child... getting so close to my kids. I just dont know how to do this. Im going nuts...Every time hes not here i freak. I start thingking there is someone else yet again. Like tonight for instance. He says he is going out with the boys... I said ok... are you coming home after? He changed the subject. I asked again... then i got gonna have a few drinks and dont know whats gonna happen from there. He cant even tell me if hes coming home to his own bed after hes done with the guys. So naturally im thinking hes gonna get drunk and go to the girl he used to cheat with. He used to do that to the ex girlfriend all the time while they were trying to make things work recently. He would call and tell me all about how he cheats on her with this girl and he does it because i refuse to cheat with him. I keep telling myself he is here everyday after work... he is moving things in little by little.. having some mail sent here... asked for house keys... is here right after work everyday...is spending his days off with me which he never did before... I really want to give him another chance...(cant say second cuz this will be like the 10th) but im afraid all my insecurities are gonna get the best of me. They did about a month and a half ago ..the last time i found the other women.... we got into a huge fight and he had to have his sister come get him from my house. I threw him out and he cried and cried and told me he cant loose me.. he loves me so much... please dont do this. I just dont know what to do with myself im so damn confused. Can someone please help..tell me how to cope and put all the old mess to the side.... i do love his sorry butt!
sigh123 Posted July 30, 2008 Posted July 30, 2008 plain and simple, he doesn't cherish you. He knows that he can have you whenever he wants because he knows that you will be there for him. He doesn't respect you. He goes doing all these things to hurt you and you forgive and forgive because you want to believe that he will come back to you in the end... i know its much easier said than done, given your relationship and your child with this man... I feel like if he really did respect you and loved you, he would do the best in his capabilities to show you that hes not cheating anymore, that hes doing the best that he can to change himself...and these are gut feelings, it shows. You will always have nagging doubts, no doubt about that, but motivation and eagerness to change shows when you try hard enough. You'll know it.
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