george1122 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 On the first few dates, should the guy open doors for the girl? Some girls think that it is flattering and they do expect it and some think that they are perfectly able to open the doors by themselves and does not need a guy to do it for them. How do you know whether to open doors for your date or not?
Balthazar Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Chivalrous behavior is appreciated by most women, and if accompanied by charm by ALL women(except maybe Gloria Steinhem;but why would any sane man want to date someone like her?) Chivalrous behavior is your way of telling a woman that you can take care of her and protect her. She may not need your care or protection, but it is reassuring to know that it is there. Practice chivalrous behavior, not because it attracts women, but because it is the correct behavior for a man to exhibit. CHeers,
byebyebeautiful Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Opening doors for ladies isn't something that needs to be debated, it's just the respectful thing to do!
Angel1111 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 It's got nothing to do with the date, it has to do with who you are, what your values are, and what you do on a regular basis. As far as I'm concerned, a guy with manners opens the door for a woman (and others) all the time, not just on the first few dates. I can tell so much about a guy just by that one thing. And why on earth would you stop doing it at some point? If a guy doesn't open a door for me, I would think twice about going out with him again - that's how important it is to me. Even my 17-yr-old understands these basic manners, and I feel sorry for women who are silly enough to be offended by this. But if your date doesn't like it and is nice about it when she tells you that, then stop doing it. If she doesn't like it and is rude about it, don't go out with her again. If you open the door for a woman who never thanks you for doing it, be cautious about her. Just a sidenote: Things you do on the first few dates should not be dropped at a later time. It's a false misrepresentation of who you are and leads to a lot of disappointment. This is a common complaint with women because they often say, "He used to do xxx. Now he doesn't even care." A very dangerous place to be.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 My bf still opens the door for me, every time, after a year and a half +, so yeah, I'd say it's a good thing
sfsassy Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I can't open the door, so a guy better, or it will smack me in the face, lol!
Angel1111 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I can't open the door, so a guy better, or it will smack me in the face, lol! It's not about whether you're capable of doing it or not, it has to do with manners and respect. When women tell men not to do this, they're basically telling them not to go out of their way to show them respect, and that they don't value a man with good manners. You might want to think about that one.
Art_Critic Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I'm 45 years old and I've never had a woman tell me not to hold the door for her.. I hold the door for my Mom, my Sisters and my Wife and any other woman I encounter a door with even perfect strangers.... I've never not held the door or opened a car door for a woman when I could.. It shows good manners.. There are times that it isn't appropriate.. those times are if you just cannot get to the door first and doing so would make it awkward..or if you don't have your car keys and you left them in the car.. by the time you use the keyless entry it is just better to unlock the door and let herself in.
Lights Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Have any men here rejected a girl for not having held doors open for him?
Potatocakes Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 It's respectful and polite, I've never heard of a woman say she hated when men hold the door for them I've actually heard the opposite. Complaints that their boyfriends don't hold doors open for them.
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I certainly appreciate it if a guy opens the door for me- but it's not a deal breaker if he doesn't.
Enema Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I do it every chance I get, is a great opportunity to show off my dead sexy bi's.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 This one never made sense to me. You hold the door open for people. It's always rude to just let the door slam shut in front of someone's face. Their gender really shouldn't have anything to do with it.
RedneckRomeo Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 You shouldn't FORCE the other person to open the door for you - but you also shouldn't FORCE the other person to wait for you to open the door for them (depending on gender, etc) However - I think any guy should be a gentleman and open the doors for the lady or anyone if you have the chance. If you are out and she opens it herself - you can at least hold it open for her while she walks in! Or if there are double sets of doors - and she opens the first one - you can grab the second.
johan Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Under normal circumstances, do it if it's convenient. Don't make a big flourish out of it. Some doors are impossible, like when there is another set right after the first. She's just going to have to get the next one. If you don't manage to do it, don't worry about it. She's a big girl. And chances are you'll be buying dinner. Not to mention you'll be doing most of the work in bed. If you're pissed at her for something, then let her get her own damn doors.
imbewildered Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 On the first few dates, should the guy open doors for the girl? Some girls think that it is flattering and they do expect it and some think that they are perfectly able to open the doors by themselves and does not need a guy to do it for them. How do you know whether to open doors for your date or not? For gawds's sake . You do it because it is gentlemanly and chivalrous and a nice tradition. IF you are on a date and you open a door for her, and she turns into some random feminista and gets hissy, you dump her "empowered" azz on the spot and walk away. She won't pull that shyte again in your lifetime. Some of you young guys make me wet my waders sometimes. Women are not the arbiters of men's behavior . WE men are. Ya dig ? Quit giving your 'power to decide' to women.
sfsassy Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 It's not about whether you're capable of doing it or not, it has to do with manners and respect. When women tell men not to do this, they're basically telling them not to go out of their way to show them respect, and that they don't value a man with good manners. You might want to think about that one. I was kidding. (you could lighten up a bit on that) I have been at doors where sonone didn't open them for me, and yes, that is rude. I would though wait to see what other things were going on with the guy, before I rushed to conclusions if he didn't open doors.
sfsassy Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I consider myself a feminist, but even if I could open my own doors, would find it rude and odd iif a guy didn't do that fr me. Just for the record, lol.
Lights Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 For gawds's sake . You do it because it is gentlemanly and chivalrous and a nice tradition. Let's rephrase that. Some might choose to do that out of some sort of act involving assuming the validity of such an ad antiquitatem. IF you are on a date and you open a door for her, and she turns into some random feminista and gets hissy, you dump her "empowered" azz on the spot and walk away. She won't pull that shyte again in your lifetime. What of the analogous action when a retrograde woman's un-"empowered azz" gets hissy over a lack of opening a door? For the record, I open doors for people of either gender provided movement speeds and distances allow for it, and if my mood is good enough for me to care to.
Taramere Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 This one never made sense to me. You hold the door open for people. It's always rude to just let the door slam shut in front of someone's face. Their gender really shouldn't have anything to do with it. I know! I've heard people complaining about women who respond to door-opening with an empowered diatribe, but I can't recall witnessing that actually happening. I suppose that I would complain quite bitterly if I was about to open a door, some guy shoved me to the side so that he could open it - then held it wide open and invited me, with a flourish, to walk through. But that hasn't happened yet. More usually I'll be about to open a door and suddenly a large male hand will appear above or below mine in an "I'll take care of this one, little lady" gesture. In those situations, the female must instantly stop exerting pressure on the door or she'll fall through the open space when the door does open (assuming it's being pushed rather than pulled). To prevent that happening, if a man I'm with is approaching a door at roughly the same time as me, I'll automatically tend to hang back and let him go for the door first. Partly because I don't want to fall clumsily through it, but also because men tend to enjoy opening doors and letting women go first. I suppose it gives them an opportunity to check the rear view. Obviously this doesn't - or shouldn't - apply if a close male relative is opening the door for you. Unless they want an opportunity to hurl some jocular insult about your "fat ass". An old boss of mine shared this info with me. We were down in the basement looking for various archived files, and both of us left at the same time. I was about to take the first step upstairs and he said tersely "I'll go first." I was a bit surprised at the petty demonstration of power, but gestured him onwards. As he was climbing up the steps, he called back at me "I don't like following women up stairs. It makes me feel like a perv and I worry that they think I'll be trying to look up their skirts." I suppose that was chivalry, in its own way.
Angel1111 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I know! I've heard people complaining about women who respond to door-opening with an empowered diatribe, but I can't recall witnessing that actually happening. I suppose that I would complain quite bitterly if I was about to open a door, some guy shoved me to the side so that he could open it - then held it wide open and invited me, with a flourish, to walk through. But that hasn't happened yet. More usually I'll be about to open a door and suddenly a large male hand will appear above or below mine in an "I'll take care of this one, little lady" gesture. In those situations, the female must instantly stop exerting pressure on the door or she'll fall through the open space when the door does open (assuming it's being pushed rather than pulled). To prevent that happening, if a man I'm with is approaching a door at roughly the same time as me, I'll automatically tend to hang back and let him go for the door first. Partly because I don't want to fall clumsily through it, but also because men tend to enjoy opening doors and letting women go first. I suppose it gives them an opportunity to check the rear view. Obviously this doesn't - or shouldn't - apply if a close male relative is opening the door for you. Unless they want an opportunity to hurl some jocular insult about your "fat ass". An old boss of mine shared this info with me. We were down in the basement looking for various archived files, and both of us left at the same time. I was about to take the first step upstairs and he said tersely "I'll go first." I was a bit surprised at the petty demonstration of power, but gestured him onwards. As he was climbing up the steps, he called back at me "I don't like following women up stairs. It makes me feel like a perv and I worry that they think I'll be trying to look up their skirts." I suppose that was chivalry, in its own way. This isn't about door opening etiquette in general, the poster was asking about his date. But, yes, everyone should be polite and open doors for others.
imbewildered Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 What of the analogous action when a retrograde woman's un-"empowered azz" gets hissy over a lack of opening a door? Well , in such a case one would castigate her "entited" azz . Her facial response would be priceless .
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