borelandkaren Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Well, next phase of grief is here!! Anger and it's kicked in with a vengeance. Knowing all the disgusting things about himself that he knew, how could he possibly have even considered entering into a new r/s? He pursued me relentlessly and I never stood a chance. The first stupid move I made was entering into an affair with him. I did realise this at the time and said to him after the first night we slept together that I wouldn't sleep with him again and that it had to remain a "one nite stand." Obviously, this is not the way that things turned out and 5 1/2 years later, here I am. This man knew he had molested a child and still had the audacity to engage me in his life. I know that he was never going to tell me this at the beginning because I would never have gotten involved with him but why would he make me love him, knowing all he did. I always knew something wasn't quite right and I chipped away for all of the time we were 2gether, knowing that eventually I'd get something out of him. And, boy, did I! So now I'm p@ssed off that he even came near me. And probably just as p@ssed at myself for falling for someone who is so sick in the head. Goes to show where my head was then, as opposed to now. What worries me is that my judgement was so off. And now, all I feel is suspicious of every man I see and meet. I do realise that all of this will pass eventually but I honestly can't see myself ever trusting anyone to have a r/s again. :mad::mad:And no, after re-reading this, I don't think I should take no blame for the situation. I realise I was also an adult and behaved badly too. Others were hurt and he and I are both to blame for this.
Nemo Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 , I don't think I should take no blame for the situation. I don't disagree with you. Don't not let him not harden your heart, because there is not much more no life for you to live, and you don't deserve no better. I'm not sure that things will not turn around soon.
Author borelandkaren Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 I don't disagree with you. Don't not let him not harden your heart, because there is not much more no life for you to live, and you don't deserve no better. I'm not sure that things will not turn around soon. What does your reply mean? I can't quite work out whether you are being your usual smart@rse self or not. Please divulge.
Lookingforward Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I don't disagree with you. Don't not let him not harden your heart, because there is not much more no life for you to live, and you don't deserve no better. I'm not sure that things will not turn around soon. nemo, whatever you're smoking....pass it on
Lookingforward Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 What does your reply mean? I can't quite work out whether you are being your usual smart@rse self or not. Please divulge. yup, even for nemo, that was obtuse
Nemo Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Don't let him harden your heart, because there is much more life for you to live, and you deserve better. I'm sure that things will turn around soon.
Author borelandkaren Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 Don't let him harden your heart, because there is much more life for you to live, and you deserve better. I'm sure that things will turn around soon. Thank you for clarifying! And I did kinda think that you were playing with what you considered to be my appalling english but if you look back at what I wrote, it does make sense. I do know that you're right, of course and I also think I deserve better but I won't be looking for or entering into anything in the near future. Not that I believe that "all men are scum" or anything so ridiculous, just that I haven't got a whole lot of faith in my choices. I can't seem to see anybody without a very "hardened" view. This is also because I was involved with someone whose viewpoint was bludgeoned into me. I feel almost as though, by association, I've been brainwashed into having a male outlook about things. I do think that down the track things will turn around but the same as you valuing a tight anus, I value someone who doesn't lie and having only had a liar in my life for such a long time, find it hard to look at others trustingly! So sorry, hearts already hardened to no return point.
Nemo Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 all men are scum That is so true. Scum has a way of accumulating on you, and then it's almost impossible to scrape off. The best thing to do is to embrace your scum, and to remember that your scum is unique.
Author borelandkaren Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 That is so true. Scum has a way of accumulating on you, and then it's almost impossible to scrape off. The best thing to do is to embrace your scum, and to remember that your scum is unique. Oh, you're a brat!!!!!
Issues & tissues Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 That is so true. Scum has a way of accumulating on you, and then it's almost impossible to scrape off. The best thing to do is to embrace your scum, and to remember that your scum is unique. :lmao: oh boy. Nemo, has anyone ever told you that you have a special way with words?
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