zoe1983 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 My boyfriend and i have known each other for four years and have been together for three. Probably around the year and a half mark we started talking about marriage. Not as in we wanted to do it tomorrow but that it was both of our goals to marry some day. We were waiting for him to finish school and get a job first, then we would get married. So he graduated this past june and started an internship with a non profit. Now they offered him a part time job with ok pay and another internship that would teach him how to write HTML and websites for people. This would definitely make him more marketable and make it easier for him to find a job. However that pushes our marriage plans back even more. He always says as soon as he can afford a ring he will ask but i feel like maybe he is procrastinating with finding a job so that he wont have to. I mean i have no reason to really think this i guess, every time the subject is brought up he is always very enthusiastic about getting married. It doesn't help that his mom is always pressuring him about saving money for my engagement ring and my family is always saying they doubt we are really getting married. This drives us nuts! Its just i am so excited for us to really get out on our own and start our married life together and it seems like he wants to take a more scenic path. I have a stable job with not so great pay but enough to live on, especially if he could find a job making at least the same. I went to college straight from high school so i had already graduated college when i was 20 years old and have had a stable job since (although i dont really like my job too much).Maybe I am rushing things? what do you guys think?? By the way he is about to be 24 years old and i am about to be 25 years old. (we have the same birthday, how weird is that?? lol)
carhill Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 He always says as soon as he can afford a ring he will ask but i feel like maybe he is procrastinating with finding a job so that he wont have to. I mean i have no reason to really think this i guess, every time the subject is brought up he is always very enthusiastic about getting married. Reconcile this and you have your answer... Personally, I think that a healthy combination of challenge and support regarding his ambitions in life would go a long way towards resolving these issues. Also, you can teach and support each other in dealing with family pressures. This is your life. Yes, you love your families and respect them, but you live your lives (including getting married) on your terms. This is good practice for later if/when you have children. I'm not overly concerned here. I'm sure you'll hear other opinions
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