Lucky555 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 After doing some thinking about what i want in a guy........while i am hoping mr. right comes along...i have found a pattern with the guys i have previously dated. here it is i crave excitement! I want someone who keeps my mind busy and it ends up me getting tired of it and then me not wanting them anymore. With my exes i liked having them bring me to different places, call me, text me, or keep me guessing. It was fun not knowing about them and then trying to figure them out. They were always "mysterious" or didn't reveal too much about themselves at first. So here is the bottom line...do any of you crave that excitement and then just get bored of them. I got bored of them after i figured them out and what they knew. They had nothing more to offer me. I think can be classified as a nerd lol I really have high ambitions, a routine, and i keep myself maintained physically and mentally. Now once i figure out these guys are not like this it really says to me..this wont work out first of all because i have high expectations and i just think they are lazy..but really its just them being themselves. With the last guy i thought he was the one but now as i got to see his true colors its like omg how could it have ever worked. I think i was in love with the idea of being in love. Now i need to figure out how to actually be in love and manage to have a stable relationship. Do guys generally tell u about themselves or is the mystery man always a loser? in my cases they were
woods321 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 In your story, it doesn't seem like the men are the losers. All men have dated women like you. The women chase chase chase, and then when you open up to them they clam up, or "get bored" Get some help.
Author Lucky555 Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 get some help? I think mainly I get bored because I don't see them as having long term potential. 1. boyfriend 1..found out he drank and smoked yuck! He was fun though while it lasted. 2. Emotionally unavailable only two serious relationships here. I am young. I guess i am trying to see what i am supposed to do differently! I can't do a 100 question quiz with guys. But even under the previous mentioned conditions...i got bored with them mighty fast. yes they did chase chase chase me. The second guy actually chased me the most and i really didn't want anything to do with him but gave him a shot...thought i really like him and then it just fell through. SO mystery men are more of a challenge for me and it makes me want them and i dont know why! Now i think I just need to take it slower and expect less and just date more than one at a time. I think i put to much faith in that person hoping they are mr. right for me and they are not. Like i said i have high expectations for myself. I don't want to be with a guy thats just going to be a bad influence or use me. Any suggestions!
woods321 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Advice? Ok.. Find a man with good lifestyle habits, good character, and ambition. Learn to love him. Relationships generally work out better in which the man is the one chasing.
carhill Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Read my postings here, OP. I'm known as difficult, complex, and "abnormal", alternatively as a "pain in the ass". FWIW, you'll never really know a truly intelligent and creative person because their mind is always light years ahead of any meaningful things their mouth and hands can do. Drives my wife nuts You may get bored because they're off in their own universe and can't relate real well to you (my wife does). You may feel demeaned because they try to put things into "words you can understand" (my wife does). My wife is a pretty smart cookie, but, to her, intelligence is a tool. To me, it's an undiscovered universe of possibilities. She uses hers; I love mine. As a man, I love intelligent (I mean, specifically, utilized intelligence) women. When I was single, I met a few women like that (really intelligent) and inevitably irritated them because I was always nipping at their ankles, challenging them to achieve more. Ever had a man chase your mind? I'll bet you haven't. Plenty have chased your body, I'm sure. It's very unnerving You need a man who challenges your intellect. A man who irritates you. Find one of those, marry him and make the next Da Vinci
Mermaiden Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Read my postings here, OP. I'm known as difficult, complex, and "abnormal", alternatively as a "pain in the ass". FWIW, you'll never really know a truly intelligent and creative person because their mind is always light years ahead of any meaningful things their mouth and hands can do. Drives my wife nuts You may get bored because they're off in their own universe and can't relate real well to you (my wife does). You may feel demeaned because they try to put things into "words you can understand" (my wife does). My wife is a pretty smart cookie, but, to her, intelligence is a tool. To me, it's an undiscovered universe of possibilities. She uses hers; I love mine. As a man, I love intelligent (I mean, specifically, utilized intelligence) women. When I was single, I met a few women like that (really intelligent) and inevitably irritated them because I was always nipping at their ankles, challenging them to achieve more. Ever had a man chase your mind? I'll bet you haven't. Plenty have chased your body, I'm sure. It's very unnerving You need a man who challenges your intellect. A man who irritates you. Find one of those, marry him and make the next Da Vinci Uh no, truly talented and highly intelligent men don't share your viewpoint. The few that do are closer to disordered meglomaniacs If you love a woman and she has brilliant potential you let her unfold at her own pace. You do not weary her with tedious sparring. That frustrates her potential.
2sunny Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 As a man, I love intelligent (I mean, specifically, utilized intelligence) women. You need a man who challenges your intellect. hard to find carhill - just doesn't happen hardly ever. grrrr i too- am that unusual breed. a woman that thinks and approaches life like a man. only deceiving because of my very feminine and sexy exterior.
carhill Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 That is, IMO, the definition of the evolved female. Strong, independent, intelligent (and not afraid of expressing it) and still sexy and feminine. Why should those characteristics be mutually exclusive? Only thing you have to discard IMO is the "like a man". Lose that; it's irrelevant
2sunny Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 That is, IMO, the definition of the evolved female. Strong, independent, intelligent (and not afraid of expressing it) and still sexy and feminine. Why should those characteristics be mutually exclusive? Only thing you have to discard IMO is the "like a man". Lose that; it's irrelevant it is finding a counterpart that is effectively mentally challenging while being humorous and playful and has similar interests (such as cooking, gardening, sex, sports, challenging games such as chess or fun ones as cribbage as well as a guy that can relax at the beach) that is the difficult part. a lot of men that have even a few of these qualities still lack the mental power and diversity to be interesting as well as playful at the same time - much less intellectually challenging in a conversation. grrrr yep, it is discouraging at best to ind folks that operate in singular areas of their capacity or ability. i'll never 'dumb it down" to get a date - although i have considered it on a few occasions... :p oh well... i'm used to time spent alone... it's all good.
carhill Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 If a woman dumbs it down, I load the sarcasm howitzer and let the games begin Seriously, I rarely meet a woman that I can't find at least some common ground with. I think everyone brings singularly unique experiences to existence and I have a lifelong fascination with anything new and unique. Even the people who piss me off teach me something and I thank them but perhaps don't express it in such a pleasing manner IMO, you should never minimize yourself to get or keep the attention of any man. I don't care how bad you want to get laid The biggest romantic revelation I've had to deal with over the last decade is how to resolve the kind of woman I'm attracted to and attract versus the type of woman I'm compatible with. It's been a journey....
Angel1111 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I got the wrong impression when I first read your post because it sounded like you were saying that you just got bored with guys simply because you got to know them. Then I realized you meant that you get bored because of who they are. Well, it took many years - and several failed relationships - for me to figure out the type of guy I need to be with. I think you're encountering the same thing. You're very smart to have such an understanding of your own nature. Dont ever compromise on that.
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