MusicChick24 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and in the midst of a slump we went through I realized that I have lost who I am, which is obviously not a good thing. I know who Aaron and MusicChick24 are, but I have no clue who MusicChick24 is other than a girlfriend and a college student. I love my boyfriend, and he's not a very social person like I am, he's an outdoors person, computers, guns, cars etc. But I'm very phone, computer, hanging out etc. And we've always been able to work around that. We each have our own personal time and that is seperate from our together time so we can both be happy, but lately I've observed that my personal life isn't really much of anything. One of my best friends is married and I hang out with her and her husband alot during the week and on the weekends when niether of us are working, but my other two best friends from school have kind of faded away in the midst of my relationship. My best friend Brad, calls every now and then and I call him, and we see each other at work, but both of us are looking for new jobs and with College starting up soon we will both become pre occupied that is inevitable. My other best friend Ashley will be moving a couple hours away for college, and we have really drifted since the end of high school. She calls every now and then, we communicate on Myspace and all but we haven't hung out in a long time. It kind of makes me sad. I don't think I am LOSING my friend persay, but they are part of me. They are the best people I have in my life, and I let them slip, to spend all my time with my guy, and now I don't want to be clingy GF that has to spend every minute with guy, I want to salvage these friendships. Is that possible over the next 3 weeks before she leaves for school? Brad will still be in town like I, Ashley is the only one leaving and after she leaves, unless she comes down on the weekends I won't see her until Thanksgiving and then Christmas. <3
Ronni_W Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 , I want to salvage these friendships. ... Is that possible MC, I think you might be able to answer your question by looking at what it is that you have to offer them -- if they were to take a chance and renew their relationships with you, how would you add value to their lives? how would you bring pleasure? how well would you be able to support and encourage them in their challenges and quests for their dreams? If you come up with a whole lot of positives in your favour, then my strong guess would be that, yes definitely, you will be able to offer them friendship. Best of luck.
Author MusicChick24 Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 I shouldn't say we have a lost friendship, we still talk but not as much as we used to. So we have a friendship, we still tell each other everything, but we just don't hang out as much as we used to. It went from every day to every now and then. <3
Ronni_W Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Yep...I got that you are looking to possibly revitalize and bring more meaningful connection into the individual relationships. For me, that would still be about what you want to "bring to the table", so to speak, to facilitate those stronger connections that you seek .
Author MusicChick24 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 I just want to hang out/talk more. I want to show them that boyfriend or not there friendships are highly valued. <3
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 MC, sad to say, it happens. When I was your age, I went through the exact same thing. Me and my friends went our separate ways after high school, we all had chicks who occupied our time, and life just got in the way. Unfortunately, there isn't always a lot you can do; it just happens. Me and my best friend generally only see each other two or three times a year now. When we do though, it's like nothing changed. We'll pick right up where we left off. It is hard to adapt to at first, but you will. Brad and Ashley are probably going through the same thing you are. There's so much to do now, and so little time to do it in. After all, until now, life has pretty much been scripted for you. You had no choice - you had to go to school. Now that high school's done, it's your call. There's no law that says you have to go to college, which means you have to decide what you want to do with your life - a monumental decision, to say the least. With your interests costing more as you age, work becomes more of a factor than it used to, and new things will always creep in to steal some of your time. Between everything that's competing for your time, and everything competing for Brad and Ashley's time, coordinating time together will be like . All you can do is try and plan it out, and enjoy what time you do get with them. For what it's worth, I'm sure they're feeling the same way you are right now. It's just one of the downsides of becoming an adult.
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