SnowWhite924 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I've posted my story on a different category so I won't repeat myself. I'm involved with someone I'm not 'in love' with anymore but I do care for him deeply. We've spent almost a year together and experienced an incredible amount. I want to get out of this relationship for many reasons. I find it very hard to walk away. I've broken up with him on a monthly basis. How do I break up with him and stay away from him? I don't understand why it's difficult for me when I'm not in love with him anymore. I feel as though I'm 'addicted' to him. We're more like friends than anything else. Please offer tips, ideas, thoughts, on how I can break free once and for all. Thank you!
motive2002 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Tell him you're not in love with him anymore and that you want to date other people. It hurts, sucks ass, he'll probably hate you for it, but honesty, in the long run is the best policy. It will all blow over and maybe at some point years later you can be friends again after the dust settles. If that doesn't sound appealing to you, I'm sorry. Just about every other option is worse, like stringing him along, lying to him etc. If you really want out, you're gonna have to get out. You'll be doing him a favor by being honest. Trust me. It really is the best way.
motive2002 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 OR work out your issues and don't break up with him at all. What's so awful that you have to break it off with him? DO you have the need to date other people? Is he a dick or something? Pardon me if I sound bitter, but I've been dumped recently with all the worst excuses, vagueness, etc, that you can imagine. It's taking me a long time to get over it and I just wished I got some kind of direct answer. Some kind of something for a reason. If she wanted to be single again and date other people I'd still be hurt, but at least I'd be faced with a hard truth instead of all this mystery. Maybe she didn't like the way I chewed my food. Maybe I snored loud or something. Maybe she just couldn't stand me anymore.. but did she tell me any of this stuff? No. She waited 'till the last goddamn minute when she already had one foot out the door that we were breaking up. I had no chance to resolve a damn thing, Just poof, she was out of my life, just like that with hardly a tangible reason for it. If you want to really make a guy feel horrible, that's what to do. Otherwise give him something. Some explanation. Some TRUTH or try to work out your differences. Don't do what my ex did. Believe me that's a helluva lot worse.
Author SnowWhite924 Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 Sorry, I didn't want to repeat my story. I hope I didn't post in the wrong place. My bf and I are both in committed relationships. That's the main reason I want out. Regardless of our circumstances, I care about him deeply. I don't want to hurt him. I would never tell him I don't love him anymore. I want to know why am I so addicted? How do I get out?
motive2002 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 umm.. you're both the other woman/man? If that's the main reason, let him know. I mean, that should be pretty straight-forward. You don't even belong together in the first place. Not like that. What you guys have is a fling, not a relationship. You're gonna have to call it like it is.
Author SnowWhite924 Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 Yes, you are right! We don't belong 2gether!! Good enough reason. But, how do I stay away??? That's my biggest problem.
motive2002 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I feel as though I'm 'addicted' to him. Sex that good eh? I know what that's like. I've been the other man before. When I found out she was married, all bets were off. It sucked because it was so good and so passionate, but I had to realize I had it all so easy. I didn't have to live with her. I didn't have to put up with her BS. I only got the good parts while she lived her day-to-day mundane life with her husband. So what I'm saying is that you're probably only getting the good stuff without a real relationship to perhaps dull it out or make it stressful. Ask yourself, what would it be like if you both flipped your lives totally upside-down to be together legit? Is it even worth it? You probably know the answers to that. Let that be your guide.
lkjh Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I have read your story and I'm sorry but he's not your boyfriend, he's the guy that you are cheating on your H (the father of your children) with. Tell him to get out of your life, confess to your H and get ready to do some damage control because this is going to blow up in your face soon. Right now you have the best of both worlds a home with a family (that you don't seem to care about) and this secret exciting life. It wasn't love it was the intoxicating feeling of something new and risky! What I don't get is that you came out of the fog and realized that you don't love him but yet you still disrespect your H and children by taking part in this.
wareagle Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 People like you lady make me sick!!! I dont even know what to say? You have way deeper issues than you are discussing here!!! You need to pull your skirt up end it with the OM, confess to your husband and hope he doesn't leave your ass and take your child with him!!! There is no excuse for cheating PERIOD!!!! You are about to hurt alot of people, because of your selfish way's! Not for one second did you consider your husband's feeling's, your child welfare, or the OM's wife!!! I'm not sorry for being so blunt, sometimes that's what it takes to open someon's eyes!!!!
miss_28 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 op... come on... you're both MARRIED... and you have children... come on... you have to reign it in... you don't belong together and that's all there is to it. It really doesn't matter how you feel about him, or how he feels about you... even if you are married to people who are horrible... what you are doing is betraying your mates and making yourselves out to be awful in the process! The people you are married to are supposed to, at the very least, have your respect. You've been married 14 years to this person... you've been through a lot, is this what he deserves? And you're OM, he's been married 26 years... god, to treat someone you've been with that long like that... If you have marital problems, get counseling, if you feel that you are falling for some one else, again, get counseling... don't make everyone's life a living hell by cheating! You've got to be honest and face the music... that's all there is to it. Unless you like the guilt and the drama and really don't give a rat's ass about your family... For the love of pete, i'll never understand this whole cheating business... it's so lame and makes you so unhappy... i just don't get it...
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