Being Told You're Second Fiddle - Your Reactions?

[CaliGuy]

"Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option...."

[Gala]

It sounds, though, like this guy inferred that you were somehow second best - a runner-up, of sorts. This completely sucks, and makes me wonder what or who he would be holding out for. And after five years? Please.

 

Also - I know that you are trying to maintain rationality, but please let yourself grieve. Be angry and upset if you need to.

[Ingenue]

"Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option...."

 

What a great quote and so true.

 

Also - I know that you are trying to maintain rationality, but please let yourself grieve. Be angry and upset if you need to.

 

You should have seen me a month ago when it happened. I was an absolute wreck. I was crumpled on the floor crying, going through boxes and boxes of tissues. I couldn't even catch my breath. I was devastated and demoralized. I was crying for 2 weeks straight. I wasn't eating, I wasn't seeing friends, I wasn't doing anything except crying and letting the tissues pile up. I'd read and reread the break-up/you're dumped email over and over again and the words would just ring in my head all the time, and I'd just cry more.

 

Grieving is a process and my emotions are still on that roller coaster. I still have my bad days where watching something like a commercial on tv reduces me to tears. But on the whole, I'm doing better. At least I'm not plastered on the floor with kleenex in hand. The one thing that has helped me accept the situation is the realisation that I can't change the past. I can't change the way people act. I can only live in the present and my life on this planet is limited and too short to be spent wallowing over a man who, as CaliGuy says, only sees me as an option. I'm a little angry that it took five years for him to realise this about himself, but better now than later. And I don't regret the relationship itself. I learned a lot about myself and had a great time while I was with him. Those are wonderful memories to have.

 

I'm taking time for myself and reassessing things, refocusing myself and regrounding myself. And I'm sure after many months when everything has been processed and I've really come to terms with the break up, I'll move on, as life always does, and hit the single dating pool again. But until then, well, I'll just get through it the best I can.

[Gala]

Ingenue -

 

I wasn't clear before on where you were in the process. Yes, life is too short to waste any more time than necessary on a man like this. Best of luck, and take care.