Habibti Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Yes, you heard me. I drug out my sexiest pair of heels, threw on my sexiest outfit and I strutted around the house and danced with them on. Then I watched a movie, Madeas family reunion. Today, I had a million daydreams. I remembered what it was to feel hope again, to feel excited about something. I remembered what it was like to look forward to the unknown. I can think back on plenty of times where my ex did some things that definately fall under the douche bag category to me..just as I'm sure he can think of times when I've made mistakes too. That just isn't what makes him not good enough for me, but him letting me get away. Him giving up on us so easy. Him not giving me a fair shot..well that makes him not good enough for me. I've been having fun lately! Mixed with some tears, but I'm not sad anymore about him. I don't miss him anymore. When I get sad, it's because I'm dissapointed- I thought I met someone who would love me forever. Or, I think about the beautiful city we were going to live in together that I can't live in now..or the cat we were going to adopt. That's about all that makes me sad now. But I'm young, strong, smart..and I'm beautiful both inside and out.. and I know, the power is in my hands . If I want to visit that beautiful city..or live there some day I can make it happen. I don't know..I just have made some really smart decisions regarding coping and it's wonderful to me that I have been doing so much healing and really letting go. I didn't stay friends, I didn't harbor fantasies that we would get back together. I took his word at face value- he was choosing to move on- after that, I couldn't find a good reason to hang on either. I got used to life without him, now he's not missing from mine. There is no wide open space that lies vacaant waiting for him to relinquish his seat. No, that doesn't exist. I didn't allow myself to hang onto false hope, thinking it would make me feel better. It wouldn't have. It hurt like hell facing the truth, but it hurt like hell..and then it was released and became better. and I don't know..I just feel very light, so much less burdened. I guess this is an ad pimping out no contact..but it must be done right, none of this "nc so he/she will want me back" business. That will prevent you from moving on by garnering the SAME false hope that "staying friends" would. There are so many people in this world, let alone hanging on and moping over one who doesn't see how special and wonderful we are. Do you know how many people would LOVE to have a shot with us? A chance to actually appreciate us and give us their heart? And we're going to sit around moping over the one who couldn't? Pssht no, not me . I guess, today..maybe more than any other day I got my life back. It feels good.
Issues & tissues Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Congratulations on finding yourself and your happiness! It feels good doesn't it? I have only just started finding "me" again and I feel like a small child opening gifts on Christmas morning. :bunny: I will never let anybody take "me" away from me again to lose my identity in theirs.
LovelyStyle Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Congratulations on finding yourself and your happiness! It feels good doesn't it? I have only just started finding "me" again and I feel like a small child opening gifts on Christmas morning. :bunny: I will never let anybody take "me" away from me again to lose my identity in theirs. Ditto! Nicely stated.
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