Author tanin84 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 Well her doubts have to do with herself...she says she wants to be a better wife for me and needs to get right spiritually and when I am around she feels restricted in trying to work on these things as I in the past have always dismissed the problem saying everything was fine. As far as all this No Contact stuff, I have not spoken with her in two weeks. She calls from time to time to see how I am, but I don't always answer. Secondly I know she has not had any luck with guys except me. Her first fiancee' (I'm the second) cheated on her and since then she has had trust issues. Before I came around she was never really one for a relationship until I showed her she was worth one and I would never hurt her and I haven't. So maybe I do get in the way of something that personal and scarring and she can't purge it. Maybe she needs the space. I don't know but I'll wait. I have nothing left to lose because she is gone for now and I have accepted this and I am ok with her needing to work on things. if she doesn't come back well I am prepared for it. If she does I'll say it's worth it for her to have the space. Also she has never lied to me and she has always said was she has meant. I don't doubt her. Only at first was I becoming "psycho" but after praying about it and realizing I can only push her away at this point, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt so to say. And to the guy who saying he I need to hear negative things, to each his own but that's not how I heal.
imagine Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Hey there T Please treat this community board as a kind of a banquet. Many experienced and not so experienced chefs contribute to the fare on the table. The reasons that they contribute may vary from caring to venting. Most of the time it is a form of therapy as we grapple with issues. Your case is not new. It is new to some. Yes! You need to pray. Pray for wisdom that you may discern advice that which is right but not necessarily palatable. Sometimes people choose advice which seems tasty, but later, die from the cholesterol. That said, here's my take: Your fiance is about to enter into a partnership with you. She will promise, before God, that she will be faithful to you until one of you dies. Some people take up this contract quite flippantly. They renege on their word and thus dishonour God in the process. This is a decision that each prospective spouse has to make for themselves. This may not be forced by any external party. Respect this! Should one of the parties prevaricate too long for the other's liking - would take it as a sign that very real doubts exist. If you cannot determine the nature of those doubts, move on. Right now, you need to work on yourself - boxing is good. Socialize. Do like the rest of us here and contribute to the banquet. Add your special flavour! I hope that you have ensured the halting of all the wedding arrangements . Play the man, do not blame her. Take responsibility for the break-off upon yourself. Make absolutely sure that she feels no pressure to wed.
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