lovestruck818 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 That is a fair point although don't you think that places more of an emphasis on sex as being a possession that a male can take from a woman and not an episode of mutual enjoyment. I could extrapolate that line of thinking and say that as it is the Males duty to in a sense earn sex, that it becomes a right of his to enjoy it, and not the womans, because once provided becomes the Males possession. In that right once a woman agrees to have sex with the man it should be under his control. Being your job to give him a blow job but not his duty to return the favor. Sex should be for his pleasure never mind if it hurts you or if he is going to fast or you want him to go slower. I think that things should be even and as such so should payment for the dates otherwise we end up with a tangled mess of who is entitled to what out of the relationship. Women thinking they should get money and men thinking they should be able to bang the womans lights out with no regard for her well being. I don't think who pays or doesn't has anything to do with sex...
MaxManwell Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I don't think who pays or doesn't has anything to do with sex... Why not ? Why do you think a woman would pay for the date of a woman he hardly knows ? Because he wants to see her smile. I don't think so. I'd pay for a woman if she was once a friend and I was fairly certain a relationship might come out of it because that would make me feel good. Paying for random girls just makes me feel like a sucker who is getting taken for a ride by a hooker in denial.
lovestruck818 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Why not ? Why do you think a woman would pay for the date of a woman he hardly knows ? Because he wants to see her smile. I don't think so. I'd pay for a woman if she was once a friend and I was fairly certain a relationship might come out of it because that would make me feel good. Paying for random girls just makes me feel like a sucker who is getting taken for a ride by a hooker in denial. Well whewn I go out with men I pay so it's never an issue...I've walked out on many a date when the guy insisted on paying. It is an insult to me. I am perfectly capable of paying for a meal.
MaxManwell Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Well whewn I go out with men I pay so it's never an issue...I've walked out on many a date when the guy insisted on paying. It is an insult to me. I am perfectly capable of paying for a meal. That is good it shows the man that you want to be an equal therefore you will attract a man who intends to treat you as one.
Lovely Disaster Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 I don't think a man would treat you worse if you allowed him to pay. I'm not going to sit and argue and insist on paying. That seems manly and unattractive to me and it would to men, too.
woods321 Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Its not the money trust me. Its the attitude. Its the dynamic. The best relationships I had were ones in which money was not an issue. Tabs were not kept. We enjoyed each others company, and the woman did not expect to be paid for her time with me. If you date a woman with this attitude on the first date, it just doesn't disappear and then everything is 50/50. Especially once they see that you make good money. For some, no amount of money spent on them is enough. I have dated both types. It is just refreshing when you are with a woman that does not think in such a manner. I dated girls in which I paid for everything, yet they cooked for me 3 times a day. Not because I demanded it,or even asked, but because they wanted to. That was more than fine for me. But when you are always paying,(or you feel they really resent paying for anything) and all you get is sex, it seems like prostitution.
Lovely Disaster Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 Going on one date with dinner and him wanting to pay for it is nothing even slightly resembling prostitution. This guy I am seeing asked me to go to a nice restaurant in a bigger city an hour out of town on the first date. It made him happy to treat me to that. I did do the offer, but he said "Thank you, but I'd like to get this." And that was that. I am not going to deny his wish to treat me to a nice restaurant I had not been to before after he planned the date. He could have just as easily taken me to a pizza place in town and spent a quarter of the price he spent on the meal....he wanted to plan a date at this particular restaurant because he wanted me to experience it, and he wanted to drive me there. Sorry, this is not prostitution, nothing resembling it, I accepted a guy's offer for an experience that he wanted to treat me to because he had met me through work and thought I was a woman he wanted to get to know better. It's one meal, people.
bish Posted July 29, 2008 Posted July 29, 2008 He is getting the pleasure of my company and conversation for the evening , and sharing whatever activities we choose to participate in. You say that as if the pleasure is all his and you are doing him a favor. I did ask the question: However, you speak of this as the man is the only one getting something out of this....your company. You are getting the same thing as him AND dinner....so what are you going to do to live up to your end of it other than just being there? If the guy says "sure" if I offer to pay, then I would hand him over some cash, but you are right, I probably wouldn't go out with him again. So the offer is a meaningless bluff?
twice_shy Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 The type I go for tend to be alpha males who can afford to pay, who take pride in their ability to do so. Ah, so its all about the money. I can definitely afford to pay, and pay gladly. But last thing I want is a woman that feels entitled. So post a pic so I know to steer clear.
Nevermind Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I don't think a male should pay all the time. But, to be honest, after the last relationship, where I always payed more than half of everything, I'd like to be taken out and spoiled without being asked to chip in. Just spoiled. For once. Maybe this makes me a bad person.
lovestruck818 Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 That is good it shows the man that you want to be an equal therefore you will attract a man who intends to treat you as one. well, yes that is why I do it. Women who continually let men pay for them are the reason women are regarded as "2nd" to men in this country. Also, why should a man be expected to pay everytime? They are not millionaires.
Grrlish Posted August 7, 2008 Posted August 7, 2008 I dont know if its just me but i think guys should pay when you go on a date. why? --- Well I spend hours getting ready making sure my clothes all match my makeups right my hairs perfect... guys just quickly throw on some clothes, hopefully clean ones sometimes ones off the floor?... so they should pay to make it even right, and to show decenty? I as i girl see that we do all this spending hours to get ready as a territorial thing? We dont want the date looking or thinking about some other girl that walks past, we want them to focus on us and think they got the good fish from the sea. Is this how other people justify this? Whoever asks for the first date should pay for that date. Same as with the next few dates. If I suggest going to a movie or dinner or a play on, say, the third date, I better be ready to pay. I would be highly offended if on one of our first few dates a guy asked me out and expected me to pay any part of the date. Again, it works both ways. If it was my idea, I better be ready to pay. If you're going out partying/drinking on an early date, even if it was his idea, it's a nice gesture to do something like buy the two of you a round of drinks or something like that. Some guys like to pay. Some prefer an even split or trading off. Most guys don't want to feel like they're being take advantage of or taken for granted and be expected to pay for everything, all the time. You'll have to work it out as you go along, my dear. Once a relationship is established, I think that it's up to each couple to find a balance that is comfortable for them. There are various factors that might be considered. One of my exes made twice as much as I did, and he also liked to pay. So, I would pay on occasion and when we would cook together at his place, I would buy the groceries more often. I asked him one time if he was okay with how this was going and he said that he definitely felt that I paid my 'fair share'. However, I certainly don't think that getting ready to go out in any way justifies 'requiring' a guy to pay. Frankly, that sounds at the very least, tacky. If you flip that around, it's not a big stretch to the concept that if a guy is going to pay for dinner, shouldn't you put out? (No, you shouldn't but your logic is along the same lines, in my opinion.) Whether you spend 20 minutes or 2 hours getting ready to go is YOUR choice. He's not paying for the privilege of being in your company. Or is he? And some men take longer getting ready to go out than you think. An ex of mine used to take an hour to get ready to go anywhere unless he was wearing a baseball hat.
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