Cheshire Cat Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Ok Cheshire... Well I have to clean my car as well. I have to clean my home in case we end up at my place. I have to plan the date. I have to pick you up. I also have to shower, shave, iron my clothes. Just say you are cheap and don't want to spend your own money. When women go out by themselves, or with girlfriends, they also do their hair, nails, make up etc. Are you asking your girlfriends to pay for you since you had to get ready and it took longer than them? What if you go out with a platonic male friend? Chances are you will still want to look nice at a restaurant, or bar. It seems then you split the bill. Or should he still pay because you had to get ready? I do not hang out with, let alone date, people who expect me to spend a lot of extra time and money to catch up with their standards. Now I think about it, woman should always pay! Not a bad idea. At all.
imbewildered Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Exactly.. So lets get this straight.. A woman has to put on make up, do her hair, put on her heels, and do her best job of getting ready for hours to impersonate a good looking woman. Then you wake up next to them and are thinking "Is this the same woman?" Thats why men should pay? Because you are so naturally unattractive that you have to spend 3 hours making yourself look good? Hey Woodie, I have to tell you to stop making such logical arguments. This is a "woman's" forum. No point in debating logically here. Gawd knows I tried.
MusicChick24 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I don't know. My boyfriend and I have always either split or I paid. We've been together for 3 years. And I've always had a job through school, but his parents wouldn't let him get a job until a certain age becaue they feared it would interfere with his grades. So I was always the one with the money, so if we went out I paid. When we went to prom, both years in High School he took the bill and I tipped. But that's just us. <3
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 First of all, I thought the point of going on a date was for BOTH people to put their best foot forward. How does sitting back and not paying make you look as a female, when many men know lots of women just want a free meal, or are selfish with their money etc? Secondly, there are women I am happy to pay for, and women i would never pay for. If you go out with a career type woman, you would have to be a complete fool to pay. She has a job, makes money, etc. Why pay for her? If you develop a relationship with her, more often than not her job will come first. If you go out with a more submissive woman, you would at least get a return on your investment in the future. She has time to be with you, will put you first, and will most likely be more available. She will have more time for sex, might even like to cook for you, etc. So modern woman= both pay EVERYTHING equal Old fashioned type = No problem paying for
Enema Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Men pay because they put women on a pedestal and let them get away with it.... there are too many desperate men out there that will do anything to get a date. I'm a generous guy (with my now wife), but I would never treat a woman as if her time is more valuable than mine, or as if she's doing me a favour simply by gracing me with her presence. When dating, I almost always went 50/50.... always had plenty of dates.
Star Gazer Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Whomever initiates the date should pay. Seeing as men are usually the ones to initiate the dates in the beginning, they should naturally be the ones paying more often. That said, I have always felt that the invitee should at least offer to contribute.
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Whomever initiates the date should pay. Seeing as men are usually the ones to initiate the dates in the beginning, they should naturally be the ones paying more often. That said, I have always felt that the invitee should at least offer to contribute. This is a great example of the female double standard. How many women have actually ask men out? And yet you can hear this excuse from women on a daily basis! Let's look at it this way -- when two women go out to dinner, does the one who asks pay? No, they usually split the bill. The same thing happens when a woman goes out with a man who's just a "friend" -- each pays an equal share. But the second that sex enters the equation, the woman expects to be paid for. This is nothing less than whitewashed prostitution.
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I always offer to go splitzies on dates- especially first dates. I don't like a man to pay for me until I know if I like him or not.
JustinWolf Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I once read some guy paid like 80$ for a first date and the girl didn't even like him. Ouch.
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Dlish.. So once you like him, then he should be paying? Logically tell me why? You have friends that like you. Should they pay for you as well? Or just when sex is involved?
xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 When it comes to dinner I believe each should pay for his own share... so if the guy orders the entree and the girl just orders the salad, the girl should just pay for the salad. It's unfair for the girl to pay for the whole meal because we all know the guy's the one with the voracious appetite, and they always tend to order the most expensive dish on the menu.
Star Gazer Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 This is a great example of the female double standard. How many women have actually ask men out? That's not the topic of this thread. That said, plenty of women ask men out. I'm one of them. When I do the asking, I do the paying. As for your comparison to two girlfriends getting together, a platonic brunch date is completely different from a courting ritual.
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 LOL Yeah right... Plenty of women ask men out? Tell us how you go about doing that. You see a guy and then say "hello, let me take you out to dinner. I will pick you up at 8" So, then since you did the asking, you are then courting him and have to pay? And you would not feel one bit queasy if at the end he never even reached for his wallet? Stop the lies. Courting? That term was popular when women did not work or have money. So paying was a part of "courtship". Are you one of those sweet submissive ladies that do not work and wanted to take care of the home? No, you work and actually ask men out. Far from courtship material. What it comes down to is prostitution. Women only want to be paid for when the possibility of sex is around.
yongyong Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 yeah men should pay only if he's going to receive good service that night lol
mental_traveller Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Some girls nowadays I swear spend less on clothes and getting ready than guys do!
xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Some girls nowadays I swear spend less on clothes and getting ready than guys do! We would spent more on clothes if you weren't expecting us to pay!
Leoni Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 The first date is a time where everyone is on their best behaviour. Women are asked out by men, so the men pay. With the type of men I tend to date, they would be mortified if I offered to pay for the first date. The only time I pay for the first date (this would be all of it), is if I don't want a second date. It makes it a cleaner cut. Any date after the first should be of some form of alternating payment per date. Splits make me feel like I'm out with a female friend.
TheSilentType Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 With the type of men I tend to date, they would be mortified if I offered to pay for the first date. What are these type of men? Maybe only mortified because they fear you wouldn't want to go out with them again
Leoni Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 The type I go for tend to be alpha males who can afford to pay, who take pride in their ability to do so.
Crazy.S Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Women are a big investment. I only think men should pay when they asked for the date. But if it was sort of mutual agreement to go out, they should try to keep it mutual and split even. If you want us to pay, then you better put out!
woods321 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 The type I go for tend to be alpha males who can afford to pay, who take pride in their ability to do so. So what about men that just choose to get prostitutes? Are they alpha males? 1. They can afford to pay. 2. They take pride in their ability to do so. If they don't pay on a date with you, their chances of sex are 0. So they pay. Once again, ladies want it both ways today. They want "equality" from the new system, but chivalry from the old system. They do not feel like being the old fashioned ladies however.. Back in the day men paid when women did not work, did not sleep with half the town already, were sweet, kind, submissive. That is far from the avg modern woman today.
bish Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I dont know if its just me but i think guys should pay when you go on a date. why? --- Well I spend hours getting ready making sure my clothes all match my makeups right my hairs perfect... guys just quickly throw on some clothes, hopefully clean ones sometimes ones off the floor?... so they should pay to make it even right, and to show decenty? They should pay because they want to....not to "even" anything out. Try this, tell your next date that you do all this preparing for the date and that he has to hardly do anything, then tell him, "i expect you to pay because it took me sooooo long to do my hair". Then come back and tell us his reaction to the entitlement attitude.
Leoni Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I can only speak for the type of alpha I date. They're primarily looking for relationships, therefore, aren't and truth be told, don't need to rely on prostitution. As to chivalry, it appears to me that there's a small sub-component of men who feel that common courtesy is considered chivalry. I feel sad that it's devolved to this low level for men of this ilk. I'm glad that men of this ilk are of no interest to me and are a small portion of the male population. So what about men that just choose to get prostitutes? Are they alpha males? 1. They can afford to pay. 2. They take pride in their ability to do so. If they don't pay on a date with you, their chances of sex are 0. So they pay. Once again, ladies want it both ways today. They want "equality" from the new system, but chivalry from the old system. They do not feel like being the old fashioned ladies however.. Back in the day men paid when women did not work, did not sleep with half the town already, were sweet, kind, submissive. That is far from the avg modern woman today.
MaxManwell Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Women usually will resort to prostitution in one form or another it is the natural way their minds work.
lovestruck818 Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 I dont know if its just me but i think guys should pay when you go on a date. why? --- Well I spend hours getting ready making sure my clothes all match my makeups right my hairs perfect... guys just quickly throw on some clothes, hopefully clean ones sometimes ones off the floor?... so they should pay to make it even right, and to show decenty? I as i girl see that we do all this spending hours to get ready as a territorial thing? We dont want the date looking or thinking about some other girl that walks past, we want them to focus on us and think they got the good fish from the sea. Is this how other people justify this? I'm a girl...and i don't think a guy should HAVE to pay at all. In fact, I'd rather pay for him than him pay for me. It shows I am self-sufficient and that I WANT him, not NEED him. It shows I'm not materialistic and that I'm not interested in him for his money, but for his heart. Besides, who's to say a guy can afford it anyway/ I make triple what my boyfriend makes in salary so I often treat him alot more than he treats me...b/c financially he really can't afford it.
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