xjohnsgirlx Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I dont know if its just me but i think guys should pay when you go on a date. why? --- Well I spend hours getting ready making sure my clothes all match my makeups right my hairs perfect... guys just quickly throw on some clothes, hopefully clean ones sometimes ones off the floor?... so they should pay to make it even right, and to show decenty? I as i girl see that we do all this spending hours to get ready as a territorial thing? We dont want the date looking or thinking about some other girl that walks past, we want them to focus on us and think they got the good fish from the sea. Is this how other people justify this?
Sks Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I dont know if its just me but i think guys should pay when you go on a date. why? --- Well I spend hours getting ready making sure my clothes all match my makeups right my hairs perfect... guys just quickly throw on some clothes, hopefully clean ones sometimes ones off the floor?... so they should pay to make it even right, and to show decenty? I as i girl see that we do all this spending hours to get ready as a territorial thing? We dont want the date looking or thinking about some other girl that walks past, we want them to focus on us and think they got the good fish from the sea. Is this how other people justify this? Its your choice to do all that. I personally don't find the whole makeup/getready thing attractive. The standard tight blue-jeans and t-shirt are perfectly fine by me, what you look like clothed doesn't matter. What you look like naked is more important.
Author xjohnsgirlx Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 LOL nice, yea i know i dont like dress up, i usually do wear just jeans and a nice top, but i get changed alot because i decide the top doesnt match or the jeans are the wrong colour. I try to dress nice so its not just personality a guy can judge me on. What do you first judge on?
Sks Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 LOL nice, yea i know i dont like dress up, i usually do wear just jeans and a nice top, but i get changed alot because i decide the top doesnt match or the jeans are the wrong colour. I try to dress nice so its not just personality a guy can judge me on. What do you first judge on? To be honest, unless its just a horrible match - it usually takes a while to really get a feel for who they are. Clothing isn't something I care about - just nothing crazy. I don't really have a single thing I judge first on. But I don't like the ones who talk excessively - or ones who (in the future) always want to do stuff 24/7 instead of just being together. I do find ones who share a common ground with me best, a similar interest, a similar life "philosophy" or so forth. Don't do anything special, don't work trying to show yourself off, in regards to guys checking out other girls while on a date, if the guy does that - dump him. He is there to be with you, not check out other girls.
silvergirl Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I agree that when you are "dating" the guy should pay when you go out. But, when a "relationship" is established, I think it's nice for the girl to add her two cents every now and again.
Walk Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 The girl didn't spend an hour an a half getting ready for "Him". She does it for herself. IF you don't spend that type of time getting ready for any other outting, IF under normal circumstances of going out with friends you spent 15-30 minutes tops to get ready, then MAYBE I could see the justification for making the guy pay. But I never see that. I see friends who spend 1-2 hours getting ready to go to the mall, go to the bar with just their girl friends, to go to the first week of class at college, etc. The amount of time it takes to get ready, to look great while out on this date, is to help the girl feel confident. It allows her to act confidently and in essence strut her stuff in front of the guy she would like to impress (or keep his attention). To answer the original post. "Is this how other people justify this?" No. Also... the average dinner costs approximately $50-60 dollars. If the guy makes $20 an hour he'd have to work a minimum of 2.5 hours. The guy may have had to work in excess of 4 hours to pay for that meal. The girl spent 1.5 hours tops to get ready. That means the girls time (if based solely on her efforts in "looking" good for a date) is worth approx. $33 - $40 dollars an hour. Are you really that egotistical? (j/k)
Walk Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I agree that when you are "dating" the guy should pay when you go out. But, when a "relationship" is established, I think it's nice for the girl to add her two cents every now and again. Why should men pay? I'd like to hear your thoughts for why you feel men should pay while dating a girl.
CommitmentPhobe Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Why should men pay? I'd like to hear your thoughts for why you feel men should pay while dating a girl. Note, the opening post says boys should pay not men.
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 There is no LOGICAL reason as to why a man should pay. They pay because women do not want to, and if they don't pay the chances of getting sex are almost gone. So lets say your girlfriend calls you on the way home from work, and she is going to a bar. She is all ready. You have to spend time getting ready. That means she should pay?
Walk Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I'd still like to hear what Johnsgirl and Silvergirl thoughts are regarding the reasons men/boys should pay. It might give men better insight into the underlying reason that girls would want this OTHER then simply taking advantage of the situation. And it might help men in the long run because they can skip the shallowness of the idea and address the real reasons when they finally meet the girl they really click with. Thereby ensuring you keep the girl you really want to keep. My ideas on why they want men to pay for dates (just a guess): Potentially their reasons could be because when a man pays it gives them the feeling that the man is actually invested in them as a person.. not just as a sex object. If a guy has had to work 4 hours to earn enough to take her out to dinner, he'd be less apt to go that route if his only goal is sex. He'd just go to the bar, pay for a drink or two and take the girl home. Or maybe its the idea that that women are actually seeking the stability of someone who can handle his finances well. Generally if a person can balance their finances well enough to afford a $50-60 dollar meal, then it weeds out the men who are looking for a free ride. It seperates the guys who can't hold it together long enough to earn a paycheck, from those who are capable of at least supporting themselves. (just saying it might be a reason.. not that it works in reality)
elaina Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 There is no LOGICAL reason as to why a man should pay. They pay because women do not want to, and if they don't pay the chances of getting sex are almost gone. So lets say your girlfriend calls you on the way home from work, and she is going to a bar. She is all ready. You have to spend time getting ready. That means she should pay? I think the reason why men used to pay is cause before, when dating first became a thing to do to meet a mate, most women didn't make enough money to pay IF they even worked... most young women basically just prepared to be wives and mothers, while the men had the responsibility to be the providers... so that's in my opinion the logical reason why men (not boys) pay for dates, to show they can provide... I think that's cool, dont' see anything wrong with that! I also think though that if the woman has the ability to pay every other time than she should, or just going dutch is fine too, but it is a nice and secure feeling we women get when the man pays, cause it's like, oh wow look he's such a good provider, see how competent he is and how strong and ... See? And it also gives off the vibe of, oh wow he cares enough for me to spend his hard-earned money on me... Peace
silvergirl Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Well, I personally feel this way I guess because I'm traditional when it comes to dating. I mean in the old days...guy asks out girl, girl accepts, guy picks girl up, and off they go. In most cases, (of course there are some exceptions), the guy will ask the girl out on the date, therefore, signaling, he wants to take her out, make the choices, and in return, pay. If the girl is the one who asks the guy out, then she too can feel obligated to do the spending. I guess the more I think about it, it really depends on the situation.
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 LOL Elaina.. No I don't "see". You are mixing the past and present. You said why men USED to pay. So why does that still hold true today? Now women work too.. SEE? And silver, please dont use that excuse of "Whoever asks who out should pay" This is a great example of the female double standard. How many women actually ask men out? And yet you can hear this excuse from women on a daily basis. Let's look at it this way -- when two women go out to dinner, does the one who asks pay? No, they usually split the bill. The same thing happens when a woman goes out with a man who's just a "friend" -- each pays an equal share. But the second that sex enters the equation, the woman expects to be paid for. This is nothing less than whitewashed prostitution.
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 The "I want to see if he is a good provider" excuse, is just another excuse. So the bill comes, and he whips out his credit card. What on Earth does that mean? He might be 50,000 in debt as he keeps charging everything.. Or, i will play devils advocate. Women today want to be equal. So, I should make sure you can afford to pay half the bill too, right?. And if you cant cough up 50 dollars, then you are a loser not worth dating?
elaina Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 The "I want to see if he is a good provider" excuse, is just another excuse. So the bill comes, and he whips out his credit card. What on Earth does that mean? He might be 50,000 in debt as he keeps charging everything.. Or, i will play devils advocate. Women today want to be equal. So, I should make sure you can afford to pay half the bill too, right?. And if you cant cough up 50 dollars, then you are a loser not worth dating? If you don't like to pay, nobody is forcing you...
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Elaina, we are looking for logical reasons as to why men should pay. The reason men go on dates is to HAVE SEX somewhere down the line. So they pay as to not piss the girl off. Thats WHY they pay. I always pay, and it doesn't matter to me at all. That does not mean there is logic to it other than what I stated above.
MaxManwell Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 A girl I like could show up wearing Gym clothes and I wouldn't care. Women dress for Women, men just don't care what you wear half of the time, the exception being formal wear Otherwise tank tops and your favorite are fine by me.
onmyownagain Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I am a recently single guy and want to date lots of women and have the chance to do this, but because the man is expected to pay, I am not dating as much as I could because I can't afford it (Solicitor costs etc). So, if women started paying more I could date more. How happy would I be then ;-)
MaxManwell Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I found an easier way once up on a time we just skipped the date I gave her the money and then told her to get naked. Good arrangement now that I think about it. I think the reason why men used to pay is cause before, when dating first became a thing to do to meet a mate, most women didn't make enough money to pay IF they even worked... most young women basically just prepared to be wives and mothers, while the men had the responsibility to be the providers... so that's in my opinion the logical reason why men (not boys) pay for dates, to show they can provide... I think that's cool, dont' see anything wrong with that! I also think though that if the woman has the ability to pay every other time than she should, or just going dutch is fine too, but it is a nice and secure feeling we women get when the man pays, cause it's like, oh wow look he's such a good provider, see how competent he is and how strong and ... See? And it also gives off the vibe of, oh wow he cares enough for me to spend his hard-earned money on me... Peace
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Exactly.. So lets get this straight.. A woman has to put on make up, do her hair, put on her heels, and do her best job of getting ready for hours to impersonate a good looking woman. Then you wake up next to them and are thinking "Is this the same woman?" Thats why men should pay? Because you are so naturally unattractive that you have to spend 3 hours making yourself look good?
Cheshire Cat Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I dont know if its just me but i think guys should pay when you go on a date. why? --- Well I spend hours getting ready making sure my clothes all match my makeups right my hairs perfect... guys just quickly throw on some clothes, hopefully clean ones sometimes ones off the floor?... so they should pay to make it even right, and to show decenty? It makes perfect sense if it is the guy expecting you to look perfect and put extra effort in dressing nice for him.
elaina Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Elaina, we are looking for logical reasons as to why men should pay. The reason men go on dates is to HAVE SEX somewhere down the line. So they pay as to not piss the girl off. Thats WHY they pay. I always pay, and it doesn't matter to me at all. That does not mean there is logic to it other than what I stated above. Lol oh I see now where you're coming from! Many women (not all but many) do not go on dates in order to have sex with the man. Sorry, that's not how many women are. Many women go on dates to see if they enjoy the company and if they want to have a relationship (not a fling, but a relationship) with the man. So I guess it depends on the why the date is going on in the first place, hmm?
woods321 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Ok Cheshire... Well I have to clean my car as well. I have to clean my home in case we end up at my place. I have to plan the date. I have to pick you up. I also have to shower, shave, iron my clothes. Just say you are cheap and don't want to spend your own money. When women go out by themselves, or with girlfriends, they also do their hair, nails, make up etc. Are you asking your girlfriends to pay for you since you had to get ready and it took longer than them? What if you go out with a platonic male friend? Chances are you will still want to look nice at a restaurant, or bar. It seems then you split the bill. Or should he still pay because you had to get ready?
onmyownagain Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 It makes perfect sense if it is the guy expecting you to look perfect and put extra effort in dressing nice for him. You could argue it is easier for women because they have more options with clothes and can put on make up to be someone else. We men on the other hand, really all we can do is groom a bit, and then be ourselves, so are at a disadvantage. Now I think about it, woman should always pay!
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I dont know if its just me but i think guys should pay when you go on a date. why? --- Well I spend hours getting ready making sure my clothes all match my makeups right my hairs perfect... guys just quickly throw on some clothes, hopefully clean ones sometimes ones off the floor?... so they should pay to make it even right, and to show decenty? I as i girl see that we do all this spending hours to get ready as a territorial thing? We dont want the date looking or thinking about some other girl that walks past, we want them to focus on us and think they got the good fish from the sea. Is this how other people justify this? No I don't agree... you don't have to spend all that money on yourself.. not all women do... plus the clothes are the same for men and women.. men spend just as much (sometimes more) than women to buy clothes. If you need to spend so much time on yourself to get ready.. methink you need 'more work'... and you're insecure about your looks. Plus he needs to see you 'au naturel'... you don't get up in the morning looking like that ..do you?... Just be yourself... Oups.. I forgot.. it should be half and half.. I don't agree that men should pay for the date.. women should pay too..
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