cyabye Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I don't see that your advice differed very much from what Lizzie said frankly......... Ahem, a little jolt to get him out of the fog causes NO harm. But showing disrespect and not sympathizing with a given situation while someoine is hurting is NOT necessary. It's NOT a question whether he has balls or not. Maybe his beliefs are guiding his actions. Maybe he doesn't believe in divorce unless their is infidelity (proven in court). Maybe he still loves his wife and can't believe she is doing this to him (aka the fog). Maybe you don't have enough information from an public internet forum to JUDGE (doormat etc.) people. "Growing some balls" = Keeping one's self respect. Retaining your dignity. Doing what NEEDS to be done of a bad situation. I personally would have thrown all her crap on the sidewalk and changed the locks already. If she wanted to get back in, it would take a court order. She has crossed the bounds of just cheating and is intentionally hurting and manipulating you. You cannot forgive someone for that. I know, I tried. Just do what you already know what needs to be done. In the long run you will be much happier. cyabye
Tripper Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 LF, Troub and Liz, your points are well taken, understood and agreed to. In my posts I've given suggestions and also stated what actions he should take. And to "grow a pair"... However, while LS is a great resource one of the disadvantages with this media is it's very difficult to sometimes sense the emotional turmoil of the OP. No all posters can communicate what they feel. The OP simply stated his situation asking how to prove his wife is cheating. What he didn't say is what he is feeling. Obviously he's humiliated but what's his state of mind? If I were him, I would have bounced her @$$ out the door along with her possessions and flippant attitude in a heartbeat.
imagine Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Ok! Nomoregames Lets stop the games. Did you check the CheckMate site recommended to you by Darth Vader regarding home semen testing. While you are waiting for the CheckMate delivery - exchange all of her underwear for new so that you can have fresh samples of semen. Obviously, refrain from having further sex with her. Retain the old briefs/ tampons/pads at a remote site. For example, your locker at work, trusted friends house. Not, your cars boot, garage or any place that she likely to find it should she get wind of your plans when her undies are replaced. You have circumstantial proof from the birthday card photo's. These need to be dated. Keep a private log of all dates and places. The works! Do it now! You have extremely suspicious circumstances, with a witness of your wife and the dentist emerging from the X-Ray room. My wife was an ex dental nurse and she raises the following questions: 1. Why was it necessary to have two people operating at the same time in this room? 2. Where was the patient at this time as it is only necessary to work in the room while a patient is being tested? 3. What is an office assistant rather than nursing assistant doing in the X-Ray room? We are also a bit puzzled that the X-Ray room is still used nowadays. Modern technology has low level radiation X-Rays done right at the dentists chair after which it is compiled on to a computer which automatically logs each patient. Only in rare cases need a heavy duty X-Ray machine be used. ...And we live out in the Styx. Now lets play games! Have your Home Semen test kit do its stuff. Meet with your wife and have your own discussion recorded. Check with a professional in order to ensure that the recording will stand up in court. I do not think that recording your own conversation is illegal. Say to her that you have done further investigation and that you have obtained the results. These results would be made available via the legal process. Wave an official looking envelope around to lend credibility. However, in exchange for an affidavit confessing to the affair, you would be willing not to involve the OM and his family. The beauty of this that once she verbally affirms her affair with Dr. X, the affidavit becomes redundant. All the evidence is now on the surveillance monitor tape/ or witnesses. You may then return the affidavit and say that you have changed your mind. Contact the OM wife and present this evidence before her. Enlist her aid in obtaining her husband's DNA samples. From a medical perspective, it would be interesting to know how the FDA would react to a report of suspected coitus in an X-Ray room. If you want to play with her mind, you may suggest that the samples taken indicate that there could be herpes involved. Gee! This is complicated and Machiavellian but I enjoyed mulling it over.
Author NoMoreGames Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 This story seems too big... hard to believe actually.. I can't believe that someone would continue to allow his partner to laugh at him.. to take advantage financially.. etc.. etc.. and that he can't do anything about it.. come on.. I doubt he's that stupid.. what 'creative solution' can be give him.. except to leave her.. geeezzz..it's not like she is going to scr*ew the OM right in front of her H... From what I read.. the OP wants more sympathy than advices.. I can't believe that he just can't think by himself.. duh!!! So my advice to him: grow some balls..and face the problem... get a lawyer and divorce... simple... period! Ok, First of all I think I might have posted in the wrong area of this forum. I was not expecting sympathy!!!!! All I was asking was if I could force someone to take a polygraph to prove guilt. But , as it ends up, I do thank everyone that has supported me in this time pain. Quote by Cyabye "Ahem, a little jolt to get him out of the fog causes NO harm. But showing disrespect and not sympathizing with a given situation while someoine is hurting is NOT necessary. It's NOT a question whether he has balls or not. Maybe his beliefs are guiding his actions. Maybe he doesn't believe in divorce unless their is infidelity (proven in court). Maybe he still loves his wife and can't believe she is doing this to him (aka the fog). Maybe you don't have enough information from an public internet forum to JUDGE (doormat etc.) people. cyabye" Very well put Cyabye. This is true in my case, I wanted to be sure that this was truly happening before I took action on it. When she would not deny that she was sleeping with the DR. , she could have been playing with my head ,whcih is what she is known for. It is her personality to play head games (hence my screen name) . and although I hate the games , I did still love her and just learned to ignore the games. Once she noticed that it didn't bother me ,she would stop playing. Yes, she is hatefull and inmature, but it is what it is!! I think once I found the card last week , I saw through the "Fog" and my mind started racing with all of the normal human thoughts. Just like most of you here that has been through this , I have only had a few hours of sleep in the last week. I'm not saying this for the attention or sympathy, but to say that I now know how you must have felt. Now that I have seen the real light I have decided to move forward with a lawer and get out of this mess. In the last week I have been searching the internet to see what I can do. I have wasted 70 bucks on some type of stupid software that would allow me to capture her cell phone calls and listen in. Dumb move on my part , I did this without a clear head . Number one , it did not have all of the files needed to work on my phone and number two is after I purchased it I discovered that it is illegal in most states inclyding mine. That's why I'm taking a step back , slowing down and making sure that I do this the right way ( this is my first time dealing with something like this). Yes, I did chekout Checkmate.com and it looks real , but as I stated above I'm cautious about what I buy from now on. Has anyone used it before and does it really work? Is it worth another 70 dollars? Will it stand up in court? As for everyone saying "throw her out" , In my state and most that I'm aware of it is illegal to throw someone out of their home "no matter what". I know for a fact that I cannot force her by the hair on her head out the door like caveman days. I have to file for divorce first and then have some type of legal document forcing her out. I can raise all the hell in the world and man handle her around until she leaves but 1. that's not my style and 2. that would be want she needs to get me kicked out of the house. I refuse to loose my cool over this and then me make a mistake and be the bad guy. As for the xray room and the type of doctor , When I first joined this forum the other day , I did not want to give the specifics of our ID. I changed type of doctor that he is and what type of job she has. He is a animal vet and she is the office manager / vet tech. I did not see how changing the type of doctor would matter in this thread, but since there was some concern's about my "story being true" , I feel like I own that much to everyone. Again, I'm not expecting sympathy , just help with my situations and some suggestions how how to prove guilt. Thanks
troubadour Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 NMG, you can not force anyone to take polygraph test... the results are 92.5% accurate and can be influenced by many factors. The results are not admissible in the court of law.
Author NoMoreGames Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 Ok! Nomoregames Now lets play games! Have your Home Semen test kit do its stuff. Meet with your wife and have your own discussion recorded. Check with a professional in order to ensure that the recording will stand up in court. I do not think that recording your own conversation is illegal. Say to her that you have done further investigation and that you have obtained the results. These results would be made available via the legal process. Wave an official looking envelope around to lend credibility. However, in exchange for an affidavit confessing to the affair, you would be willing not to involve the OM and his family. The beauty of this that once she verbally affirms her affair with Dr. X, the affidavit becomes redundant. All the evidence is now on the surveillance monitor tape/ or witnesses. You may then return the affidavit and say that you have changed your mind. Contact the OM wife and present this evidence before her. Enlist her aid in obtaining her husband's DNA samples. From a medical perspective, it would be interesting to know how the FDA would react to a report of suspected coitus in an X-Ray room. If you want to play with her mind, you may suggest that the samples taken indicate that there could be herpes involved. Gee! This is complicated and Machiavellian but I enjoyed mulling it over. That's funny because , this is the same thing that I thought about doing before I joined this forum. Playing a game of poker with her in a way , but dont show all of the cards. I thought that I could sit her down while holding a legal looking envelope full of junk paper work in my hand and act as if I have more than I do. Most of you are going to freak on this and think that I'm a nut , but this makes a man do strange things. I know when they place the trash in their dumpster out back and I have been going by there in the evening's looking for the bag from his private office. As bad as this sounds , All of the trash from the front office is placed in black medical bags and the bag in his private office is plan white and it only contains old magazines and paper work. I went in his office this past week and seen that it is allmost full which means that he will be throwing it out in the next few nights. I'm hoping that he placed the real card in there and if I'm able to get my hands on it , that would be enough to send her walking. But incase I'm not able to get it , I did purchase one just like it from the same store. Since he is married as well I don't think it will be long before he throws the card in the trash in fear of his wife finding it. So, I can wait a week or two while I'm waiting on my checkmate test kit results. This would give him time to throw it out. Then I could include the real card or the one that I bought in the envelope and just let her see the outside face of it when we sit down to talk. At this point she would not know that if it was or was not the real thing. I'm sure she wrote something inside of it, but I wont let her touch it or open it. I was going to make her an offer for her just to get her stuff and leave and we file for a no-contest and I would not say anything to his wife (yea right) !!! If she wants to fight it then the other wife would be brought into the picture and she would take his butt for everything . I beleive that she holds interest in his small business so she might shut that down as well , not sure. But in any case she would at least make him fire my wife. Tha's why I would prefer to wait until the Checkmate results are back and I know 100% that it is him and not someone else that I don't know about. It would be pretty easiy for me to collect his DNA. I visit their offcie once a week at least and I could grab his empty soda can when he is not around. She coming up the drive way , so I'll be back later..
Darth Vader Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Get the card your wife gave to him, if it's not illegal! As far as the card goes, I'd keep it in a very safe place if I were you. Use the store bought card instead when you have everything. When this thing goes down, whether it backfires on you or works, expect wifey to get extremely nasty! She'll have nothing to lose then! Watch your back, Vader Out!
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