NoMoreGames Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 There is no doubt that my wife is cheating on me . To file for divorce on the grounds of infidelity you must provide evidence. In my state you cannot video tape or record phonecalls without their permission. This is a catch 22 , I have to get their permission to record them having sex. I wont get into all of the facts because their is just so much to list. She works for a dentist as a office manger and they wait for everyone to leave for the day and then they lock up the office and go at it. I have tried sevral times to catch them , but when I knock on the door they come to the door three to five minutes later. They both just look at me and laugh because they know I cannot enter the building, or hide video camera's inside without breaking the law. When I have ask her about it , she said that I have to prove it and that they do not leave any stone unturned. How do I get enough evidence to prove my case , if I'm not allowed to enter the building and that's the only place the meet? Neither one of them could pass a polygraph test. Can I force them to take one to support my case?
whichwayisup Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Follow her and bring two friends with you - Possibly one who is a mutual friend of you both, that way you have evidence by 2 eye witnesses. Catch them in the act. Anyway, you need to talk to a lawyer.
Tripper Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Crummy law!! It puts you in a tough spot. If she's so condescending and cavalier about it, why does she want to stay married to you?? Couple of things come to mind... Is there any other reason for divorce in your state that you can use to file?? Is this guy in a relationship?? If so why not threaten to tell his W/gf your suspicions and lay out what you have? What about the possibility of hiring a PI to get the evidence?? In a more unscrupulous fashion.. Does your W have a key to the office?? Can you "borrow" it without her knowledge and get another cut so you can simply waltz in the door with a camera?? You can deny you have a key and simply state you found the door unlocked. Let them prove otherwise..
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 What a dumb law.. here in Canada.. there is no such thing as to prove infidelity.. you want to divorce.. then it's 50-50.. didn't work out.. no need to prove anything.. She is laughing right in your face.. I am not sure, since the laws are different in your country, what you can do about it.. Maybe you should talk to a private investigator or a lawyer.. or simply leave her.. period.. then divorce later.
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Crummy law!! It puts you in a tough spot. If she's so condescending and cavalier about it, why does she want to stay married to you?? Couple of things come to mind... Is there any other reason for divorce in your state that you can use to file?? Is this guy in a relationship?? If so why not threaten to tell his W/gf your suspicions and lay out what you have? What about the possibility of hiring a PI to get the evidence?? In a more unscrupulous fashion.. Does your W have a key to the office?? Can you "borrow" it without her knowledge and get another cut so you can simply waltz in the door with a camera?? You can deny you have a key and simply state you found the door unlocked. Let them prove otherwise.. hahahaha.. I like that.. 'waltz with a camera" I have mental image of that.. hilarious.. but I like the idea of the key.. but if they have a sophisticate camera/door lock system.. I doubt he can just use a key..
BUENG1 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 There is no doubt that my wife is cheating on me . To file for divorce on the grounds of infidelity you must provide evidence. In my state you cannot video tape or record phonecalls without their permission. This is a catch 22 , I have to get their permission to record them having sex. I wont get into all of the facts because their is just so much to list. She works for a dentist as a office manger and they wait for everyone to leave for the day and then they lock up the office and go at it. I have tried sevral times to catch them , but when I knock on the door they come to the door three to five minutes later. They both just look at me and laugh because they know I cannot enter the building, or hide video camera's inside without breaking the law. When I have ask her about it , she said that I have to prove it and that they do not leave any stone unturned. How do I get enough evidence to prove my case , if I'm not allowed to enter the building and that's the only place the meet? Neither one of them could pass a polygraph test. Can I force them to take one to support my case? what about emails and text messages? You could try and get the password and then forward yourself texts, emails etc.
Curmudgeon Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 How do I get enough evidence to prove my case , if I'm not allowed to enter the building and that's the only place the meet? Why bother? Can't you simply get divorced for whatever reason such as irreconcilable differences? Is your aim to try to expose and shame them or is your primary goal to rid yourself of an unfaithful spouse? Are there financial advantages to proving her unfaithful or would it merely be icing on the cake? Sometimes a no-fault divorce can be a real bargain because it simply gets the job done! Then you're free of them, and especially her. If you REALLY need or want that proof, hire a PI in your state who knows the law and can work within it.
Darth Vader Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Why bother? Can't you simply get divorced for whatever reason such as irreconcilable differences? Is your aim to try to expose and shame them or is your primary goal to rid yourself of an unfaithful spouse? Are there financial advantages to proving her unfaithful or would it merely be icing on the cake? Sometimes a no-fault divorce can be a real bargain because it simply gets the job done! Then you're free of them, and especially her. If you REALLY need or want that proof, hire a PI in your state who knows the law and can work within it. I agree with the PI thing. The fact that she mentioned that they "leave no stone unturned" tells you your answer! They're screwing! Anyway, I hope that you disabled cookies and computer history. Make sure that the auto fill feature is not activated on this site! Don't have sex with her, you'll understand why in a minute, for a reason other than not getting STD's. Lastly, and this is the reason NOT to have sex with her, have you ever heard of CheckMate? What it is, it's a sperm detection kit, included are instructions on how and what to check, have you seen the OM's sperm in your wife's panties, I know you had to have looked. Anyway, Get the CheckMate kit, follow their instructions as how to pay, then do as it says! If you have found sperm on your wife's panties, and you havn't been having sex with her, I'd send the panties off to get a DNA test done, to confirm that it's not your sperm. Someone on here a while ago took one of his wife's pads and sent it off, if I recall correctly it came back positive for semen! I don't know if they use condoms or not, but heck, it's worth a shot! Don't tell your wife of this site! Collect your evidence, and contact a GOOD Lawyer, we're here for ya! Vader Out!
Darth Vader Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Oh, and one more thing, this evidence, as CheckMate touts, is admissable in a court of Law! Dirty panties in a hamper, it may be considered "Public Domain"! Just make sure that you get to the panties BEFORE she washes them! You can install a keylogger on the computer that your wife uses!
Author NoMoreGames Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 Crummy law!! It puts you in a tough spot. If she's so condescending and cavalier about it, why does she want to stay married to you?? Couple of things come to mind... Is there any other reason for divorce in your state that you can use to file?? Is this guy in a relationship?? If so why not threaten to tell his W/gf your suspicions and lay out what you have? What about the possibility of hiring a PI to get the evidence?? In a more unscrupulous fashion.. Does your W have a key to the office?? Can you "borrow" it without her knowledge and get another cut so you can simply waltz in the door with a camera?? You can deny you have a key and simply state you found the door unlocked. Let them prove otherwise.. Thanks for all of the replies, The reason that she stays married to me is because , she has some minor health issues and needs a lot of expensive medication and right now she is on my health insurance plan. This saves her several hundred dollars a month just for doctor visits and medication. She can't rely on him to fully support her with stuff like insurance, rent, food,...... because he is also married. Then theres the fact that she does not make enough money to support herself or make a rent payment. I make all of the payments , house, utilities, food, insurance.......... So in a sense she has the best of both worlds , a place that she can call home where everything is provided and then she goes to work where she can have her affair and get away with it. Plus she has sveral pets that she would have to take with her and most appartments wont allow that many pets. Even if I was able to get a key to the outside door , it would still be impossiable to catch them in the act. There is a dark room that they have for processing xrays and it locks from the inside. I have stopped by the office late in the afternoon and they would both be in the room with the door locked . When I ask if I could come in , they claimed that the door could not be opened until the film was finished developing. So about five minutes later they walk out , both just smiling and laughing (at me). They have done this while his wife was sitting in his private office waiting to take him to dinner. When I walked in I ask his wife where my wife was and she said in the xray room working. Yea right, working it maybe!! This is the problem that I'm faced with, They do not email each other , my wife doesnt even have an email account. Sometimes they call each other's cell , But they have to for their job, so I can't show evidence that they are cheating because the call each other. They dont meet at hotels or either ones house because both are married and they dont have to take the risk. Last week I was changing the oil in her Jeep and I needed the owners manual. Her glove box was locked. When I unlocked it and removed the manual, a small brown bag fell out and a birthday card fell out of the bag. I notated the store and the actuly card. When she saw me reading the manual she freaked out with fear. She acted very strange by asking me questions like, "Where did you find that, I didnt know that I had a owners manual" , So I told her and she said that she had no idea that she had a glove box, but only a center console. The next afternoon I went back to check the glove box and it was now unlocked and the card was missing. The next morning I did not go in to work and when she get got out of bed she was surprised that I was still there. I noticed her purse sitting on the dinner table and it was unzipped and partialy opened. She very quickly noticed it and fumbled around in it for a minute and then she closed it. I knew that the card must be in the purse now , because it was his birthday that day. She would not leave me in the room alone for a long time and she kept asking me why I was hanging around in the kitchen. I played it off, and once she had to go to the back room to get ready for work I grabbed the camera and opened the purse. There it was, sitting inside the purse. I was able to get a few good shots of it. The next day I went to that store and purchased the same card. I won't quote the whole card , but it said things like " I remember the first time that we kissed" , " I Love the way you make me feel..da da da .... It was truly a very close relationship type card. The front of the card stated " The reasons that I "LOVE you". She had not had time to write anything on the card yet, so I had to leave it there and let her go through the motions. If I had ask about the card , she could have said it was for me ( which would have been way out of charcter for her) . I checked her purse again that night and the card was gone. Now I need to get my hands on the card since she has written something on it. In the past when I told her that I was tired of being ignored and treated so harsh, she told me that I could move out and file for divorce and that she would sell the house and split any money made. The problem that I'm having with this is that , She has never paid one dollar toward anything ,including the house payment . And I have done so much to this house and yard over the last 12 years that I have everything like I want in a home and I dont see why "I" have to give that up because "She" decided to have an affair. I have never raised a hand to her, never cheated on her, always seen that she had food on the table ( that I cooked), And made sure that every house payment was made on time . So why do "I" have to leave the house , I have done nothing wrong.
Darth Vader Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Don't leave the house, make the Bitch leave! BTW, why not contact the OM's wife about what's been going on? Have you checked up on the CheckMate thing? Contact a Good Men's Rights Lawyer and end this mess of a marriage!
theobserver Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Just get the divorce started, get some advice from your lawyer on protecting as much assets as you can this might involve "gifts" to trusted family members *wink*. Some women.. some PEOPLE you can give them the world keep them alive lol and they just don't appreciate it. I think the comment on how you can just leave the house and she'll sell it is the most insulting seems this marriage has been over a long time who knows but she seems ready to get out as long as she gets her cut. Start filing for divorce, inform the OM's Wife and Inform her Parents make her start to sweat and crumble because chances are your going to lose half of everything anyway no matter what mist aswell expose this witch while you can before you're made to be the bad guy and she will try. Good Luck. I hope you get control of the house though I doubt she could afford anything once your gone anyway unless she gets a good settlement.
Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Sorry dude but I don't feel sorry for you.. This is hard to believe man!!!! What is this.. a 'victim's complaint' a 'martyr story'???... geezz man... grow some balls.. you allow her to use you.. and then you complain about it.. you want sympathy from us... I don't blame her.. in a way.. she can have everything she wants.. you are letting her have her own way.. under her own conditions.. then I say good for her.. I can't believe that you can't do anything about it.. my bet is that you just don't want to... you know she's cheating.. but yet, you still allow her to... just leave.. period.. or kick her out.. geeezzz... I don't have sympathy for doormats ...sorry.
Tripper Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 In the past when I told her that I was tired of being ignored and treated so harsh, she told me that I could move out and file for divorce and that she would sell the house and split any money made. The problem that I'm having with this is that , She has never paid one dollar toward anything ,including the house payment . And I have done so much to this house and yard over the last 12 years that I have everything like I want in a home and I dont see why "I" have to give that up because "She" decided to have an affair. I have never raised a hand to her, never cheated on her, always seen that she had food on the table ( that I cooked), And made sure that every house payment was made on time . So why do "I" have to leave the house , I have done nothing wrong. First, get a good lawyer to protect your rights and financial assets. In a long term marriage she will be entitled to half of everything. So protect yourself. Next find out how you can put her on notice legally. That is since she is entitled to half the property, then she is also liable for half the expenses, payments and taxes. If she defaults, find out a way to charge her interest that will come off of her equity in the home. Do not, under any circumstances move out. Start divorce proceedings and make it crystal clear why and if she wants to play hardball, if you are absolutely certain she's cheating, let the OM's wife know what's going on. She's in the same boat as you. Unless you want to save this "shambles" of a marriage it's time to get your act together, grow a pair and not take this crap from your W.
cyabye Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Sorry dude but I don't feel sorry for you.. This is hard to believe man!!!! NoMoreGames, consult a lawyer for a no fault divorce or infidelity if you can prove it and get her arse out of your house ASAP. Separate all finances NOW. Who cares if she needs medicine, a place to live and can't afford to make it on her own. All of that is her problem now. She made her bed now let her sleep in it. All of her s##t would be on the street. Let her change her own damn oil. It is time for you to man up. I agree with the statements about manning up but I do sympathize with you. I would definately exploit her affair to everyone and to his wife too.
lkjh Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Lizzie60- why do you always side with the cheater? I mean who could possible say good for her when all she is doing is using other people for her own personal pleasure. I' m curious do you have anyone in your life besides married men? I only ask because judging by your post you don't seem like the type of person that has a lot to offer someone in a relationship except for an easy hook up.
troubadour Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I don't want to sound too harsh but if NoMoreGames lets his wife ride him like a blind mule than he deserves to get what he is getting... it is that simple...
Lookingforward Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Lizzie60- why do you always side with the cheater? I mean who could possible say good for her when all she is doing is using other people for her own personal pleasure. I' m curious do you have anyone in your life besides married men? I only ask because judging by your post you don't seem like the type of person that has a lot to offer someone in a relationship except for an easy hook up. I don't see it as Lizzie "siding with the cheater" but rather telling the OP to be a man and not a doormat. (and fwiw this thread is NOT about lizzie so those comments were unnecessary)
Lookingforward Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Lizzie60, not everyone is as intelligent and experienced as you are and have trouble "seeing the light" when they are in "the fog". If you don't have something productive or positive to say in regards to his situation, I suggest you keep your mouth shut. Your quote at the end of your post suggest your demeanor and I have no respect for people who do not have sympathy for people who are deserving. NUFF SAID. NoMoreGames, consult a lawyer for a no fault divorce or infidelity if you can prove it and get her arse out of your house ASAP. Separate all finances NOW. Who cares if she needs medicine, a place to live and can't afford to make it on her own. All of that is her problem now. She made her bed now let her sleep in it. All of her s##t would be on the street. Let her change her own damn oil. It is time for you to man up. I agree with the statements about manning up but I do sympathize with you. I would definately exploit her affair to everyone and to his wife too. NOW GO HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS LIKE A MAN! cyabye I don't see that your advice differed very much from what Lizzie said frankly.........
Tripper Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I don't want to sound too harsh but if NoMoreGames lets his wife ride him like a blind mule than he deserves to get what he is getting... it is that simple... Hold on a sec, here.. NMG posted asking for advice on how to get "the goods" on his cheating wife. I'm sure he wouldn't ask if he wasn't thinking about moving forward with a divorce. Also he does have an emotional attachment and a very vested interest in the M financially and possibly in the back of his mind he may want to try to salvage the M (as doubtful as that possibility is). I agree he needs to take control of the situation and his life, but let's not call him names. Criticizing him is easy.. but coming up with a creative solution to his problem... Well, that's the challenge.
Lookingforward Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 Hold on a sec, here.. NMG posted asking for advice on how to get "the goods" on his cheating wife. I'm sure he wouldn't ask if he wasn't thinking about moving forward with a divorce. Also he does have an emotional attachment and a very vested interest in the M financially and possibly in the back of his mind he may want to try to salvage the M (as doubtful as that possibility is). I agree he needs to take control of the situation and his life, but let's not call him names. Criticizing him is easy.. but coming up with a creative solution to his problem... Well, that's the challenge. It worries me that he thinks the ONLY way to get away from his harpie of a wife is to prove infidelity........she doesn't respect the M obviously, or him. If it was me I'd just be wanting O-U-T
makinitwork Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 check out (associated content.com)hope this can help you
troubadour Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Tripper, It is very unlikly that he will ever be able to get any proof of his wife infidelity... I mean the proof that would be admisible in the court. His wife has "suggested" him that she may be playing "hide the susage" with the dentist and she has also scoffed him that he would never be able to prove it. On the top of it she has also told him to move out and get divorce from her if he didn't like it. Any man, with a basic sense of self-respect, would have immediately talked to a divorce lawyer after hearing something like that. What else does he need to know. She has completely humiliated him. He does not have a marriage and his wife doesn't give a flying f... about him. But he hasn't filled for a divorce yet... he hasen't even talked to a divorce lawyer yet. If he does not respect himself why his wife would do it.
Lizzie60 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Hold on a sec, here.. NMG posted asking for advice on how to get "the goods" on his cheating wife. I'm sure he wouldn't ask if he wasn't thinking about moving forward with a divorce. Also he does have an emotional attachment and a very vested interest in the M financially and possibly in the back of his mind he may want to try to salvage the M (as doubtful as that possibility is). I agree he needs to take control of the situation and his life, but let's not call him names. Criticizing him is easy.. but coming up with a creative solution to his problem... Well, that's the challenge. This story seems too big... hard to believe actually.. I can't believe that someone would continue to allow his partner to laugh at him.. to take advantage financially.. etc.. etc.. and that he can't do anything about it.. come on.. I doubt he's that stupid.. what 'creative solution' can be give him.. except to leave her.. geeezzz..it's not like she is going to scr*ew the OM right in front of her H... From what I read.. the OP wants more sympathy than advices.. I can't believe that he just can't think by himself.. duh!!! So my advice to him: grow some balls..and face the problem... get a lawyer and divorce... simple... period!
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