yongyong Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 so I met this woman at coffee shop. I just got her phone number as practice (you know those vh1 pickup artist stuff) I kept meeting her just to have fun and I thought she was doing it for fun too (a lot older than me and has a kid, I am single n young guy, you can imagine the picture) As I see her I noticed my emotion was changing and could see her experienceing the same through her eyes. We agreed that we are not just sex partners and started to attach to each other from then. we were getting close so fast that her friends were concerned. (we talked about living with her together and it was kind of planned) She was concerned what if I leave her and break her heart and wasn't sure why a single young guy like me would date older woman with a kid I met her kid couple times. we shared the conversation about the future as well. too show my commitment to her, I took her to the jewelry store and got her a promise ring. when she accepted that ring and told me how important it was, I could read her genuine feeling through her eyes we spent that night together at her house. we both went to work in the morning. around evening, I called her just like regular day. she hung up on me right away couple times. I thought she were in meeting or something so I didn't care. I tried to call her more but she didn't answer till midnight. I got a txt saying she is having fun and ok. I got kinda freaked out cuz it could be a guy and started driving to her house. I called her near her house and she finally answered. she told me she is at someplace and I should go home and she would call me in the morning. I was really mad and started to yell at her. when I said, if I don't see her right now, it would be all over, her response was, find she doesn't give a ****. it made me furious because I was worrying about her and I got that kind of response. I had to use f words. in the morning, she just sent me a txt saying it's all over, don't ever call. I tried to call her many times but no answer. I asked I want the ring back and just wanted to ask questions while looking at her in the eye. when I went to her house, she wasn't mad anything like that and just told me calmy it's over so please go home. I asked I don't understand how this can happen after I gave you the ring. I explained why I had to get mad yesterday night. she was telling me she is not just ready to have relationship. (at this time, she was having legal fight with her husband) she doesn't love me anymore and I can't convince her when she wanted to go into the house and I pulled her hand couple times and told her we can work things out she was saying be a man just walk away like a man I didn't show tears or beg because I knew it won't change anyway. I was thinking if everything's going to end, I should say something that will make her upset. but I didn''t do that it was only 2 months relationship but I am upset cuz I gave her my heart and trusted her. it happend right away I gave her ring and it makes me wonder. it could be becasue of the situation she is in (legal fight with ex husband) because she can't see long future with me (when she hit 40 I am just over 30s) or I am not economically independent yet (still in college) or some f words I said that night anyway I still don't understand how a person who has been saying I think about you all the time, falling in love with you and had genuine feeling (not just words, you can read by how they say it) can change overnight..................... can you imagine your bf or gf can do this to you in this moment you are reading this? I've been hearing that after breaking up, men still think about the past but for women, they never look back
Habibti Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 It was a 2 month relationship and she showed signs of instability. I know you're hurt right now, but consider it a blessing in disguise.
Author yongyong Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 she was drinking with her friends that night. Her friends wanted to see me and tried to look me up on myspace. so her friends was part of the decision I believe she's been telling me her brain says no but her heart says yes. I would be less upset if she sat with me and talked about it before breaking up she even told me she would call police if I show up at her house. I still can't believe this really happened. ever chance of getting her back?
xjohnsgirlx Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I've been hearing that after breaking up, men still think about the past but for women, they never look back Lol i just want to say im sorry for ur loss but you only have one life to live, please dont let this hurt you, you need to enjoy yourself and it is very hard to find a decent person who understand the true meaning of love. Just be careful. And girls dont just forget the past and move on, i would say guys are more common to do that? but thats just my opinion. Best of luck hun x
Author yongyong Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 she sent me txt saying how I am doing at 2 am. I know she can't just forget about me but I don't know how to respond to this cuz she was really brutal to me.
nopainnogain Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 I've been hearing that after breaking up, men still think about the past but for women, they never look back Probably because woman Have an easier time dating after a breakup. Woman get approached while men have to do the approaching as a shell of his former self:(
nopainnogain Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 she sent me txt saying how I am doing at 2 am. I know she can't just forget about me but I don't know how to respond to this cuz she was really brutal to me. Dont respond. She was probably drunk or something. Let her txt again,keep her wondering for a minute
cobidoll Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 is there a chance she could be pregnant and feels you can't handle the costs so she is going to stay w/ financially stable hubby? reason i ask....it happened to me minus the husband part. did she give you the ring back?
nopainnogain Posted July 26, 2008 Posted July 26, 2008 is there a chance she could be pregnant and feels you can't handle the costs so she is going to stay w/ financially stable hubby? reason i ask....it happened to me minus the husband part. did she give you the ring back? Wow,thats a crazy angle to look at. She has his kid and wont tell him. That would be whacked
Author yongyong Posted July 26, 2008 Author Posted July 26, 2008 no.......she can support herself. If she was one of those single moms looking for a daddy with money, I wouldn't date her. She has the ring and she will return to get a credit because she left me a gift around that value. is there a chance she could be pregnant and feels you can't handle the costs so she is going to stay w/ financially stable hubby? reason i ask....it happened to me minus the husband part. did she give you the ring back?
Author yongyong Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 I am coming here every 30 mins to see if someone posted good advice. My heart says I should respond to her. I know this is not good 'game 'strategy' (after I got her phone number, I didn't contact her right away, when exchanging txt messages I didn't respond immediately, I didn't show my real emotion until she revealed hers) I stopped playing game since our relationship started. Logically. I shouldn't respond to her right away because of how she treated me at the end. But my emotion keeps pushing me (I think this is why she contacted first too)
nopainnogain Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 Dont let your emotions control you,you control your emotions. Dont call her.
Author yongyong Posted July 27, 2008 Author Posted July 27, 2008 she is asking me to be her friend now. Wow, is she doing this so I don't get totally upset? or she wants to see if it will work out again?
awkward Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 I know it sucks. I think you should just walk away. There could be a number of reasons why she broke it off. You could guess many times and still not be right. For your sanity and heart, walk away and find someone else.
Author yongyong Posted July 28, 2008 Author Posted July 28, 2008 So bottom line is I want to get back with her but I don't want to be the desperate person.(this strategy won't help me anyway) 'people want things they can't have' she asked if I could be her friend and I txted her saying 'we took a flight without returning ticket' (meaning we can't go back to the beginning) 'I showed my whole heart and you didn't accept it but I have no regret' 'If you won't regret, never look back. you live once, forget about stupid memory' She asked me if I was still in love (didn't answer) and would call me sometime to see me. I will see her and listen to her story but I won't say something stupid like 'why did you do that but I still love you' (while giving her a hug or kiss) I will just talk like business meeting(no smile nor sad face) and tell her I lost a trust in her so it will take sometime to go back to where we were. If she shows me 'whatever' attitude, then it would be all over period.
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